I’m morbidly obese 26 stone AMA

[Mumsyoftwo09]

Such a hot topic at the moment with fat shaming etc.
Ask me anything

I am size 20 and just about fit into airline seats and am ok at theatre. Does it stop you doing these things?

@BaconCrispsGone Re your typical day's eating, I have an obese friend who's exactly the same and I always think 'why don't you have a proper breakfast and eat lunch?' , so why don't you?

Apologies for butting in on Mumsy's thread, but the simple answer for me to your question about breakfast and lunch is: I don't feel hungry then.

I usually eat one (normal!) meal a day and that's enough. If I eat 3 meals (say travelling for work with colleagues) then I feel absolutely stuffed full.

My lack of hunger is as inexplicable to those people who say they feel literally faint if they don't eat within an hour of waking etc

That is really sad that you don’t feel your family would do an activity with you to help you lose weight. Do you think they haven’t asked because they don’t want to upset you? Maybe if you suggested it during one of their “I’m worried about your weight” chats, they wold be more supportive?

Do you fit into a plane seat?

Do you feel that the obesity has left you with a deep emotional wound, if yes could you elaborate.

I often eat lots of rubbish at night. I've started going to bed early to avoid this. Could you do the same? Sleep instead of eat?

Very welcome Hoosier and happy.

Poo I will check out that book thank you! Well done to you, 3 stone in 3 months is absolutely amazing. Your so right, until you’ve experienced the struggles yourself you cannot truely understand. I do find a lot of people in life so the whole “just eat less”. If it was that simple nobody would have weight issues.

Bacon it’s a really good question and not one I’m sure I know the answer for. I think that during the day when I’m busy with my little one and then school runs etc I don’t overly think of food or see it as a priority. I don’t feel hunger at this point.
It’s the evenings that’s the issue. I have when attempting to become healthier ate more in the daytime, proper meals and yet I can still binge in the evening. It’s not about hunger as much perhaps more habit?

Shots yes absolutely 100% believe you become more invisible. The more weight I have gained the more unattractive I know I have become to others. I don’t make new friends anymore although I have a lot of lovely friends who have know me a long time. I find instances such as soft play or children’s activities/family days that other parents won’t give you the time of day, nobody says hello or smiles even if I make the first move so to speak whereas they used too.

It is ironic as seeing as I’m taking up more room in society now you would think I would be more visible!

I think my worst insult is when people crack a fat joke and then turn to me to say “no offence”. I didn’t take offence until you said that. I’m fat but I still have a sense of humour. I can laugh at a fat joke as much as the next porker!

What job do you do and does your weight impact on that?

Frosty - I’m single. Had 2 long term serious relationships/marriage and both my exes were slim.

Sing and ride - last holiday abroad was 10yr ago so haven’t attempted the plane seat.
Cinema and theatre is difficult. I always make sure I sit in the middle seat of both my kids so I’m not hip hugging the poor sod next to me.

Shots - excellent way of explaining it.

Zen - you know maybe I should. I think over the years we’ve fell into this they lecture and I get upset routine. Perhaps if I gave them a more positive way of helping they may like that and do so.

Liisha - erm Its Clearly had a huge emotional and physical impact on my life. It affects my planning in every area of my life from getting dressed to leaving the house.

Sci - that’s a really good way of dealing with it. Do you find your waking up super early though? I don’t know if I went to bed at like 9pm I would be awake at 4/5am.

Run I am unemployed at the moment.
Don’t want to out myself too much but I was a qualified nurse until 3yr ago. Crazy how much I know about the effects of obesity but yet can’t control my own demons.

I couldn’t go back to that job now. Partly shame.

I may possibly go back to studying to re-train in a different world.

I know all about bingeing! Once you start it's so hard to stop.

For me it was never about feeling hungry. Just trying to fill a void that I didn't acknowledge was there, which lead to self loathing, which in turn lead to more bingeing.

It's so easy for folk to say you are doing it out of habit, just don't do it etc. No shit sherlock, if it was that easy we'd all do it.

I find that I have now changed my mindset and don't feel the need to stuff myself with choc, crisps etc. A family member has serious health issues which gave me a wake up call. I need to be able to look after someone else, not be the one that needs looking after.

