I’m morbidly obese 26 stone AMA

[Mumsyoftwo09]

Such a hot topic at the moment with fat shaming etc.
Ask me anything

I think it’s a great ideas to keep hands busy at night!

Rousette that’s my problem! I don’t stop and then just keep replenishing stock. I do need to do a blanket don’t buy the crap as single suggests. Go cold turkey!

Definitely more difficult to lose as years go on. I’m mid thirties now and feel the difference from even 5yr ago so im aware it will be even worse to lose in 10 or 20 yrs time.

The knee injury must of been hard to deal with. It’s one of those joints that our bodies are do dependent on. Glad to hear it’s feeling better.

I may try the kg thing to see if it gives me a fresh view on the situation!

Single I have a heaving fruit bowl that gets topped up twice a week. Always strawberrries, blueberries and grapes in the fridge. It’s not that I dislike fruit and veg, I enjoy it. This evening we’ve had a huge chicken stir fry and noodles and then fresh fruit salad for pudding albeit with elmlea on. I just need to stop eatin all the crap as well!

Green dale as mortifying as it is answering your question..... it’s probably £50 a week Mark. That’s just in the crap. And about £60 a week on normal household shop.
Wow that’s terrible isn’t it when I say it out loud. I mean we are not on the breadline but nearly £3k a year would pay for all of Christmas and birthdays, a little family holiday to the seaside and sort all the school uniforms and kids clothes out.

Trinity - that is EXACTLY how I am! Lose a pound and a half. Which is amazing when you’ve got 2 stone to lose. When you’ve 15 stone to lose it don’t touch the sides.

Witch - what’s woolly hugs? Is that a thread on here?

Martini is does yes. I have sleep apnea so it affects night time breathing. But especially in weather like this I feel like I can’t quite catch my breath.

Ride - it’s difficult to say what I would do different and I suffered with PND, failed relationship, medication etc. And I suppose some of the old well if I’m fat and I no longer wear make up and take any interest in my appearance then I will become invisible to the world. But now it’s going to be the difference between seeing my grandkids or not so it goes way past looks now.
I felt fairly comfortable at 20 stone. But this last 6 stone has gone on so easy without me even noticing. Things different I would make sure I saught help for my PND sooner.

Tonight after cleaning up I am getting an early night.
And tomorrow.
Monday my new needlecraft should arrive.

Just to say thank you to everyone. I started this thread to see if anyone wanted to ask any brutal honest questions from a very Fat person.

It turned out to be very inspiring and supportive to read all of your responses. Bunch of bloody stars you are

Good luck Mumsy and yes I think going cold turkey on the snacks is the way to go. I just can't have snacks in the house, I know it's easy for me because my DCs have left home so I only buy crisps for instance, when they come home!

Also, I just have to say - do bear in mind fruit can be quite fattening! I could eat apples, oranges, grapes, anything... till the cows come home but one of my DDs who is really into nutrition that the natural sugars in fruit can pile on the weight.

*says that the natural sugars etc...

Mumsy I see you answered the query about bariatric surgery saying you're scared because of the psychological aspects, etc. As a fellow nurse I would just advise that if you were accepted on an NHS programme then the psychological side of things is part of the pre-operative planning.

Around eight years ago I was working in a private hospital that had a contract with the local NHS trust for bariatric surgery. Our heaviest patient was 26 stone, aged around 50. Of course as you're aware we don't usually know what happens to patients years down the line but I did hear from someone who knew her that it was very successful.

Magic have you a link to more info on the yoga please, and your plan? PM if you'd rather

Mumsy if you fancy a support partner on a very long journey, just shout

I have some different answers to Mumsy... Happy to share if anyone's interested

I'm in exactly the same boat. Was happy around the 18st mark, but after a hysterectomy I've crept up to 24st.

Started weight watchers a month ago and lost my first st this week. Only 14 more to go 🙄 it's been hard and lots of slip ups, but cross stitching had kept my hands busy and options hot chocolate have curbed my chocolate cravings.

Let me know if you need a buddy x

I’m really hoping this won’t come across as being rude, but how are your teeth?

As you are a person with likes and dislikes and not defined by your size tell us something about you that we would never guess about you

I’m always hopeful for the following start of a new day/week/month/year that this will be the new me. Iv usually failed by the evening of the first day.

I've been obese for years, I am just right now crossing the line back from "obese" to "overweight" having lost 3 stone so far, and still losing.

I just wanted to pick up on what you said about failing on the first day. I've found the first day the hardest of all, the second and third day hard too, but once you are over that hump, it s so much easier.

I was allowing myself the occasional small sweet treat, but every time I did that, I was suddenly back to the struggle of the first few days.

I am now eating no sweet things at all, and almost no carbohydrates. Once you are in the swing of it, it is so much easier.

This is not a list of instructions for you, don't think I am telling you what to do! This is just a list of suggestions that have helped me!

• power on through the first few days - force yourself, once you are through that barrier, it so much easier. And once you know the main struggle is only going to last a few days, not months, it is easier to get through them.

