I’m morbidly obese 26 stone AMA

[Mumsyoftwo09]

Such a hot topic at the moment with fat shaming etc.
Ask me anything

[OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo]

Just wondering how you see OP as I'm in a similar boat (and currently wondering if surgery is the only way out)

[fatgirlslimmer]

The surgeons who perform bariatric surgery operate on very obese patients every day, if someone is too dangerous to operate on they can use a band until they lose enough weight for it to be safe.

Planned surgery in a purpose built unit is different from emergency surgery which could be at huge risk with sleep apnoea and obesity. The referral process is long and thorough addressing the psychological and emotional effects as well as physical. Starting the process does not commit you to the operation.

I know quite a few people who have had surgery and none have regretted it. Most say it’s the best thing they’ve ever done.

[BatleyTownswomensGuild]

Thank you for having the courage to start this post, OP. It has genuinely made me challenge some of my beliefs.

I hope you can access help and make the changes you want to make. You deserve a better life than this.

[Straycatblue]

I know this thread is 2 year old

Hey Mumsyoftwo09

Ive been searching weight loss topics cos Im trying to lose weight myself and came across your post, I know its 2 years old but I wondered how you were doing and to thank you for doing such an honest thread about what your struggles were.

[fontofnoknowledge]

Mumsyoftwo09

First of all OP, diets don't work. ! It's just another form of disordered unrealistic eating.

You cannot exercise yourself slim. Without also radically changing your calorie intake.
Exercise makes your fitter. Not slimmer.

Move more/eat less is unhelpful to the morbidly obese. The strain on joints, insulin resistance ,gut flora and psychological/depressive illness related to obesity pay too higher part in preventing successful weight loss.

The reality is - when BMI reaches 40+ the chances of you returning to a healthy BMI of less than 25 by diet and exercise, is less than 1:650 people.(for women) . The chances of that tiny percentage sustaining that weight loss and remaining in the 'healthy' BMI range for 5yrs or more , is less than 85%. You see what an incredibly hard road that is and why the diet industry is so rich !.

There is a solution though, Gastric Bypass Or Gastric Sleeve are available to you on the NHS.It involves a referral by your GP to your areas Tier3 programme. This is a 6 or 12 month programme (depends on your area) of diet/psychology group sessions. A multi-disciplinary team day where you meet the surgeon, and discuss the operation that you want/suits you. Then a 16 week wait on the surgical list.
Privately you will pay 8-10k and will be operated on usually within a month.

4 months after your operation you would expect to have decreased your weight by 5 stone. (Given the starting weight /height you have provided on this thread) You will also most likely have been cured of Sleep Apnea. (Over 90%) . Your mobility would have improved dramatically which will speed up weight loss. After a year you would have lost 10stone and your self esteem and mental health will have taken a turn for the better, which contributes to further weight loss.

There is a lot of nonsense written about Bariatric surgery. It is NOT cosmetic surgery. Nor is it 'the easy option'.
It is life-saving surgery to people who will die early of obesity related diseases. The NHS doesn't fund this just so you can look better in your party clothes.

As with all surgery it carries a risk. But the risk of death 0.22% is equal to that of Gall bladder surgery, and significantly less risky than hip replacement or Caesarean section 0.40%. All of which pales into insignificance when you consider the percentage chance of dying early of a stroke, heart disease or diabetic complications.

Please do some research and consider this as a realistic way to save your life and to start enjoying it again. There is a way out . We have a long running thread for those pre-op/post op. Come and have a lurk/join in, ask questions. We were all where you are. X

[Cloudyapples]

Hope you’re doing ok op - I think you’re really strong for sharing this with us all

[YerAuntFanny]

Well done for starting this OP, you can make changes if you want to.

As a fellow binge eater (borderline bulimic if I'm honest as I would cram anything in until I vomited) my best piece of advice is to take it one day at a time, bingeing is never ideal but don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day every now and then. Just move on and try to have a good day the next.

Speak to your family if they bring it up again, tell them that it makes you feel worse and ask them if any of them can offer support to you. Even if it's just someone you can phone to avoid a binge, it really does help if you have someone to talk openly to!

At my heaviest I had a BMI of 43 weighing 17st 11.5lbs which at 5'3 is definitely not good. I told myself I was happy, in company I was the bubbly confident cliché but every little comment and stare made me scream inside and I'd go on a secret binge when I got the chance. I lost a bit of weight when I was pregnant as my consultant was pretty harsh and scared the life out of me plus I had serious morning sickness.

I decided to join a Slimming club (Slimming World for me but they all do the same thing really!) In May last year, now I'm 9.5lbs away from my target of 10st 12lbs and I really do feel so much better although I still have my hang ups but my biggest achievement is that I can fit in the bath comfortably and can tie my laces and breathe at the same time!

I'm going to be honest and say that I do still have occasional binge of I'm stressing but they're very few and far between as I have learnt strategies and have a support network for an hour or 2 every week and I know someone will always answer on the Facebook group or phone if I'm desperate.

It's not always an easy or quick journey but you ARE worth the effort! Good luck :)

[FancyADoughnut]

OP do you think a particular diet will work eventually?

I ask because I have finally got sick of the 'diet' mentality and am currently investigating how to make changes without following any diets or restricting any foods.

[TheNavigator]

Did she literally Zumba herself slimmer?

She says it was a huge part of her journey, which is why she now teaches Zumba. She is fab, we have all shapes & sizes in her class and the atmosphere is so positive and encouraging for everyone.

[GeorgeTheHippo]

Well done on not binging. And you can do it again tonight. You need to change your thinking habits as well as your eating habits. If you do eat something crappy, (NOT TONIGHT THOUGH) all is not lost. It's not the end of the world. You just ate something crappy. It doesn't detract from the nights you ate nothing after dinner. And it is the sum total of all those nights that will make the difference.

[Mumsyoftwo09]

Thank you. Did she literally Zumba herself slimmer?

[TheNavigator]

My Zumba teacher had lost 8.5 stone (which is more than I weigh) she is amazing, so positive & full of energy. It doesn't matter how you got there, you can change your stars. Good luck.

[Mumsyoftwo09]

Can’t weigh myself just yet as the only scales I have go up to 23st 8lbs exactly. So Iv a way to go before can monitor weight at home.
When I next pass boots or similar I shall pop in though.

Stop - I have quit fags and drinking myself so I know addictions can be overcome. I smoked 15 a day from mid teens to having my 1st baby at 26. I had one fag to get over the two blue lines shock and then never touched another since. That was nearly 10yr ago.
Booze I was a classic binge drinker. Thursday - Sunday party party. Once I became a single mum I drank occasionally as knew I needed to be there for the kids etc. When I started on medication for PND 2yr ago I have never touched another drop since.

I think it has a lot to do with the fact I can avoid alcohol and fags. I can’t avoid food.

Well done to you for overcoming all those issues, sometimes it takes something big to make something inside you snap and change.

Crabbity - that’s excellent money well spent by the sounds of it.
Brilliant how quick you recovered too, thanks for your answers it is something I think I do need to sit down and think about.
Would never be able to afford private but think the NHS would probably fund me at this size.

Oldowl - it’s going ok thank you! This is night seven since starting the thread and Iv binged once. I felt so ill too! Like proper sugar and salt overload. Sounds weird but other than that one night I have slept so amazingly well every night so that the first difference Iv noticed. I haven’t slept all night without waking a few times for years and this week have done ✅

Sarah - wow your brother has done amazing! That’s like two people lost. Was it like a heart disease/cardio diet from the hospital he followed? Yes I would definitely accept medical intervention now, just not sure how invasive. There comes a point where it would be stupid to not accept all help offered. I feel like Iv made a massive start tackling the binge monster stuff in the evenings so next to tackle is too get some weight off and then look at increasing fitness.

Crayola - thank you. So many good tips on this thread! Brushing teeth is good. I find it stops me wanting to eat if Iv brushes my teeth with minty strong toothpaste.

