Retired lap dancer- ask me anything

[yourprivatedancerEX]

It’s not something I tell new people I meet that for 10 years I used to be a very successful lap dancer. I have a very different career now but often reminisce about my secret lap dancing past, always with fond memories!
I think it’s still something that is frowned upon by many and in my view I think that’s largely down to being misunderstood. So if any of you have any questions I will answer them and hopefully give you some interesting insight into the secret world of lap dancing! Ask away.

Many prostitutes have websites or use online platforms which make it perfectly possible to operate in the sex industry without soliciting pimping or working from a brothel
There is also online support such as the saafe forum offering advice on how to operate to maximize safety profitability etc
Prostitution, lap dancing, porn, webcam work....all part of the sex industry

@crunchymint I know how the industry developed and diversified etc too but whilst there may be some dubious clubs and working practices you cannot generalise or speak for the industry as a whole just as you can't for any employer. It's very unfair to generalise and to shut down any dissenting opinions as being innacurate or out of date

trafficking is bad but stripping doesn't cause it
I've read this a few times and it's either naive or disingenuous. Even strip and lap dancing clubs recognise the connection.
In the US, an alliance of owners, dancers, etc, carry out training days to help dancers and club workers recognise when fellow dancers may be trafficked. Stripping helps to create the demand that trafficking feeds.

Virtually all prostitution is now arranged online including escorting and brothels.
Here capitalism has done its work. Why travel to a brothel and see what women are there when you can compare women available on the internet? Its comparison shopping, exactly what shoppers do for any other commodity they are buying.And there is punternet which is a review site. Again just like any other shopping you do.
I don't see women as commodities, but that is how they are treated in the sex industry.

If you want to see how the sex industry operates where you live, you can easily find out online yourself.

@JuliaJaynes9 Im aware of this but I was responding to a posters specific comment about street prostitution in Leeds

Which is why "extras" are routinely offered

Where are you getting this from?? Even if it weren't for the fact that this is completely at odds with my (and every other ex lap dancer on this thread)'s experience, it wouldn't make any financial sense! Not for the girls, not for the clubs.

Clubs need to keep their licences, girls need clubs to work in, nobody needs to be offering extras when you either earn your money dancing or you don't dance at all. Bad lap dancers don't lap dance. It's not guaranteed money, it's not "easy" money, and not everyone can do it. Those who can't do it don't prostitute themselves in lap-dancing clubs, they simply don't work in lap-dancing clubs!

I know a woman who works lap dancing in a club.
She says it's easy money to pay through uni, but you have to be careful you don't step on others toes (not literally)
She hires her place, just like a hairdresser, so she has to work the required hours to recoup her costs.
I'm not sure how much she gets paid but she told me it isn't as much as people think.
The tips are the main earner, then the base of min wage.

user Of course you can talk about how an industry operates. And clubs where no "extras" are routinely offered are not going to stay in business long unless they are offering something else that is very different.
And don't make me laugh. The police don't care whether the no touching rule is enforced or not. Sure if there is full sex happening in public on the floor they will care. What the police care about when reviewing licences is has the club led to increased violence outside the club or police being called to the club. I have sat in on license renewals being considered. They do not talk about whether no touching rules are being enforced.

user there is a managed prostitution zone in Leeds. The police trialled a different approach.

I know of two clubs that were closed down as a result of girls offering extras/dancing too close - by the local authority not the police as it's they who regulate them. Both clubs had awful reputations and were given a wide berth by most dancers.
I'm at a loss to understand why a British woman would be 'trafficked' around various lap dancing clubs against her will. Clubs take dancers welfare pretty seriously as they could stand to loose everything if they did employ and underage or trafficked woman

And clubs where no "extras" are routinely offered are not going to stay in business long unless they are offering something else that is very different.

Are you going to say where you're getting this from or are you actually just making it up? No club wants anything to do with "extras"; what the hell would be in it for them?

So if someone came on here saying that they worked in a nursery where the kids just watched TV all day and it was an easy job. I would ask how many nurseries they had worked at. If they said they had worked at nurseries in many cities I would know they were either talking about nurseries many many years ago before there was any regulation, or they were lying. Because although we know there can be one rogue nursery, we know how nurseries as an industry operate. And many nurseries operating like that would be closed down.

