Retired lap dancer- ask me anything

[yourprivatedancerEX]

It’s not something I tell new people I meet that for 10 years I used to be a very successful lap dancer. I have a very different career now but often reminisce about my secret lap dancing past, always with fond memories!
I think it’s still something that is frowned upon by many and in my view I think that’s largely down to being misunderstood. So if any of you have any questions I will answer them and hopefully give you some interesting insight into the secret world of lap dancing! Ask away.

I suspect the naysayers on here have never earned what you did, never had any similar job satisfaction, never experienced feeling so good about themselves physically, or had the independence/flexibility to earn more if needed.

What a load of nonsense. Millions of women earn,have job satisfaction, feel good about themselves and earn extra if they wish.

Feminism. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Shambu well for a start most women on this thread have been polite and curious, and even many that disagreed have been polite about it so obviously only a few of you share that viewpoint that I shouldn’t post here.

And secondly whilst I’m not expecting smiles and high 5s I do expect the same level of respect that I have shown others. That does not include being referred to as thick.

Well you clearly don't! How dare you sit there & judge and tell women what to do with their OWN bodies? And belittle women who choose to lap dance because you find it 'immoral' or because it may encourage your husband to cheat.

There's certainly nothing 'sisterhood' about that.

Depends what kind of feminism you subscribe to, I suppose? If it's sex work exclusionary, then no, strip clubs aren't feminist. Liberal, more so. I used to err on the side of liberal, now probably slightly more radical leaning.

And for someone proclaiming to be a feminist TokenBrit you seem to forget that the notion of CHOICE is one of the fundamentals of being a feminist. A woman CHOOSING to be a lap dancer. A woman CHOOSING to dance for money.

Choosy choice liberal feminism perhaps.

Not all feminism by a long stretch.

I used to err on the side of liberal, now probably slightly more radical leaning.

Me too.

But you can't dictate someone else's version of feminism, that's the point, choosy choice liberal feminism is still feminism to those choosy choicing to subscribe to it.

Why did you decide to come and post on Mumsnet about this?

Moon kissed

For the same reason anyone else posts on Mumsnet. Why not?

Why does anyone post anything on MN? Are we dictating what people can and can't post now?

If lapdancing is a completely free 'choice' made entirely in a vacuum from misogynist society, then how come there aren't loads of male lapdancers and lapdancing clubs?(Chippendales don't count by the way)

How do poor men cope with not having the 'choice' of being a lapdancer? How come men don't get 'empowered' from lapdancing?

Why not?

Because this

Well I object to the commodification of women’s bodies. And I think a site aimed at predominantly women is a shitty place to be glorifying it.

They have the choice Moonkissed. They just choose not to exercise it.....

You seem to be missing the point that women should be able to CHOOSE what they do with their own bodies.If they enjoy doing it, who are you to tell them they can't?

I love that you’ve done this thread! SIL was a very successful lap dancer, she earned a fortune. Enough to buy a large house outright when she stopped at 25. She always speaks so fondly of it and talks about how it is really not a sleazy prostitution fest that people made it out to be!
She still sees her friends from the industry now, she does baby groups with 2 of them
The ‘sisterhood’ is the big thing she always speaks of.

No questions but I’m glad someone’s shared an experiance here where a lot of people have the view point that it’s mainly trafficked/exploited people. Some people really do enjoy it.

They have the choice Moonkissed. They just choose not to exercise it.....

Well yes quite, funny that isn't it?

Moon kissed so despite there being lots of interest, and for the most part lots of interesting discussion, this conversation shouldn’t be allowed to happen here because you disagree with it?

If mumsnet wanted to ban threads like this they would do. But they haven’t because you know...free speech.

There are thousands of threads on here. If the content of this one offends you so much I really don’t understand why you are reading it and joining in.

I posted this is chat. To chat about it.

Do all threads have to meet your approval in order to be posted?

only a few of you share that viewpoint that I shouldn’t post here.

Where did I say you shouldn't post? I just said you can't expect unmitigated applause.

And where did I say I expect applause shambu? I simply expect to be treated with the same level of respect I have treated everyone else with. You haven’t seen me name calling and being abusive.

If lapdancing is a completely free 'choice' made entirely in a vacuum from misogynist society

Who said it wasn't misogynistic? Of course it's based in misogyny. But why would I (personally) not choose to profit from the misogyny if I choose to?

I never said you can't post here. I have no power over who posts what on here. I was just asking thing question.

I disagree with glorifying the commodification of women's bodies, because I think it contributes to the dehumanisation of women as a whole and hurts women in the process. I don't see women as something to be bought and sold by men, and while stripping, prostitution, lapdancing continue, men will continue to see women as nothing more than subhuman objects to put their dick into, and vice versa. Its self perpetuating.

But obviously you can post here. Like Shambu said, people are allowed to have another opinion that isn't just fawning and 'oh how empowering'.

Don’t talk rubbish - in all my years every lap dancer has more to offer..

But why would I (personally) not choose to profit from the misogyny if I choose to?

Because then you are perpetuating that misogyny and hurting other women down the line in the process.

I suspect the naysayers on here have never earned what you did, never had any similar job satisfaction, never experienced feeling so good about themselves physically, or had the independence/flexibility to earn more if needed

Yeah that post stood out as being more than usually thick.

People who don’t like lap-dancing clubs all have low-paid miserable jobs and hate their bodies?

Still op liked that one.