Was the OW now the DW - AMA

[Ivgotasecretcanyoukeepit]

I was the OW now the DW so AMA if you’re interested.

By the way I'd say anything and everything I've said on here in RL!

Actually I find the responses hilarious. I find it hard to believe that an anonymous thread can get so many people worked up

This says exactly who you are! Your time will come darling!

We are completely suited. Even his exDW says that.

Her saying you deserve each other is not the same thing

@Santa - why would I want or need affirmation from an Internet forum?

I have already stated that yes I felt guilty and yes I would have preferred if my husband was single.

@TheMonkeyMummy - I have already answered those questions

@Andro - no it is not OW 101. It’s what you want to believe.

@Ophelia - resorting to personal attacks because I’m not giving you the answers you want? Is your life that sad that you spend your evenings attacking people online while hiding behind your keyboard?

@Ayn - again posting for your own agenda. I have answered a lot of questions that people have asked. How can me posting on an Internet forum recapture the thrill of my relationship?

I think this thread is the most exciting thing to happen to you since you have continually posted on it.

@Kumanaay - I have already addressed why I said that. Read the thread instead of just being fixated on one little comment.

@Santa - I have already addressed this previously. If my DSD needs to know how our relationship started then it will be a conversation with all of us. Her mum has no interest in her knowing nor have we. What relevance does it really have? Or are you hoping it would hurt my stepdaughter?

I’m my opinion it could be because older men are more self assured? Confident? Are those acceptable answers?

A friend doesn’t judge they support. I have already said I knew it was wrong.

Why would your post hurt me, do you think you’re that important?

@Soap - he regrets not ending his marriage sooner.

@green - I thought you weren’t going to respond anymore?

You clearly are invested with these paragraphs upon paragraphs of crap about how my marriage will fail as I’m the evil other women and I owe the cheated wives an apology.

I accept I shouldn’t have said that the child should be over it. It is purely circumstantial. my DSD has two parents and one step parent who are all very involved collaboratively with her wellbeing and upbringing. I agree that it isn’t always the case when a marriage ends.

Can you give my specifics where my answers are guarded?

You are entitled to your opinion yes but you are basing your opinion, not that it counts on a few pages of responses on a forum.

@Dontdrink - she didn’t say we deserved each other though, did she? She said we are better suited.

Why did you start this thread? Why be goady and fight with MN?

A lot of woman's lives have been ripped apart by affairs, why are you here OP?

@Ivgotasecretcanyoukeepit I can't see those answers. Please can you answer them again?

@smile - I am responding to personal attack’s or do you think I should just not respond to those?

The same reason you probably are.

To suggest that anyone over their 40’s is past their prime is disgusting.

They are past their prime though 🤷‍♀️
It's not 'disgusting' to say that.
I'm in my 40s - I'm perfectly happy with myself & my life yet I happily acknowledge I'm past my prime.

It’s very easy to make personal attacks behind the safety of your keyboard but I very much doubt any of you would ever say those things to someone in real life.

Everything I say on here, I'd absolutely say to someone in person.
Why wouldn't I?

You started an 'ask me anything' and then got a shit on when people dared to ask you stuff.
Perhaps you should have caveated with 'ask me anything from a pre-approved list of questions'

@Ivgotasecretcanyoukeepit

I repeat
Exactly how many years have you been married?
How long were you together before you got married?
What signs would you look out for that might suggest he was cheating?
Are you planning on starting a family?

Thank you

You need to get off the internet now OP and see to your husband ....or you never know , he may be already planning his next conquest !

🤣🤣🤣

I asked why you started this thread? To argue and cause hurt?

@daisy - I didn’t get a ‘shit on’ when people have asked questions. I have answered plenty of questions.
I don’t think it’s acceptable to personally attack someone on an online forum because you don’t agree with their choices .
Yes I did something im not proud of but it certainly doesn’t make me an evil human being.

I didn’t get a ‘shit on’ when people have asked questions.

Yeah you did 😂
A great big massive pouty foot-stampy strop
🤣🤣🤣

@Daisy -
I didn’t get a ‘shit on’ when people have asked questions.

Yeah you did 😂
A great big massive pouty foot-stampy strop
🤣🤣🤣

Are you 12?

I also see you ignored the rest of my response as like other posters you have to resort to personal attacks to get your point across as you can’t take it that your husband left you for someone else.

It's actually quite funny looking online and seeing how many of the affair stereotypes have been stated by the OP.

OP, I asked what your biggest achievement was outside of this man. Would you mind answering?

Also, what makes you think that you're so different to all of the other women he has had affairs with?

Lol at 'my husband leaving me for someone else' 😂

He didn't!

I booted him out, he was distraught & begged me to get back with him - I wouldn't & so he crawled back to the ow who he's since cheated on several times & now he's left her for the latest willing chump.

He's said himself he'd be back with me in a heartbeat if I'd have him, but I have way more self respect than to put up with that shit.

I've an excellent divorce settlement & we continue to have a good friendship & coparenting relationship.

You asked me if I'm 12 - I rather think it's you who is acting like a petulant child tbh - I'm a grown woman who's completely at peace with my life & like who I am.
Unlike you.

@Daisy -I don’t believe you. Your bitter posts on this thread indicate otherwise.

I'm not bitter at all - why would I be?

Live is there to live, why would I waste my time & energy being bitter?

