My sister has been hurting her son

Thank God for the teacher spotting the abuse.

Thats heartbreaking , just utterly heartbreaking. Your family did the right thing, I think the best you can do is throw everything you can at keeping them away from him. I can’t imagine doing that to my own child let alone letting someone else do it. Main thing is he’s currently safe and cared for. You didn’t know and when your family did find out they acted. You trusted your sister to be a loving mum and protector of her child, thats not a fault in you or your family.

I also they come down hard on your sister and her partner, abusing a child is one of the worst things you can do imo, neither of them should be allowed around children full stop.

It must be devastating to learn the sister you loved and we're proud of was a child abusing bully. I'm so sorry, OP.

I hope you are all able to give your poor young nephew the love and support he needs, now that he is safe.

If the child is now safe, remanding either one or both of them into custody would have no real effect, except to put further pressure on the prison population numbers.

Thank goodness for your parents.
The little chap will be protected.

I’m so sorry OP, this is heartbreaking.

I have a non verbal, autistic dd and the thought of this is horrific. I was going to ask if you were sure the bruises were caused by his mum/stepdad as my dd bites herself and often has bruises up her arms. The school have never been suspicious though because she does it there as well so they know how she’s getting them. If there’s actual video footage however clearly that’s not the case.

Be wary that it could be the only reason his mum and stepdad want him back is benefit related. Children with autism often claim dla (which is a lifesaver if used properly! Not bashing at all here). I imagine if they are capable of abusing their son/stepson, they are capable of claiming his benefits and spending them on themselves. Years ago I attended a group for children with disabilities. I remember talking to a woman who was fostering a child with severe, life limiting disabilities. She felt she was too old to adopt her but was terrified of her being adopted by anyone else just in case they were seeing it through the view of pound signs. The last I heard the fostering parents did actually adopt her because they couldn’t stand the risk of it.

I really hope your parents get custody of the little boy and your sister and her partner see the full repercussions for what they’ve done. Thinking of you 💐

The fact she's your sister goes out of the window. She's a child abuser and nothing more.

I'm glad he's now getting the help he needs. I was going to ask abour the police but looks like it's all in hand.

Very sad indeed. For the sake of the child, I hope you get the chance to take care of him should your parents be unable to.

All I can really offer right now is money and a listening ear. It doesn't feel good enough.

Believe me, both of those things will be helping your parents and your nephew enormously right now, particularly if either is otherwise in short supply.

Horrified to read this, but delighted he's safe now. Poor little thing. We so often only read about these children when it's too late.

Read the thread? The op says he’s being taunted, pushed and shoved by the boyfriend. The mother is ‘contorting’ (I guess twisting??) his arms and face (grabbing maybe) whilst snarling at him while he's frightened and having a meltdown. His teacher has said she suspected abuse and it’s come to light after his nan found physical injuries. And if this is just what she’s willing to share in family videos, imagine the things that they’ve not seen. I can see why the op doesn’t want to share more details. Does that sound like a smacked bum to you?

OP you have nothing to feel guilty for, the only guilty parties are your sister and her partner. All you can do is what you are doing, and it sounds like your nephew has a loving extended family to care for him. As the parent of a vulnerable non verbal child I applaud that teacher and thank goodness this has been stopped and hopefully he can begin to recover.

Moving forward I would be conscious of making sure your parents are coping ok and getting whatever support they need in place- they might need someone to help them stand up to the authorities and fight for things your nephew might need especially into his teens/adulthood. Don't underestimate the magnitude of this but for now just love that little boy because it sounds like he needs it more than ever, poor wee soul xx

OP, make sure you refer your parents to IPSEA and SOS SEN for support and advice with ensuring your nephew's needs are met. It's great that you are helping by paying for therapies, but really he should be getting these provided by the NHS and local authority.

How awful, she will hopefully never be allowed near children again. And definitely not her son.

if it was me I would get the first flight home, move back and foster him, your parents deserve to be grandparents now they have done their parenting.

Pardon? There is such a thing as justice. Society needs to see criminals, particularly child abusers, punished as harshly as possible. Fuck the prison population. Open many more prisons, we need them, they create jobs and they keep vile creatures off the streets.

Justice matters.

Don't blame yourself the blame is squarely on your sister who put her boyfriend ahead of her DS who needed her to protect him. Your nephew is safe now. Hopefully if he was 2 or 3 when this happened he won't remember it. All you can do is try to help your parents as much as you can. Have him visit you for summer holidays etc. I really hope your sister never gets her DS back. What a brilliant teacher he has.

This was awful to read just imagining what a little innocent child suffered through. She is his mother! There is no excuse for his treatment.

Why on earth do they want him back for? To inflict more cruelty on him?! I really hope he remains with your parents.

Only the most dangerous unconvictrd offenders will be remanded in custody, and I think the response here is correct: these people probably are only dangerous to the children that are living with them.

Absolutely, they must be punished after they've been found guilty, but usually, in these cases, the only people they're in direct risk to are their own children.

It sounds like a horrible situation, OP @Kickpot and I hope there's a swift resolution.

As long as you have evidence of the abuse I would like to hope they’ll never get him back. If they do then the system has failed that little boy.

Not realistic and pp is correct. I don’t think remand is used as an extension of punishment anyway, it’s supposed to be used to keep people who pose an immediate danger or risk of absconding.

No chance of them seeing nephew unsupervised now (and well done to the family for stepping up).

Please make sure your parents do not let her anywhere near that boy. Evil wicked woman, I hope she never sees the light of day.

I guarantee she is going to try to get him back, and also try to manipulate your parents into letting her have access. The thing you can do from afar is make sure they never let her do this, not now and not in the future.

Keep them strong, and if at any point in the future they become too frail or old to look after him you must step up. I could cry reading about this, that poor little boy.

Same personally. I would do everything in my power to make sure his "mother" never saw him again.

Is his biological dad/patterns family around? Are they able to support your parents?

She's a monster who has met a like-minded monster.

I'd do everything and anything I could to help the Police prosecute them - especially her as she is the parent. He's just a boyfriend so has no legal rights over this poor child.

Im sorry WHAT. Are you okay?!! If they abuse children, innocent little children, they are a danger to society. They are a danger to that little boy.

I cant believe what I've just read.