I wear a niqab! AMA

[JamTea]

Hi everyone,

I am a regular MNer and NC'd for this :). As background, I have a successful career in tech, I am a Muslim and I wear niqab too. Since Boris's comments, I've seen quite a bit written on MN about burqa and niqab, and thought it may be useful to answer any questions people have in relation to niqab. I also know a large number of Muslim women and have lived in various Muslim communities, so can probably speak from my experience and relay other people's experiences too.

Just as a note: I don't know any women in the UK that wear burqa and I have never seen anyone wear a burqa in real life. The difference between niqab and burqa is illustrated here: cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/1/590x/scarf-651554.jpg

These posts are descending into full on racist and I won't mince my words and call it anything else.

If I was a Muslim woman I'd feel completely betrayed and disappointed that a place I presumed I'd find sisterhood only included me if I played into this patronising sense of superiority and assumed intelligence that a lot of posters are displaying.

Who the hell do you think you are, and with completely different lived experience, what the hell do you think you know?

The irony!

We have a site full of so called feminists who are telling another woman that her CHOICES are wrong because they don't make sense based on your cultural and religious (or non religious) norms.

There is such an imperialist mindset on display here it's sickening and hilarious in the same breath.

All this shouting about mansplaining! What do you think you're doing here?

I thought feminism started with respecting women equally?

Or are they right when they say feminism isn't inclusive.

All day you shout at people to listen to womens voices but here you mock and ridicule one because she doesn't conform to your standards.

I feel uncomfortable with various states of islamic dress and I don't doubt that a lot of women are forced to wear it. However, if a grown women tells me she wears it because she wants to (regardless of her reasons) who the hell am I not to believe her.

Pimped prostitutes wear wear mini skirts and crop tops. Do I tell other women not too because there are women forced to wear this attire to attract punters?

You all need to get over yourselves. You're not smart and you're certainly not funny.

That's picture is racist as hell and anyone that thought that was funny should be ashamed of themselves.

This post is displaying a lot about so called tolerance that most profess to having!

Candy, if your posts are real I'm very sorry that my propaganda radar is strong. I would seriously urge you to walk in your sister's foot steps and understand the best thing you can do for your children is model the life and relationship you would want them to have. Children mostly learn from what we do, not what we say. However, for the benefit of the doubt I am going to ask HQ to check your posts as some, including me, might see your posts as suspiciously convenient. Again, if I am wrong please forgive me and keep posting here in the future for support and strength.

@simonisnotme

do you wear it to stand out and 'attract' comments (either positive or negative) so that you can react to them

No, most definitely not. It is really really scary being at the receiving end of negative comments and abuse, and I wouldn't wish that anyone. To be honest I meet a lot of polite people, but positive comments are extremely rare!

"It is mentioned in the hadeeth (sayings of the Prophet) and eluded to in the Quran (Muslim scripture)"

Mohammad says in the Hadith that women's face and hands should be visible. If you don't know of that Hadith, you should learn about it.

Quran doesn't say that women should cover their faces. The one time it talks about women's clothing, it says that women should cover their bosoms with the cloth over their heads.

And you don't know what "elude" means.

@Scotgirl80

Hi, Am I correct In believing the Quran dosnt actually state a woman needs to cover her face? Is it just she needs to dress modestly and this then is it down to interpretation?

The Quran mentions that women should wear a 'jilbab' when they leave their home and this has been interpreted differently by scholars, some suggesting that it is just an outer loose clothing (like a cloak) whilst others have said it means covering the face too. The Prophet's wives (who are our female role models) covered their faces when they went out in public.

@MilkTwoSugarsThanks

How do you communicate with people who have impaired hearing and need to lip read?

I would take my niqab off, without question. I also know some sign language (not an expert) so I could signal, but tbh I haven't had much practice and would probably end up embarrassing myself.

@Bluntness100

Op, you do understand the concept of ask me anything is you're actually supposed to answer, it's not just the asking 🤣

I am addressing each and every question, but I am going in order as that is only fair as there are lots of questions!

"Who the hell do you think you are, and with completely different lived experience, what the hell do you think you know?"

I dare say I know a bit about this subject, possibly more than OP, having grown up in a Muslim country with many Muslims among my family and friends and having suffered Muslim RE throughout my childhood & teenage years.

Who the hell do you think you are and what the hell do you think you know?

I'm Catholic and wouldn't give a toss if someone put a pic of a nun abseiling up here
One of the reasons that, as an, Irish ‘Catholic’, I’ve always loved Dave Allen. May your God go with you.

@TheCountryGirl

When I see women dressed in this way, I am reminded of my place in society - beneath men, a second class citizen and something shameful that is taking up space in male society. You are making YOUR choice to dress this way yes, but it is a choice that affects me and all women. I do not understand why you think your Lord would be pleased about this.

I don't understand you to understand why my Lord is pleased by this, as you don't I presume believe in my faith. I don't however understand why you think by me wearing something signals to you that you are as you say "am reminded of my place in society - beneath men, a second class citizen and something shameful that is taking up space in male society." Why do you feel so low of yourself? What makes you really feel like you are a second class citizen? Why don't you address that rather than blaming the piece of cloth I choose to wear? I am sorry I am really trying to hard understand, but can't follow the logic in your argument.

And why do Muslim men not wear veils? If it brings you closer to God, surely they would want to wear them? I hear people saying that they have their own traditional clothes to wear...funny because they always seem to wear western clothes.
Muslim men don't wear veils because God hasn't asked them to. All the men in my family wear traditional clothes. The majority of Muslim men may not be wearing traditional clothes, but then the majority of Muslim women don't wear niqab (or even jilbab or hijab).

growingboys actually I’m offended by anyone mocking any religion, and I will openly say so, that includes any types of memes including nuns.

home well put

Home interesting post- so vehemently lecturing about feminism and supporting women, but then making sure to tell a poster who has divulged domestic abuse that you are reporting her posts and that you doubt her.

"Muslim men don't wear veils because God hasn't asked them to."

God hasn't asked you to, either. If he had, Quran would say so. It is incredibly precise about every little thing God expects Muslims to do.

I have seen women wearing the burqa in Cardiff, far fewer than those who wear a niqab and vanishingly rare compared to those who wear a hijab but even so, I’m surprised you’ve not seen any at all.

Home

A choice made by a woman isn’t automatically a feminist one.

Taking your husbands name - not a feminist choice

Being a stripper - not a feminist choice

Wearing a hijab/niqab/burqa - not a feminist choice.

@LighthouseSouth

do you feel any sympathy for security concerns? eg you couldn't enter my workplace reception with a motorbike helmet on because the receptionist cant see the face of the person walking in. I think this is the same. this might seem hugely anti man but the worry it might be some awful violent man under there is real.

Absolutely I feel sympathy for security concerns and in fact I actively look for opportunities to show my face for ID, even when there aren't security concerns. So for example, when I had a railcard on the train, I would always put it up before asked.

When I am in a room where there are only females, I always remove the niqab. For example, GP waiting room. If someone needs to ID be, I am more than happy to oblige!

@CoteDAzur

*"Muslim men don't wear veils because God hasn't asked them to."

God hasn't asked you to, either. If he had, Quran would say so. It is incredibly precise about every little thing God expects Muslims to do.*

Just going off my order for this comment. Could you be any more condescending? I have studied my faith for over 10 years under various scholars and academics. I don't need to be told by you what my God has said or hasn't said (and even if my God hadn't said it, it is MY choice). Seriously do you mean to be so rude?

@bonzo77

I work with many Muslim women (clients) who cover themselves to some degree (though looking at your helpful picture, I’ve not seen anyone in a Burkha) and for whatever reason. Yet the vast vast vast majority of their menfolk wear entirely western clothing. Those that do wear “traditional” clothing are almost invariably older (60 or older). Why is that?

