Retired lap dancer- ask me anything

[yourprivatedancerEX]

It’s not something I tell new people I meet that for 10 years I used to be a very successful lap dancer. I have a very different career now but often reminisce about my secret lap dancing past, always with fond memories!
I think it’s still something that is frowned upon by many and in my view I think that’s largely down to being misunderstood. So if any of you have any questions I will answer them and hopefully give you some interesting insight into the secret world of lap dancing! Ask away.

Moon kissed no I agree you can have a different opinion, I don’t have a problem with that. But asking me why I’m posting here, as though I shouldn’t isn’t something I’m ok with. I’ve been a member for years and have the same right as everyone else to post about topics that interest me. I don’t mind a discussion at all, but please don’t imply I should be censored and not allowed to talk if my experiences.

About shambu- yes she can disagree. But when Brit has called us all thick huns and I have responded saying there’s no need for name calling and abuse, shambu posted saying that it’s true and that she finds the abuse funny.

So by all means let’s have a discussion but why is is acceptable for some of you be abusive, rude and name call?

That's one perspective yes, I do think that strip clubs perpetuate misogyny. Do I think I hurt other women? (As in the class of women by being a lap dancer) yes. Did I personally hurt women by being a lap dancer? No, I paid my bills, and i'd go back to it if necessary.

The empowerment question is an interesting one. Empowerment earned through being attractive and making men feel aroused is not the sort of ‘empowerment’ I would want for myself or my daughter. To me, feeling empowered by something like lap dancing suggests quite poor self-esteem, though I am sure many will say I am wrong in that.

Women still have such a long way to go in getting society to treat us like people rather than sexual objects. Lap dancing doesn’t help, nor does Page 3, advertising, lads’ mags, music videos etc etc...

None of these are the cause of the objectification of women; they are ALL manifestations of it. But none of them particularly help feminism.

Still, if we all just carry on as we are for a few more decades, maybe men will suddenly spontaneously decide to stop using women as commodities. Fingers crossed, eh?

Helmet you are exaggerating the point made there. The poster wasn’t saying everyone who disagrees with lapdancing has a rubbish job etc. She was referring specifically to the extremely rude and actually rather nasty posters upthread that seemed to take great delight in being rude.

Upthread it was asked, why called "lapdancing". I always believed that to be because the performer sits on the punters lap and grinds.

The 'empowerment' thing is bollocks.

How come men don't need to take their clothes off and become nothing more than wank fodder for women in order to feel empowered? They are able to get their empowerment in other ways, why not women?

If lapdancing was truly and objectively empowering, men would do it too. Its only empowering for women in a society that values women only on how fuckable they are.

What I find irritating is how much stripping and other sex work is judged based on “empowerment”. Why does it have to be empowering to be an acceptable career choice? Is being a plumber empowering? And accountant? A CEO? Those are considered acceptable and perfectly fine without anyone questioning how feminist they are. Yet strippers get a barrage of questions over feeling empowered and their jobs being sufficiently feminist. Just always strikes me as ridiculous.

Mcfugget I also responded to that upthread and explained why it was called that and it’s nothing to do with grinding.

Men don’t do it because women aren’t daft enough to buy it.

I wish I lived in this fairytale utopia where stripping for strangers was totally safe and empowering, no one does extras or gets hurt ever and we’d all just love our daughters to do it.

It all sounds wonderful.

What are the winning lottery numbers, will I live forever and who will win the world cup?
ok I don't care about the world cup but I was stuck for a third one....

Brit.

1. Not one dancer on this thread has said that no one is ever hurt and it’s all a fairytale. We have simply described our own, personal experiences which happen to have been positive. We are not saying that that applies to everyone everywhere.

1. No one is suggesting you should want your daughters to aspire to it. Again just a discussion about our experiences with other women curious about the topic.

I repeat my previous points that if you are so offended by the fact we are discussing it then please move on to other threads which match your interests and ideals more.

As an aside, many if not most nightclubs and lap dancing clubs across the country are owned by or used as fronts for organised crime.

Which is all quite icky really.

Oj

Winning lottery numbers, I’ll pm you.

Will you live forever. Absolutely. In the minds and hearts of those who love you

Hello OP and thanks for sharing your experience.

Do you have any good tips on keeping on top of body hair?! Especially bikini line and legs? I have battled with it my whole life and it is such a pain in hot weather. I get a leg wax monthly but shave in between. I am always spotty or stubbly and would love to know how dancers stay smooth! Cheers.

wank fodder nice career move.

No questions for you OP, but just wanted to say, an ex of mine owned a lap dancing club. I used to love to chat to the girls, and watch them work, which they did with the utmost professionalism. We may have met, you never know.

And someone said that actual sex has to happen for something to be classed as sex-work. Webcammers include themselves as sex workers though, as do dominatrixes and masseuses. (I'm not opposed to women choosing to work in the sex trade btw).

Blitzen no magic method I’m afraid! It’s the usual shave/wax/hair removal cream or laser.

Try shaving with baby oil. It helps prevent the shaving rash I find.

As an aside, many if not most nightclubs and lap dancing clubs across the country are owned by or used as fronts for organised crime

That genuinely made me laugh though

Also for people asking about job satisfaction etc.
Here’s why it’s the best job for me

• today I had a day off because I wanted to sit on the couch and watch some telly (handmaid’s tale is on today in the US)

• sometimes I want a treat like a fancy couples massage for myself and my husband. All I do is work an extra few hours.

• this summer I’m having 6 weeks off to visit family (they live in 2 different countries), I don’t have to ask anyone to be allowed to do this.

• I don’t sit behind a desk all day

• I’ve met countless friends from work that you get close to pretty immediately

• I can travel for work to pretty much any state, thinking of working in Hawaii sometime next year.

• I enjoy dancing, I did pole dancing through all of university at the society and this lets me perform day to day.

• I can make time for my husband. He’s got a very rigid scheduled job so it’s nice to a lot of freedom in my work as otherwise we’d barely see each other.

• I’m going to be able to retire at roughly 35 and focus on raising children and take time to maybe retrain into a long term career that’s less physical. Maybe radiology or sonography.

Those are just what I can think of right now

And second everything happystripper posted above.

Men don’t do it because women aren’t daft enough to buy it.

Rubbish. It annoys me when people minimise the impact of men going to lapdancers with the 'oh its only because men are so daft' argument, as if men get an excuse for their behaviour because ya know boys will be boys, ain't they daft

Men don't do it because women don't have the sense of entitlement to men's bodies that women have to men's.

That should of course have read:

Men don't do it because women don't have the sense of entitlement to men's bodies that men have to women's.

The organised crime thing is absolutely true. For one thing it’s the easiest way to launder money.

Even the tacky nightclub in my sleepy little town. It’s not just a trope from mafia films 😂