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I have Dissociative Identity Disorder - AMA.

171 replies

Hawkie · 07/07/2018 16:34

As the title says...

OP posts:
Nquartz · 07/07/2018 16:39

How was it diadnosed? I thought there are still medics who don't believe it is real.

Was it caused by trauma in your childhood?

Do you know when a different persona 'takes over'?

(I'm assuming it is what used to be known as split personality)

HollowTalk · 07/07/2018 16:43

How does that manifest itself, OP? Now that you've been diagnosed, is help available?

Hawkie · 07/07/2018 16:55

@Nquartz I have seen three psychiatrists who made the diagnosis. It was a long process which involved many more medical teams than just psychiatry. There are definitely still doctors who don't believe it exists.

Yes, for me the cause was childhood trauma. I think this is the case for most people.

I don't know at the time, but I sometimes do know afterwards. I have a lot of gaps in my day-to-day functioning, I can do things that I would not normally be able to do and other people also do tell me.

OP posts:
Hawkie · 07/07/2018 16:57

@HollowTalk For me, the first diagnosis was PTSD. I was experiencing severe memory loss and had voices inside my head constantly which made any short-course therapy very difficult. I often wouldn't remember the sessions. In a three year period I saw almost twenty different mental health professionals for therapy.

Now I am getting exceptional help. It is a long process though and there are always concerns about whether funding will be pulled or will still be available next year.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 07/07/2018 17:01

Do you think it's due to something from your past? It sounds as though it must have been very frightening, having voices in your head and having memory loss. Do you still have those symptoms?

Hawkie · 07/07/2018 17:04

@HollowTalk So we think it is caused by childhood trauma. I still have the symptoms - the voices are there all the time and the memory loss occurs on most days and can last from several seconds to weeks. There's no pattern to it so it's very difficult to "fix" it.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 07/07/2018 17:08

The idea of funding being pulled just sickens me. Someone on another thread was moaning about paying £5 for a scan photo - surely the profits made (admittedly high profits on that - presumably the photo would cost a few pence) would go to better facilities and treatment. There's so much wastage in the NHS and it's so tough when doctors and patients have to worry about whether there will be treatment in the future.

I'm so sorry you had childhood trauma. Flowers

Nquartz · 07/07/2018 17:23

What can your 'alters' do that you can't?!

I read a book (fiction) where someone had this & one of the alters killed someone but the person had no idea Shock

Do you work? Presumably your symptoms make that really tricky.

Do you get support from friends & family?

It sounds horrendous for you Thanks

Nquartz · 07/07/2018 17:24

I'm sorry to ask so many questions, it's just one of those subjects I find fascinating.

HollowTalk · 07/07/2018 17:27

I've just been reading about this. Do you have different identities, then? Are you aware of one when you're in another? Sorry if these questions are intrusive - I just don't know much about this.

Iown5pairsofDocMartens · 07/07/2018 17:31

What do you call your other personalities? Alters?
Do you know when they have taken over?
How many are there?

Are you only aware as one?
Doesn't that mean if you had say, 10 you wouldn't know what was happening 90%of the time?

Hawkie · 07/07/2018 17:32

@HollowTalk Thank you for the flowers. I read the thread you are talking about as well and my sentiments are similar.

@Nquartz I have worked since I have been diagnosed but don't currently. I am hoping to start a small business so I have some flexibility for the times I am unwell, however, these things take time and I am not well enough to do any work at the current moment. It's frustrating because being busy actually helps me a lot.

In terms of things that 'alters' can do, one can almost fluently speak an other language (to their age range). One is really good at maths.

Thank you for the flowers. I don't know any different and to be honest I find it strange that people don't have voices inside their heads - the memory gaps I could really do without though, but I couldn't imagine a life without voices.

OP posts:
yawning801 · 07/07/2018 17:36

Have you heard of Kim Noble? She's an artist who has DID and she has about a hundred personalities I think. Some of her personalities paint and it's very interesting to see what they paint.

How many personalities are there (if you know)?

Do you ever switch during conversation? If so, how do you find out what has already been said?

I will have more questions at some point... be prepared! Grin

Hawkie · 07/07/2018 17:36

Ok. Most people use the term alters, I tend to switch between this and Identities, because I prefer the terming of identities, but professionals talk to be about alters.

There is Me, plus 8 identities (at the moment; it used to be less). Usually it is only two that are prominent, although the others are there, I don't think they surface very often but I am very aware of them.

Having 8 doesn't mean that for 90 oddish percent of the time I don't remember anything; there's no fixed pattern related to memory versus the number of identities.

I should preface this all by saying this is obviously only my experience and I am sure other people will answer your questions differently, particularly around alters/identities.

OP posts:
yawning801 · 07/07/2018 17:38

How many identities are aware of the DID? Alternatively, how many have accepted it?

MalloryLaurel · 07/07/2018 17:39

Do your alters know each other are there?
Do you remember what your alters have been up to?
Are you aware of them when you are in charge of your body?
I'm fascinated by this. I had very bad depression and felt like I was out of my body watching myself.

Iown5pairsofDocMartens · 07/07/2018 17:39

How do you find out about the other identities?

Hawkie · 07/07/2018 17:42

@yawning801 I have heard of Kim Noble - she's amazing.

Switching during conversations is a right pain. It ends up being very confusing for me, which has led to me becoming very quiet and withdrawn.

About half my identities are aware of the DID. Only 1 doesn't want to be in therapy (but this is my identity that doesn't ever want to do anything). Everyone else is quite happy to go to therapy now but this wasn't the case before. I try to do something that everyone enjoys after each therapy session.

OP posts:
Hawkie · 07/07/2018 17:43

I am just going to go and buy an ice cream and I will come back and answer the rest of the questions!

OP posts:
WaitrosePigeon · 07/07/2018 17:43

Is having DID really like how it is portrayed in Split? (Take away the murder stuff obviously!)

yawning801 · 07/07/2018 17:45

So do you have a name that you all go by, or do the others just respond to their own names?

The questions aren't over, they will be endless!

PurpleDaisies · 07/07/2018 17:54

Do you think any of your other alters are on here?

CrackersDontMatter · 07/07/2018 17:54

Wow, thank you for sharing, this is so interesting. Do the alters talk to each other or only to you?

CrackersDontMatter · 07/07/2018 17:55

Ooh @PurpleDaisies that’s a great question!

stationthirteen · 07/07/2018 18:00

How do you feel about your alters? Do you like some more than others?

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