I’m Jewish, it feels to me that there is a higher degree of consistency betweeen the male and female dress codes of members of the individual sects. Not sure if this is an appropriate comparison but it is something I’ve noted. Have you seen this or philosophised on it?

This is really interesting and thanks for raising it. I think this is because the men's dress code is I think perhaps easier to cater for with western clothing? Men's clothing tend to be more 'modest' than women's on the high street? Also, men tend to go out a lot more and work more than women, so they are more accustomed to wearing western work clothes? In my family, those men that work in companies will wear a suit to work, but then when home will change into the traditional clothes, so to outsiders it feels like they don't wear traditional clothes, but they do actually.

I'm sorry you feel that a statement of fact is personally insulting to you.

If you disagree with my statement that God has not asked you to cover your face, feel free to show me where in Quran it states that women must cover their faces.

Also, please answer this:

If God wants women to cover their faces, why has his messenger Mohammad said that women's faces should be visible/uncovered?

@TatterdemalionAspie

Hi :) These are really good questions, thank you!

Why do you think it would please god for you to cover yourself with an all-encompassing garment that shows only your eyes?

Honestly, I don't know. I just know it pleases Him, and that's why I do it.

What would your reaction be if someone asked you to remove your face covering (for instance at a doctor's appointment, or classroom, or if someone had a hearing impairment, or for security reasons)? Are you happy to do so or would you be uncomfortable/upset?

I would be very very happy to, in fact I always expect it and will remove it before even being asked to. It is totally the norm among all my friends who wear niqab, as soon as the Dr says come in for example, the niqab will be put up.

@CoteDAzur

I am not going to argue religious scripture with you over the internet. If you want to discuss it and are genuinely looking for answer, please contact your local Imam, or if you don't know how to access one, please send me the city/town you are in, and I can find you the local masjid's number, who will put you in touch with a scholar.

@OverByYer

What I am interested to know is, has the dress restriction become stricter since then, or do women feel more comfortable to wear head coverings? Has society become more accepting of it?

Good question :) The dress code hasn't become stricter but I am third generation in this country and I am much more confident about my identity (British, Asian and Muslim) than my parents or grandparents ever were. So I find it easier in many ways to wear hijab (and niqab) than they perhaps did? My grandmother was also a migrant, so life was very difficult for them, so I suppose she had enough other life battles to deal with without adding this to the mix?

There is actually no country in the world currently that is using niqab to oppress women (Iran may be using hijab)

I find this very confusing, OP. If Iran is using hijab to oppress women, how is Saudi Arabia not also oppressing women? Are all women not required to cover everything except face and hands in public in Saudi Arabia? I don't follow your logic at all. I do understand the niqab is not required.

If it's oppression in one place, surely it's oppression in another. I'm not talking about your choice to wear in the UK, obviously if it's by choice it's not oppression. I am asking why you would say Iran is oppressive but not Saudi Arabia. I don't understand.

I would also like to know what type of Muslim you are. I am a Catholic Christian and the beliefs are quite different from other Christian religions, though some are closer than others.

OP can you please answer Cote's question about Mohammed?

@Onecutefox

I find it disrespectful when other cultures don't respect our culture by not assimilating with it. I also feel very uncomfortable talking to a woman not seeing her whole face.

I completely respect the British culture, which is my culture too, I am foremost British. There is only one thing I do that is different to an average Brit, which is I wear a niqab.

I am sorry you feel uncomfortable by it. Is it because I am wearing something you dislike (and why?)? Would you feel the same way if we were having a phone conservation and you couldn't see my face?

People are not allowed to wear hoodies in the shops but covering their faces is fine. Is it not ridiculous?

I have never heard of this. Which shops specifically is it banned in? I see plenty of people wearing hoodies and going to shops (not in to Harrods but elsewhere).

@Apileofballyhoo Please read again the highlighted bit you quoted, it says 'niqab' and NOT hijab.