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AMA

I have Dissociative Identity Disorder - AMA.

171 replies

Hawkie · 07/07/2018 16:34

As the title says...

OP posts:
QuackPorridgeBacon · 16/07/2018 08:49

Do questions like this ever scare you a bit?

They scare me and I don’t have the disorder. Genuinely terrified at the thought.

ZispinAndMushroomTea · 16/07/2018 09:02

Do questions like this ever scare you a bit?

They don't scare me. I just embrace the mess. The alters are all part of you, the "you" that you really are, is ALL of them. But I have my Adult Persona, which is the person married to my husband and getting on with the life of a 38-year-old, and owning the name on my IDs.

The scariest aspect of the mess is that some of my alters occasionally think that if I killed myself, they'd be free to exist properly. When I'm in a confused way, that's not a good train of thought to entertain.

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune · 16/07/2018 11:50

Thanks so much for sharing.

I know one person who faked DID but think she had other severe MH problems. She would voluntarily switch personalities and added new ones when she liked - it was obvious she wasn't legit.

I had a college friend with a Mum with it. She had 2 main personalities - the 'real' her that was there about 80--# of the time and the child who was 5-8 can't remember exact age. Friend said she loved her Mum so much but feared for her Mum when she was the child. When she did her visits sometimes she had to take the child to the cinema or she would get upset. The child got very distressed if someone said my friend was her daughter.

It's such a shame you don't have many close friends. I understand why, but I think friends should get to know and recognise the personalities.

Nquartz · 16/07/2018 11:53

ZispinAndMushroomTea

How does your husband feel about the others? Do you have children?

ZispinAndMushroomTea · 16/07/2018 12:29

How does your husband feel about the others? Do you have children?

We don't have kids.

I don't think I'm in a similar situation than a full-blown DID sufferer would be, in that it's very seldom I fully switch as such, as far as I know. Most of those times (when I don't remember anything at all etc) are times when I'm acutely distressed, and from what husband tells me, it's not so much that he's "meeting a different personality", but that I'm just incredibly scared, say and do weird stuff, and he can't get any contact with me. I think he finds it quite scary himself, but just tries to be calming and stop me from actively harming myself etc. So while I might have an inner voice afterwards make comments about how scared they were, my husband won't necessarily have had any experience of it being anyone but me - just in a state!

The most common occurance of this is that he wakes up in the night without me, and finds me naked in the bathroom, sometimes huddled on the floor, sometimes in a cold bath. He probably has a bad night of it, but I won't have much of a memory afterwards - if at all. But for some reason he never really likes to talk about it afterwards.

Alexcia21 · 16/07/2018 15:35

Just to add to the conversation; I was shown this thread to me by a family member, and I wanted to say that I have been diagnosed with DID too and can relate a lot to what has been said so far. One of my struggles with one of my “girls” (I call them my girls as they are all female at the minute and it’s easier to talk about when in public) is that she doesn’t believe we have DID and so reading this has really helped us to realise that other people with the disorder struggle with the same day to day things as we do! So Thankyou to all of you who have commented with your experiences, and thanks to all those with questions as I don’t know about anyone else but I find it interesting myself when people ask me questions - it helps me try and think more logically about it!

QuackPorridgeBacon · 16/07/2018 15:46

The scariest aspect of the mess is that some of my alters occasionally think that if I killed myself, they'd be free to exist properly.

Wow, I just can’t get my head around it. I want to know what it feels like or how they are heard, if they are seen etc but how on earth would anyone describe that? It all sounds so scary but I guess if it’s all you know it wouldn’t be?

QuackPorridgeBacon · 16/07/2018 15:50

I don’t feel scared hearing about children identities though, I feel very concerned actually and find it fascinating (hoping that isn’t insensitive) that someone as an adult can become a child and not really know what is happening, and somehow stay safe. It must be so difficult.

darkriver198868 · 16/07/2018 19:06

I was going to start a thread about this but, you beat me to it OP.
I have a provisional diagnosis of DID.
@wickedlady
I wanted to answer this question. I go along with theory of Structural Dissocation that states that with DID there is no main personality. We are all part of the whole.

yawning801 · 16/07/2018 20:20

You are all so strong, I applaud you all.