Make a Drs appointment and have a chat with them. I found that they helped me get the support I needed to help myself.

Good luck, it's not easy, but doable with a lot of work

Unemployed.... not a lot of money coming in then

How do you afford to binge?

Have you had proper medical support from counselling to get to the root of your binging and also a dietician?
Would you consider bariatric surgery?
I hope you achieve all your goals OP and you certainly can retrain or do whatever you put your mind too, nursing isn’t an easy career so you must be mentally and physically tough to have done it. Also qualified nurses are needed for non clinical or even office based jobs so that may be worth considering; training, insurance, management etc.

Do you ever feel like it’s got too far past the point of doing anything about so you might as well keep going with the binge eating etc? My mum is very overweight and has this mentality

@Mumsyoftwo09 I do wake up early but I'm able to go back to sleep. It's helping to break the habit of evening time snacking. Is there anything else you could do with your hands instead of snacking? I have a tapestry I've been working on for 14 years too. If you do wake up early do you think it would matter? It's not your normal eating time so perhaps you could use the early morning hours to do something different. Even perhaps exercise?

Do you feel your children are missing out on things? Do they get to do activities such as park, swimming etc as much as their friends?

Lucky- thanks for your supportive words. I’m glad you’ve found a way out of the vicious circle

Run - I’m actually ok financially. My ex husband earns an excellent amount so pays maintenance.
I will answer the question that’s there next - no I don’t claim any unemployment benefits. I find if I say I’m a stay at home mum people shout up how can I be when I’m single. However I label my employment status someone will find a fault.

Tic - no not had any dietician, counselling input. I did go to the Drs two yrs ago and asked for assistance. The extremely helpful GP said “you are rather large aren’t you. Have you tried eating less and moving more?”

Bariatric surgery I think I’m too scared of. I don’t think I could do that. It’s. Or something Iv considered. And it won’t deal with the emotional issues that lead to the bingeing.
Thank you for your kind words.

Frosty - yes sometimes I feel like that. But like once you’ve eaten one bad thing the whole week is to pot now so let’s carry on.

Sci-fi - very good point of using the early mornings for something more productive. I too love needlescraft so that could be a new project waiting to keep my hands occupied from eating.

Nerrsnerr - we do a lot I will admit. We have the theme park annual passes which are utilised well.
I have a 9yr old who generally goes on rides and activities unsupervised. I think it will become more of an issue as my 3yr old is coming of an age and height where they can go on stuff with an adult and that’s going to be a problem.
I think they will miss out more if I don’t sort it.

Swimming I take them in holidays etc. I do wonder if they are embarrassed at me in a swimsuit.

We visit the park regularly.

Do you worry about the health implications particularly as a single Mum? What do your children and their friends think of your size?

Binge eating is an eating disorder in the same way as anorexia. Sadly, someone of 5 stone will elicit sympathy, whilst someone of 25 stone will elicit scorn.

Talking therapy may help you deal with the underlying issues behind your disordered eating - and then maybe you can address a method of reducing your weight so your health isn't compromised.

Wishing you well.

What would be an ideal size for you to feel
Comfortable? You sound lovely and very honest x

When you said about binge eating in the evenings, when the kids are in bed ...... reminded me of a friend of mine who did the same. Ate until she was sick on some occasions. Well she joined Overeaters Anonymous and had now lost half her body weight. I didn't even know they existed but it's been a huge help to her to lose weight and keep it off.

why are you not doing anything about it?

Lego - yes I do. I have sleep apnea and wear a cpap mask. That’s the only health implication so far but I’m aware more are just lurking if I don’t lose weight.
I have just asked my 9yr old your question. They said “I think your lovely mummy but you could do with losing a bit of weight. My friends don’t think anything we’ve never discussed it”

Emma - thank you for your kind words. Absolutely about the anorexia. We would never ever say to an anorexic to just shove some food in their mouth and eat it.

Pink - thank you I was a size 16 for years from being late teens. Was very comfortable, felt healthy, felt sexy. I would of been classed as overweight still but obviously tons better than now. I think if I could be a size 16 Again i would feel amazing.

Big - I have never heard off them before?! I shall have a google! Well done to your friend, that’s an amazing achievement

Objection - if I knew the answer to that question I maybe wouldn’t have the problem.