• no sweet things or sweet tasting things at all

-find a low calorie flavour you really like, and add it too the boring things - mine is mustard

• huge plates of vegetabes and salad, even if it is boring, and takes a long time to eat - it fills you up - I have just microwaved a huge plate of spinach for breakfast, and put a little bit of mustard on it, I am full, almost no calories at all.

• protein, like ham or eggs, filling, and nutritious.

• online activity trackers - very encouraging to see small improvements, ditto online weight and calorie trackers.

• speak to your doctor again, and ask for help, my doctor was able to give me some suggestions, such a a cup of instant low fat horlicks is 100 calories, nutritious and filling, this has been helpful when I've felt hungry because it fills me up very quickly, much better than biscuits or cakes, but it does make me sleepy!

• join a cheap sports club, do a little bit of running etc, they won't push you too hard, and will take an interest in your progress, which is motivating.

• never write off a day or give way to an out and out binge - if things have gone badly wrong think damage limitation - yes I messed up badly 10 minutes ago, but no need to compound that by continuing with this bag of crisps.... every time you stop and throw away the junk food helps.

• find a flavour tea you really like - mine is ginger. I drink it without milk, making it and drinking it takes up eating time.

• as others have said, if really hungry in the evening, go to bed!

• This is pretty disgusting, but have a mental image you hate, and transpose that on to the food that is tempting you. Mine is maggots or vomit. I look at the tasting tempting cake and imagine there are maggots in it, or that it is sitting in someone's vomit.

sorry, pressed too soon! congratuate yourself for every positive step, if you are mid binge and decide to stop right there and go to bed, that is a positive step, you have prevented the day going even worse -

good luck, come back here in a week and tell us you have lost 2lbs, then in a month to tell us you have lost quarter of a stone.... then you will be on your way xxx

Claire fantastic tips and I can identify with a lot of them. The beginning is the hardest, totally agree

Mumsy, did you have an early night? What time did you wake up?

Sleep is a wonderful healer. Having more sleep will do your body and mental well-being no end of good.

It is probably better to go to bed at 7pm with no binging than waking up at 5am. At 5am you can do some housework and have a really good breakfast to set you up for the day.

Try to get into the habit of 3 good meals rather than skipping meals and binging. Go out for a short walk withe the children everyday.

My parents were well over 20 stone when I was a child. My dad developed type 2 diabetes at 35 years. By 50 he had had a quadruple heart by-pass op, at 55 was going blind, at 60 had had toes amputated and could barely walk due to heart failure, at 65 a leg amputation, was totally blind and had kidney failure. He died of all the complications of diabetes.

I so wish he had been offered weight-loss in his 30s. He might still be with us.

I grew up in an environment of binge eating and was 15 stone at 17 years old and had no self belief or self worth. I lost 6 stone and my life began. I have never gone over 12 stone since. When my weight creeps up, I do something about it. So I have yo-yo dieted for 30 years in order to give myself the best chance of not getting diabetes.

Good luck. x

Mumsy - yes, Woolly Hugs are on Mumsnet, but also on Facebook. Google them - it's a good cause 😁

Rousette - yes that is the case. Always the nicest tasting things in life! Am I correct in thinking our bodies process the natural sugars in a different way though? I might have made that bit up!

West - yes Iv seen a few tv shows on bariatric surgery in the UK and know here is an extensive support system. It’s so ironic that I’m scared of an operation and not waking up yet don’t seem to be scared of binging myself to death!
I think a trip back to the GP to ask for some helpful input may be required.

Trinity - I think we should update this now and again with how we’ve progressed. Seems to be so many of us with the same struggles.
I have a question for you : what is the worst single thing about being obese? Or is it lots of small things?

Nose - I would of answered this with the fact I used to be a staff nurse. Whenever people asked what I did previously I avoid answering now and tend to say I worked at a hospital. If I say I’m a nurse I can see the disbelief.
I’m an educated woman, I’ve mastered (sort of) single parenthood successfully and have two amazing children. Iv survived a divorce, domestic violence, post natal depression etc.
Frustrates me that something as small/big like my weight is the one thing I don’t seem to be able to grasp control of.

Claire - bloody amazing well done! That’s my goal, to be where you are at. Overweight but not obese!
Your tips are fantastic thank you so so much. Love the mustard idea as I do enjoy a bit of strong english mustard. And the maggots/vomit idea too! Maybe disgust it out is the way forward. Well done on your loss.

Oldowl - love your name. I adore owls 🦉.
So I went to bed at 9pm. Felt weird in this weather with the sun shining through! I woke at 7.10am. Can’t remember the last time I had 10hr sleep! I feel good this morning. Up and sorted and off to see my Dad today with the kids.
Reading about your Dad bought a tear to my eye. I realise this is how my family feel about me, my Dad will say he doesn’t want to bury me and raise my kids for me.
I’m similar age now to when you said your Dad got diabetes.
Thank you for sharing that, I’m sorry for your loss.
This thread has turned into something I didn’t know it would when I started an AMA. But it’s been so inspiring and an eye opener and I feel quite empowered by all the amazing advice

Witch - I had a quick nosy. What an amazing cause. And some of the blankets on the webpage are absolutely beautiful. Very talented people. I have a few friends who can crochet so I will also mention it to them

I feel for you Mumsy. I’m a nurse, it gets you into really dysfunctional eating patterns doesn’t it? I’m overweight now but was obsese until about a year ago. Can I recommend Brain over binge by Kathryn Hansen? It’s a fantastic book written by a recovered Bulimic woman, she did her own research to overcome the bulimia. I am a binge eater (still varies but working on it) and although I didn’t really purge, it’s definitely helped me.

@Mumsyoftwo09 I'm so glad you've had a brilliant sleep and that has meant a no snacking night. Go for a walk today, the fresh air will really perk you up and make for another brilliant early night tonight.
The added bonus of any sort of needlework is that as well as keeping your fingers busy, you can't stop to snack because you have to keep your fingers clean!
I'm so heartened by all this good advice. I might follow some of it myself.
Can we keep this thread going to you update us all? That might help too. Knowing that others are cheering you on might help keep you motivated.

I've been working on overcoming my binging and overeating. I have been up to 19 stone, now at 16 stone.

I have recommended before but I really enjoy the Half Size Me podcast, it's a lot of really inspiring chats about losing a lot of weight (half your size). The woman who does it advocates "starting where you are", so starting by just recognising where you are then starting to make very small changes, if you have a fit bit track your steps then try and increase them. Another helpful piece of advice (to help beat diet mentality) is to add something in to your diet, rather than take away. Maybe some extra vegetables or fruit or try to add a healthy lunch?

Approach all changes with maintenance in mind, so ask yourself,"can I do this for the rest of my life".

Also, highly recommend the brain over binge book (I listen on audiobook), it didn't remove all binging for me but it's helped me recognise it and try to control it.

Mumsy gosh, I don't actually know. I don't like being so big but I don't hate it either. I have a fab OH and whilst I don't run marathons, I can still go out and do 5km on bikes with him and DD. Maybe just the embarrassment of sometimes struggling to fit into a chair with arms or at a booth in a restaurant (but you learn which places to avoid!)

OP, thank you for speaking up about your weight. I know some people say they are big and proud but it is not healthy and they know about it. You need to motivate yourself to lose weight for your children as unhealthy weight can have an impact on your health. Life is too short to neglect yourself. I am very sorry if I sound harsh as I am not trying to. I am not good at writing :)) May be tomorrow you will wake up and start your routine differently and don't forget to praise yourself. Sometime we don't see the results immediately but we need to be patient and remember it is for you and for your children.

Can I ask if you are scared/worried about T2 DM? My dad was/is overweight and was diagnosed T2 in his 40s, he has really suffered from the consequences including sight problems and amputations. That has been enough to scare me into eating healthily as I know I'm at risk, especially as I had GD in my second pregnancy.

How did you get on last night, Mumsy? Did you get another early night?

Would you consider joining a weight-loss group to get real-life support?

Faith - yes absolutely. The constant switch from days and nights with twilights thrown in is not good for healthy eating. And then the chocolates. The constant thank you chocolates that sit on the nurses station! When I was discharged from hospital after my 2nd child I got a relative to order me a huge basket of fresh fruit. The midwives and HCPs loved it.
Thanks for the book recommendation, I have a few to look at.
Well done for your weight loss.

Sci-fi - yes absolutely will update when (not if) I start losing!
Good point about the clean fingers too. Iv recorded a load of programs to the sky box and the cross stitch is due to be delivered today so when I don’t get an early night I shall be sat watching the box sets and stitching away.

Darwin - fantastic loss, well done. Do you feel a lot better for it?
That’s a really good point about seeing the small changes. I think it’s so easy to get caught up in how long a journey it is when you are double what you should be.
Love the tip about adding not removing food. If I learnt to binge on fruit or salad with the idea that I could have the chocolate afterwards I may feel too full! Could be a useful tool whilst I learn to deal with the bingeing.

Trinity - you sound incredibly fit! I wish I could run to the end of my garden path never kind 5k. Totally agree with the booths and seats etc!

One - thank you. No your being honest and sometimes that isn’t all roses but didn’t think you were being harsh.

Emma - yes that’s one of my biggest worries. I feel like as I escaped my 2nd pregnancy with no pre eclampsia, no GD, it was like cheating.
I could be T2 now, sometimes i convince myself Iv got the symptoms and then think I probably don’t yet but it’s just around the corner if I don’t change.
The effects of it are so life changing as you know with your Dad.

Oldowl - Morning! I couldn’t bloody sleep last night! Think cos I had slept so much the night before and also the heat seemed so muggy last night. But I did go to bed at 9pm again but then lay in bed watching TV in my tablet. Got all cosy with the fan on and a cold damp sheet over me, I weren’t moving and risking heating up again for no food last night!

Yes I defo would. My youngest starts pre school in September so being child free a few mornings a week gives me that freedom to go and join a group and be able to listen and concentrate properly.