ChaChaChaCh4nges · 16/07/2018 20:57

Please may I add some questions?

Several people with DID have mentioned that their identities have changed over time. (Alexcia said that her team are all girls at the moment; the OP said she has had fewer than 8 identities in the past.)

My question is: can you feel/sense when new identities come into being or old ones end (I’m not sure that’s the right word at all but I can’t think of a better one)? If not, how do you know when a new identity exists? Or have “new” ones always existed but just not interacted before?

Can you tell what triggers the emergence of a new identity?

I wish all of you (in every sense!) peace and love.

unweavedrainbow · 16/07/2018 21:02

For me, new "parts" (I call them "parts" as we are all part of a whole) come into existence after something distressing has happened. All my parts can be linked to distinct trauma incidents. As lots of my trauma happened when I was a child I have a lot of child alters which can make daily life difficult.

ZispinAndMushroomTea · 16/07/2018 23:31

I feel very concerned actually and find it fascinating (hoping that isn’t insensitive) that someone as an adult can become a child and not really know what is happening, and somehow stay safe.

I think sadly many people with DID won't always be able to keep themselves safe always? Or at least they will find themselves in really scary situations where the child part is totally unable to cope? I guess that's happened to me, but it's hard to say with amnesia... People in general seem reluctant to tell you things about yourself you can't remember, I find.

I have in some point developed a helpful disembodied voice to guide me through some tricky bits. I think it was originally an internalised image of a real adult woman i knew, who helped me, but now it's just my own "helper". So often if I'm out and about and suddenly not exactly switch, but get very confused and feel helpless and don't know what to do, the voice in my head reminds me to breathe, to walk, how to get home etc and talks me through it kindly. It's great.

can you feel/sense when new identities come into being or old ones end (I’m not sure that’s the right word at all but I can’t think of a better one)? If not, how do you know when a new identity exists? Or have “new” ones always existed but just not interacted before?

I think for me it's a case of them having been in the background and me not paying attention to them before, if that makes sense?

I don't have a huge host of parts, and I'm not entirely sure how many to count, as many aren't full personalities in any sense, but just little fragments. Eg. there's a little girl part that doesn't speak and just randomly hangs around at the back of my mind, accompanied with a sense of worry. And a slightly older little girl who pops in my head occasionally when childhood trauma events are either talked about or I've had a flashback or a nightmare, and is just this pitiful embodiment of all things victimhood. I don't have a sense of personality to them, so do I count them as parts?

But I actually started out with lots and lots - not parts but "imaginary people" when I was a child - people I imagined around me like a normal kid's imaginary friends, I guess, who were always around, and I could fluidly switch between feeling like I "was" one of them. They were around more or less consciously until my early to mid teens (although of course I'd learnt not to talk to them out loud or let people know about them by then), before I guess going into hiding inside my head. I have no idea if this is how it is for anyone else - just how it was for me. So when a "new" part has made itself more known to me, it's actually usually been an old one.

They all seem to represent different things for me. Not just trauma. One is definitely the carrier of all of our anger. One is all about hopelessness, self-soothing and depression. One is an exceedingly super positive health enthusiast, and so on. I've been more easily in touch with these ones than the trauma stuff. That's still mostly hidden I think, and the trauma parts rarely say a word in my head - they just channel the horror of it.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 16/07/2018 23:46

ZispinAndMushroomTea Oh it sounds so scary. The being a child and some holding anger and thoughts of being free if the main was to die is so surreal. I just don’t know how you deal with it, I’m probably imaging it a lot worse than it is. Have you ever seen it portrayed or written about anywhere that’s really accurate? If I’m asking too many questions or saying something wrong or insensitive please let me know.

ijustwannadance · 17/07/2018 02:21

Wow, you lot are amazing. So incredible what the human brain is capable of.

Do you actually see them in your mind or just hear them? Or is it more like a sense they are there?

You said you don't want the alters to ever go but if therapy to deal with childhood trauma helped your adult brain better deal with stresses, is there a chance they would fade away if they were no longer needed to protect you?

CakeFlowers

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 17/07/2018 08:02

Do your identities all like you?
Is that a stupid question?