Pineapple - absolutely. It’s one of my biggest fears that I will somehow pass dysfunctional habits onto the kids.
I am the only overweight or obese member of my family but similar to you have children who eat healthy and are active. Im very aware the eldest who’s 9 is coming to an age where they can tail off on activity and puberty hits and they can gain weight.
Ironically I’m obsessed with their diet. Make sure they have 5-7 portions of F & V a day, plenty of calcium, enough fluid. Don’t reward or punish using food and if they are full never insist on them finishing every morsel on their plate.
I know they are two big things from my childhood. We had to finish our food regardless of when we were full. And we got bigger nicer meals for good behaviour.

I always think if only I treated my own body with the same respect and care I have for my children’s bodies then I would be so healthy!

[PineappleFace]

This is a great thread. You have been very honest with your answers.

My question is - do you worry about your DC becoming overweight as they get older? This is my biggest fear with my 4yo dd (she's a healthy weight at the moment, eats well and very active). Everyone in my family is overweight apart from my Dad, and I am overweight too but the lightest in my family. Not hugely (I am 12.5st and a size 14/16) but I have been bigger in the past (largest was 16st). I've always been overweight since being a teenager and I've been 'on a diet' or thinking about dieting for the past 12 years at least. I do not want this for my dd but I have an unhealthy relationship with food and I really worry that she will take after me and also become overweight when she's older. Is this something you fear too?

[crayoladreamz]

I’ve just read this whole thread start to finish.

OP you are amazing! 4 nights without binging? That’s bloody brilliant from a standing start. Even if you’ve fallen off the wagon or anything since then, just shows you can do it!

Going to bed early is genius. I am going to steal that idea as my weakness is the evenings too. Brushing our teeth helps too as it stops you wanting food

Please don’t stop posting!

[P00ka]

Hope you feel that you're making headway, figuring it out.

[Oldowl]

How's it going, Mumsy?

[CrabbityRabbit]

And well done on not bingeing!

Eating a fuckton of chocolate was my biggest downfall. I could easily eat 2000+ extra calories of chocolate in the evening after a days OKish (not great) eating.

Now I try and avoid sugar generally but will have some occasionally. I have found that eating too much chocolate or ice cream makes me feel sick. I can't have more than one scoop without feeling rough. Enough to put me off having it regularly!

[CrabbityRabbit]

I went private as I couldn't be arsed jumping through all the NHS hoops. I think my issues were just liking food too much and not knowing when to stop so didn't really need the psychological support that many do. It can be common for instance to develop another addiction after surgery if issues are left undealt with but I don't think that will be a risk for me.

My BMI was 48 which is well within NICE guidelines for funding but with the cutbacks I would have been very unlikely to get approved unless I was bigger or had comorbidities. I am healthy in general and only late twenties.

The surgery cost £7,995 with a £150 initial consultation fee. That covered everything including all my follow up appointments with the surgeon and dietician.

I recovered well. Spent two nights in but could have gone home after one probably. Was a bit sore like had been kicked in the stomach for about a week. Just moved slowly and pressed a cushion against my stomach when bending or sitting down/getting up. Went back to the office after two weeks and could have done it in a week and a half.

I went to the gym after 2 months and go 3-5 times a week. I am a great deal fitter than I was and exercise has certainly helped. I have lost more weight than average and the surgeon was very pleased. I put this down to exercise and being relatively young.

[TooExtraImmatureCheddar]

Yay for you with no binging! Go for it!

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

I ask (sorry you will get the stories ) as I NEVER a thought I could stop
The fags
The booze
The over eating

And it was prolonged back pain , vanity and a couple of deaths that made me change

I think one small triumph (fags) showed me actually I can !

Just believe in yourself / cheesy as fuck I know

As honestly binning the fags was the hardest

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

Convinced I meant to say

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

My only question is why are you so conv Need you have no willpower ? You
Sound intelligent and eloquent

But why do you think making a change is impossible ?