In the same way I can talk about how lap dancing clubs as an industry operate. So someone saying the no touching and 3 metre rule is enforced at one lap dancing club can be being truthful. One person saying this is enforced at many clubs across many different locations is either talking about lap dancing when it was in its infancy, or is lying. I suspect the OP is being truthful but was lap dancing when lap dancing clubs were a total novelty. I know one of the clubs in a location she is talking about where it was called table dancing has closed down. The clubs still running all offer "extras".

@RatRolyPoly Fantastic post and so true. It's crazy to think that clubs would allow a completely unsustainable business model that jeopardised their very livelihood

user Trafficking does not have to be forceable. Trafficking can involve persuasion or coercion.

Women are trafficked around different cities through persuasion or coercion because men want to see new women. It is part of a business model to offer something new. And this is an easy way to do it.

I get this from knowing lap dancing clubs in some of the places OP has mentioned and understanding how the industry operates. It is not anecdotal from one woman's experiences which may be good or bad.

@crunchymint I understand this I'm just saying that I find it difficult to imagine this happening in the places I've worked. I know dancers who've had personal issues and the club has got involved from a welfare perspective to ensure they are ok, give them time off if needed etc. Clubs want their girls to be happy and engaging as this maximises earnings for both. A girl working under duress or coercion would be pretty easy to pick out

I am talking about a woman being persuaded or coerced to work in a different place. Coerced could mean only being offered shifts that do not make much money if she refuses to travel. How would it be easy to pick women out like this in a lap dancing club? She is there to make money, not being physically forced. So she is not working where she wants to work, but she is going to try and make as much money as possible while there, and so is hardly going to stand there looking totally miserable the whole time.

@cruncymint again this is at odds with my experiences. Most girls would pick up 'regular' customers who they knew they would be guaranteed money from and the clubs encouraged this as it increased profits from them. Men wanting 'new' girls would just visit another club though I've never come across this as an issue as most clubs had a huge amount of new girls wanting to work for them each week and would audition to ensure they only took on the best. I know girls who've worked in the same clubs for 5+ years and made a very healthy salary and were encouraged to stay on by the club

You know what - this is great thank you!

If I was 20 again and had the body I had then - I'd jolly well consider lapdancing rather than all the shitty, tedious waiting and pub jobs where men thought you were low life and touched you up anyway!!

And I'd have been paid handsomely for it!!

And of course clubs are going to give women time off i.e. give them no shifts, if they look miserable or look drugged out or drunk. It is not good for business.
And anyone who thinks I don't know what I am talking about, remember this is a business to make money. Just read my posts remembering this. Businesses exist to make money.

And licencing committees care about is the club causing problems. So number of police calls, complaints to council, complaints from police about number of calls to club or caused by men at club. Or alcohol laws or laws around minors not being enforced. If there are no complaints and no extra calls to police caused by club being there, the licence is renewed.

@crunchymint I'm sorry but you've lost me at only being offered shifts that don't make much money, offered by who?! You don't get 'offered' shifts, you give your availablity and the club works out a fair rota that is agreed by both parties

Coerced could mean only being offered shifts that do not make much money if she refuses to travel.

This is not how lap dancing clubs work at all. You aren't offered shifts, you tell them what nights you want to work. You're paying to be there after all, they don't mind you coming in whenever you think you're going to be able to make money. They want a minimum number of girls, of course, which is why they wouldn't put anyone off by permitting some girls to give "extras".

As for being trafficked around the country, the clubs have no ownership over the girls. You are self-employed. We had girls coming out to our (quite provincial club) because they could make more money here; less competition than in London I guess. The clubs aren't passing the girls around between themselves; that idea is just nonsense.

xpost user

user Yes clubs take on new women all the time. Then what happens to the women working there for five plus years? I am not denying that the occasional woman may stay on a long time, but can you see how your statements are contradictory? If lots of new women are being taken on all the time, lots of women who already work there are leaving or travelling elsewhere to work in other clubs. And only in London are there enough lap dancing clubs to not have to travel to other cities and towns.

Crunchy why are you speaking like you’ve managed every club and met every lap dancer in the UK?