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 17/07/2018 08:06

Also, this may have already been asked, is it possible to allow a certain identity to come through. Say, if you know you are in a certain situation an identity could cope with better, is it possible to allow her/him to take over?

Alexcia21 · 17/07/2018 08:23

do your identities all like you?

Personally no - one of my girls hates me that much she self harms and tries to break me up with my long term boyfriend; but she’s calmed a bit since then so isn’t as bad; but she still holds grudges against me!!!!

is it possible to allow a certain identity to come through

Yes and no for me... it is possible sometimes; but it depends how cooperative my girls are feeling - if they don’t want to help me out then they won’t come out, and I also can’t just switch between them with ease - my partner and my therapist can ask to talk to a certain girl but they won’t always be the one who comes out, and I have trouble coming back to myself after switching, for example; one of them might come out for a while, then my partner will ask for me to come back and a different girl might come out instead of me.

Alexcia21 · 17/07/2018 08:29

do you actually see them in your mind or just hear them?

I have what I call a house in my head, and we all live in that house (except a few who have had to live in an apartment block next door because we ran outta rooms haha) and so I can sort of see them, but it’s mostly hearing them in my perspective. I know what some of them look like but that’s from them giving descriptions of themselves. For me it’s more like I can sense them there, and it’s taken me several years to distinguish between them, but even then I’m not brilliant at it!

is there a chance they would fade away if they were no longer needed to protect you?

This question I have no idea the answer to! Does anyone else?

I also want to say; there’s no such thing as a stupid question - certainly not to me anyway!!

mmmgoats · 17/07/2018 08:35

Interesting thread, I’ve learned an awful lot. I hope you all get the support you need.

And I hope that @hawkie is okay

FloraHiggins · 17/07/2018 08:40

With videos being able to be taken on smart phones, do you ever see footage of any of your identities/parts that someone has inadvertently taken?

ZispinAndMushroomTea · 17/07/2018 08:44

OP, I really hope you don't that I'm answering some of these from my own perspective? Flowers And please note all I don't have a DID diagnosis! (I haven't ever had chance to seek for one on the NHS, as psychiatrist appt has been denied for the past 11ish years, and while I've discussed this and done screening with The Pottergate Centre, I can't afford - and am not sure I want to - seek a private diagnosis.)

Have you ever seen it portrayed or written about anywhere that’s really accurate?

I've not seen it portrayed the way it is for me, since I don't have a lot of pronounced switching, but I do know that eg. United States of Tara has felt to some very similar to their experience. I've not watched it in full myself.

Do you actually see them in your mind or just hear them? Or is it more like a sense they are there?

All of that. I find it really hard to explain. They're like inner voices, but I also can just have a strong sense of them, like their projecting a feeling on me or something, and I can also visualise them.

is there a chance they would fade away if they were no longer needed to protect you?

I'd hate that thought, apart from one scarier one. In older texts especially there's a lot of talk of intergration being the goal of any treatment, and all my alters are terrified of that. No one wants to disappear.

Do your identities all like you?

God, no. I'm a spoil-sport, old and boring, and too controlling.

is it possible to allow a certain identity to come through

I don't know about other sufferers, but I don't feel like I have any control over that.

I should probably go away from this thread, since it's not mine... Blush

ZispinAndMushroomTea · 17/07/2018 08:48

I have what I call a house in my head, and we all live in that house

That's great, Alexcia. Did you always have that? I didn't used to have anything like this, but with therapy work I've created a peaceful imaginary place in my head (for me it's a ramshackled beach house), where they all have their own spaces, and a communal fire pit (we didn't like the idea of a conference table!). It's definitely easier to get in touch with what's going on for them like that.

TEDx · 17/07/2018 10:47

Thank you for this thread. It's sounds so tough. I am quite shocked tbh and cannot imagine what you go through. Flowers

Extremely personal and triggering question so please ignore if you want to. only asking as I am shocked as to what could have caused this. Really don't mean to be insensitive. I really don't.

What abuse did you suffer and how old were you?

Hawkie · 17/07/2018 11:11

I was a child prostitute from first memory until 14.

Back later to go through the other questions.

OP posts: