Was the OW now the DW - AMA

[Ivgotasecretcanyoukeepit]

I was the OW now the DW so AMA if you’re interested.

mustbetime no not since we were official but yes before then.

He wanted to get married not me I would have happily remained unmarried as yes I am financially independent but what can I say it felt right so here we are.

Graphista of course I wasn’t pregnant before my husband ended his previous marriage.

I never gave an ultimatum far from it. He was free to make his choice to either stay in his marriage or to be single and see if we would work.

Wow all this hatred for the OP! AMA is for learning about others lives not for judging and projecting your own moral stance. I find it interesting to see behind the scenes, not get my knickers in a twist. Do you all want an award for being so high and mighty? Show some tolerance and understanding even if you don't agree.

So how long between

You telling him it was over and him actually leaving his wife

And between him leaving his wife starting to see if it would work between you two?

He told his wife he wanted to end their marriage a few days after I told him it was over.

We then started dating within a month.

AMA is for learning about others lives not for judging and projecting your own moral stance.

It helps to learn about someone's life if they're forthcoming about answering the questions that they invited, and don't insult people for asking them.

Does your 5 years together include the 18 month affair? How long after you started dating did you meet his DD/ move in/ marry?

Ayn are you interpreting this thread to suit you again?
I was being subjected to personal attacks and insults before I ever replied in a similar vein but I forgot because I was the OW I should just take it.

See what I mean?

No 5 years doesn’t include 18 months.

I wasn’t having an affair for 18 months it was 6 months.

Met his daughter after 6 months
Moved in just after a year
Married a few years later

No I don’t see what you mean at all.

I thought you wouldn't.

I really don't know what this 'agenda' of mine is supposed to be, or what on earth about this thread is supposed to 'suit' me. But don't worry, I'm not asking what you mean. I don't care.

I’m not giving my children’s ages as that is to specific as I said up thread. I don’t see what relevance that has anyway really.

Do you think giving your specific kids ages is going to identify you - I doubt it very much - what's the issue if it did anyway - is your story only as long as you remain anonymous ?

I think your kids ages are pretty relevant

Met his daughter after 6 months is this 6 months into the five years?
moved in just after a year - were you pregnant at this stage?
Married a few years later - were you pregnant with no 2 here?

Just noticing you haven't answered any of my questions - why is this?

I wasn’t having an affair for 18 months it was 6 months

You have said you wee having an emotional affair for 12 months prior to a physical relationship for 6 months

Being as you worked for the same company did you report to this director? Did your emotional affair include lunches out/ after work drinks etc to "talk about work" but were really to pursue your relationship? What did you talk about that would put your relationship into "emotional affair" category as opposed to "professional colleagues"

Neither have you answered my question: what do you think of the fact that it's mainly women who are much younger in age-gap relationships and men who are the older partners, old enough to be nearly fathers to their partners.

You don't really want to be asked anything, do you OP?

You just want us to think you're special because you landed a man who women with any sense of self-worth wouldn't touch with a barge pole.

If my DH did have an affair, I know I'd be telling the OW they were much better suited. I'm bemused that you think this is a compliment.

*I was like a thunderbolt and I was completely smitten. Sounds pathetic but we connected instantly.

I had that feeling with a married man, I actively distanced myself from him. As far as I know he is still with his wife.

How is goady OP still here?? shrug

I'm still waiting to know how the OP has managed to become so senior level in her company, when she's only in her 20s and has two young children.

@wow because she's shagging one of the directors. Others are probably made to promote her as not to fall foul of the director. I did ask OP what she felt her biggest achievement, outside of the relationship, was but she's been unable to answer.

I had that feeling with a married man, I actively distanced myself from him. As far as I know he is still with his wife.

I did too. He actively distanced himself from me, and as far as I know he is still with both his wife and his mistress. :)

I find these threads very interesting.

Andromeoda, I did originally put "apart from shagging the director" but thought I'd remove it!

Have you got a contingency in case the relationship fails? A nest egg? A retreat? Do you have details of all your joint finances?

I would still like to know if you check you husband's phone OP . But you're not going to admit it, are you?

I have worked extremely hard to reach the level I am at currently. I have also made sacrifices along the way, it has nothing to do with my husband. I’m ambitious and I know exactly what I want.

Yes I have a nest egg. My husband pays for everything so I save my own salary, I also have money from parents etc. He is very very very generous so I know I have no problems on that front. I know all of our financial details. I also have my own home that I owned before I moved in with my husband. Yes I know this becomes a marital assets but we had an agreement drawn up legally.

No I don’t check his phone.