As others have said, you seem exceptionally insecure - entirely defined by your relationship status & an apparent need to feel like a 'winner' (you 'won', other women have 'lost their husbands')

I didn't 'lose' my husband, I chose to leave him, much to his dismay.

Anyhoo, I wouldn't look at him twice now tbh if I saw him for the first time - he's well past his prime & is starting to look like an old man.

I definitely got his best years - he was a proper hottie in his 20s/30s...

I believe she is real - I think she has to be deluded to justify her life to herself - she has to come up with a good enough story to be able to live with herself - we all know that you don't get involved with a married man - I bet she did too before she got involved. But something was triggered in her - and her selfishness overtook everything else

Another question for you if you expect us to accept that you are not the "wicked stepmother" why do you refer to us as the "ex wives" club - full of bitterness - I think you have listened to too many stories if you are as intelligent as you want us to believe you know the truth!

Maybe the shine is already coming off your marriage - with two young kids under 5 ( I'm presuming here because again you haven't answered these questions) your focus must be pretty much on these fulltime - it would have to be to be the good mother you claim to be - so that means less focus on your DH - he's not beginning to look elsewhere already is he?

Maybe your ego was flagging - maybe you needed a boost and that's why you came on here thinking you would get support from others in your situation? You misjudged this so wrong - the tide has turned - chickens are coming home to roost - time for you to wake up and smell the coffee!

Op your right I did say I wasn't going to respond but I changed my mind see this is the first chance I've had to delve into the mind of a RL OW and so far as many others have said you are the walking talking epitome!

Had you been less brazen I might have been willing to accept that sometimes these can be true love - but thinking about it love is a pure sentiment - I doubt it can come from a place of so much destruction!

What was your relationship like with you father Op?

Anyway I think this thread is the start of your own destruction! I would expect you to be hurt by some of these comments on here as you are human! Please don't take this out on your dsd now will you - you have to be very very strong to realise that your pain is your own creation - do not look for anyone else to blame here other than yourself!

Paragraphs upon paragraphs of crap - another statement that confirms you have no idea what love is - why don't you try and learn something from the women on here who have bothered to continue to engage with you - not out of bitterness but probably trying to save you from yourself!

But carry on -will you have the guts to come back and say you were warned but chose not to listen - right now you do not believe this is going to happen to you - me neither I never thought it would happen to me and I too thought I was the exception to the rule when everyone told me there would be an OW! I wasn't ready to deal with it it had to come out when I could but I have still be knocked to the floor many a time - it is 5 years roughly since your affair - has the ex wife only just got on her feet?

It was 5 years yesterday when my MIL died - the catalyst to it all! I am not over it - my kids are not over it - I have to get them to 18 - this gives me another year - this is 6 years - not 6 years of living but 6 years of battle and surviving - 6 years of trying to protect my kids from the fallout despite not being able to get myself out of bed some days - I expect my Ow thinks I am financially ok just like you do because she has to believe this to be anything other than evil.

We can all fill our heads with bullshit - but it's not real and you will not get away with it - one way or another you will come face to face with yourself head on - everything you have said here will be reflected back to you to deal with- watch out for the ride!

I think that if someone goes keeps repeatedly telling everyone how amazing their relationship is, how happy they are, how happy everyone else is for them etc.....is, usually, very unhappy.

You see it on Facebook all the time. I recognise the OP, from a few threads where she appears to remind people that she is happy and it was all worth it in the end. I suspect she isn't extremely happy, as she says, or the relationship is maybe getting a bit stale. She loves her dh, but the excitement is gone and posting about it here gives her an ego boost and reminds her of all the exciting feelings from the beginning.

I do also agree that OP is hypocritical. She keeps objecting to stereotypes of OW. But happy to put people, who refuse to be away to her point of view, in a g4ouo of bitter ex wives.

Op, I am divorced. Best thing that ever happened to me. I left exh. He didn't cheat. Neither did I. I have bought my own house, have a career I enjoy and fits round my son, love being financially independent, am happy with my partner who lives a 2 min drive away (or 10 min walk). I am generally very happy. Me and Dp have our ups and downs, it's not perfect. Because that doesn't exist.

I am not jealous of you. I actually feel a bit sorry for you and you seem very young and naive.

@Ayn - again posting for your own agenda. I have answered a lot of questions that people have asked. How can me posting on an Internet forum recapture the thrill of my relationship?

Well it can't, can it? That's what you've realised and it's why you've turned so shitty. You thought everyone would be all 'Oh my God, an OW, but the husband left his wife and actually MARRIED HER! What a rare and exotic creature! She is fascinating! Do tell us all about the only time your relationship was interesting!'

It hasn't gone that way, and that's why you're spitting bile and being gorgeous on the internet (yes, on the internet I am also Angelina Jolie).

I would say it's merely pathetic, but you actually find human suffering 'hilarious' and deny childhood trauma, which makes this one of the most hateful threads I've ever seen.

I think this thread is the most exciting thing to happen to you since you have continually posted on it.

Wow, what a clanger. I don't know how you think of these devastating ripostes. Please give me something else to chew on and answer the only question I want to ask you: why did you start this thread?

OP, stop the @ business. Just put the posters name without the @ .
The @ won’t alert them as you aren’t using the full posting name, and some other ouster with the shortened name will be getting loads of unwanted alerts.