Was the OW now the DW - AMA

[Ivgotasecretcanyoukeepit]

I was the OW now the DW so AMA if you’re interested.

You doubt your DH will have an affair behind your back as he made the effort to divorce and be with you. How about sex though? Surely he is capable if meaningless shags with others. He's happy to lie, likes the excitement and something different. Are you ok with that? Surely there was an overlap of him sleeping with exdw and you?

@Ayn - again interpreteing my replies for your own agenda. You seem overly invested in this thread and my marriage.

You told me to ask you anything. I am asking why you chose to start this thread, given how hurtful it will be to so many people on here. You still have not answered my only question.

I do find how abusive some of the posts are hilarious. How can people get worked up over a thread on a forum.

You really think that's what they're upset about? Do you want us to believe that you are stupid?

(Those are rhetorical questions, by the way. They don't count. There's still only one question I'm really asking you, and you won't answer it.)

@Andro

Again another poster who is interpreting my responses for their own agenda.

How do you know my husband will cheat with a another 20 something? Because mumsnet tells you so?

I’m financially secure.

I have plenty of female friends. What has that got to do with anything?

Again misinterpreted what I posted.

No I don’t post memes on social media of about how amazing my husband is - again irrelevant

I never once said I worked for my husband.

How can we be misinterpreting your answers when you don't give them?

You told us to ask you anything.

I think we have picked enough holes in your story for any decent person to accept and back off.
However, if you had been anything nice to start with, you wouldn't have posted here.
Hope you get a taste of your medicine some time. You have caused a lot of hurt here and in real life.

@Ayn - I can post what I want to on an Internet forum I don’t have to give a reason. what do you not understand about that?

Why are you posting on this thread?

As I have said before the title of this thread clearly states what it is about if it will cause you upset then don’t read or post on it.

Of course I understand why people would be upset but if I wouldn’t read or post on a thread that would cause me upset.

@santa - picked enough holes in my story? Ok give me specifics?

@Ayn - I have gave plenty of answers.

@Fat - why are you posting again if it is causing you hurt? No one is forcing you to reply.

As you said AMA

I have questions.

Exactly how many years have you been married?
How long were you together before you got married?
What signs would you look out for that might suggest he was cheating?
Are you planning on starting a family?

You came here hoping to get something to make you feel better about what you have done. You won't get it here.

OP - not because Mumsnet tells me so but basic human behaviour does. It's OW 101, the younger OW, the older boss, the wife who he doesn't have much sex with and probably doesn't understand him/he has so much more passion with (affair no. 1, 2, 3 ad infinitum). I'm sure he spoke of being neglected and how the connection/sex etc. with you was so much deeper.

I'm actually starting to think this is a thread for a novelist because surely no-one would be that unaware?

You need to get off the internet now OP and see to your husband ....or you never know , he may be already planning his next conquest !

The OP 's grammar is not good enough for her to be. DM journalist, least of all a novelist.

@Santa - why does she need to know right now when she is a child?

I answered that to me it’s irrelevant my husbands age wasn’t a deciding factor in my relationship. I cannot answer for other women why not start a thread as there is plenty of women on here with older husbands/partners.

I think it is insulting to state people are past their prime in regards to looks when they are 40+ - do you not?

If you would drop a friend then you were never a real friend in the first place.

You sound so bitter.

@Ayn - I can post what I want to on an Internet forum

Yes I know. You've already said that.

I don’t have to give a reason. what do you not understand about that?

I understand that you don't HAVE to give a reason but...

Why are you posting on this thread?

Because you told me to ask you anything. You initiated this entire dialogue. So, after you told me to ask you anything, I had a think and decided that the only thing I wanted to ask you was why you decided to start this thread.

Not whether you had the right to. Not whether anyone was going to force you to answer. Just why you chose to.

You still haven't told me.

I can only assume that the answer isn't as hilarious as the pain of devastated ex wives and single mothers.
.

Waves flag coooooeeeee
@Ivgotasecretcanyoukeepit

I asked questions! Genuine questions! I am fascinated!

Put your money where your mouth is then op and answer my questions

I am not invested in your relationship whatsoever - I couldn't really give a stuff but as a wife who has been cheated on and who's kids have been through hell it was your claim that they should be over it by now that got my goat.

What you chose not to say gives far more away about your relationship than you think - your answers are guarded, they are not complete and honest because you are not complete and honest - I am not angry at you I am angry that wives that get cheated on are still portrayed as being bitter - and where these women are being given a hard time I am going to be right there with them!

If you had a heart -something that you need to be able to love - instead of calling us pathetic - you would show some sensitivity to these women - for what we have been through even though it is nothing to do with you - but you don't - this is what I meant when I said say sorry - you know the sort of thing you would say to someone if they had just lost someone - you would say I'm sorry - this doesn't mean you caused their pain - this shows you can understand the pain - unfortunately you caused pain and still have no comprehension or remorse for what you did and others who have been through this!

In my mind this does not make you human - humans understand this and will try and offer some compassion to those suffering -all you do is seem to get a kick out of the suffering and it seems to justify even more that you have found true love - if anything you are displaying pretty narcisstic traits!

As I've said you reap what you sow - we will all have healed by the time your life starts unravelling - if you are lucky some may offer you compassion others may just say "told you so!"

Seriously, people shouldn't start threads inviting the internet to ask them anything if they don't actually want to be asked anything.

OP started this thread to recapture some of the thrill of her affair because it's been years now and nobody gives a shit any more. She's admitted that she finds the pain of betrayed wives 'hilarious' and claims not to understand why people would be affected by her thread (which begs the question of why she started it, if she really thought nobody was going to give a shit about it - but I've already asked her why she started it, and she's not saying).

I'd keep this thread going if I were you, OP. It is clearly the most exciting thing that's happened to you since your relationship went legit.

I'm still pmsl at the Italian comment.

Are you this goady in real life? You don't have any friends really do you? Unless they're as arrogant and blind as you are.

I didn't say she needs to know n ow. In fact, I specifically asked, when I asked this the first time, what will you tell her when she grows up. So you still haven't answered this.

For the second question, I didn't ask whether it was relevant to you or m it because it's obvious that a lot is irelevant to you. I asked what could be the reason, in your opinion, that it's usually much younger women and much older men?

And as for people looking past their line in 40s, tell whatever you feel like. Just think of this when he is reaching 80 and you have just crossed 60.

I said I would drop a friend after having a word with them. If they can't even understand that they are doing something this wrong, they don't understand friendship anyway most likely. So no point.

I am not bitter. I am just touching some nerves there. That's bound to hurt you.

OllyBJolly You’re right it’s not that old actually lol. I see what you mean though about the possibility of cheating and then having your time wasted.

I think she's a journo. Too deluded to be real

Ayn
You have summed it up so well.

Does your DH have any regrets about how he handled it? After all, he was the one who broke his vows, not you?