Feeling frustrated and sad about my daughter’s three-day suspension.

This. But the reason we have such tricky youngsters now is because whenever rules are enforced the parents whine - OP says she “accepts” but she isn’t setting out consequences at home.

She is a teenager doing a tiktok dance with her friends for only her friends to see.

Calm down.

I completely agree. What a mountain out of a molehill!!

If she shares with anyone there is a chance, quite a big one, that it becomes public.

You need to know that and so does she.

They could have stopped filming at that point…..?

Wonder how many posters saying it isn’t a big deal would have an issue if their child was filmed whilst on the toilet. This is why phones are banned from school toilet areas and all students will know that

But many students wouldn’t, that is why phones can’t be in the toilets

Sorry, but i think the school have gone quite easy on her.

She has not only breached school rules about phones, she has breached her teachers trust by abusing the lesrning break they were given. And then she has also broken safeguarding ones by firstly filming in the toilets and secondly intending to post it.

You seem to be massive minimising what she has done here. Why is that?

I certainly taught mine to challenge authority if it was wrong
i think the punishment was OTT
I certainly wouldn’t punish her at home

Why was punishment OTT? Also it accords with the school’s behaviour policy, which both DD and OP should know

I didn't know that - but 'work' need not be classwork.

I took 'classwork' to mean work the class would be doing in her absence, but that might not be correct.

The work suspended pupils get could be something generic which would not need to be set individually by the class teachers. That would be a reasonable request.

As to the pupils staying at home, I would expect so but am not able to comment.

They were caught though.

You will look back on this and realise it didn't matter that much really.
There are so many other awful things she could have done that really did justify the punishment given.
She probably won't do anything like this again, if she were mine I'd back the school up but secretly be thinking that they were a bit over the top with a 3 day suspension.

It per the school’s behaviour policy, which both the DD and OP will have agreed to when signing up to the school

Schools are mandated to not allow phone use in schools now. So harsh punishments all round

Phones are treated as prohibited items in our local schools, so instant suspension if seen. Add in filming and then filming in the toilet area, 3 days could be seen as light punishment.

Students will know the repercussions, OP’s DD would have known what the risk was.

If she had filmed someone in the toilet, even accidentally she could have been in the shit (excuse the pun)

Toilets and phones are not a good mix in schools, there is a reason governments/schools are bringing in rules about phone use in schools

Filming in a toilet is completely inappropriate, you don't seem to understand that. You're more focused on the punishment than on helping your DD understand why this behaviour was understandably something that school will take seriously.

If student was not in lesson there is always online recourses available.

Suspension is a serious matter but the child's learning should not be interrupted.

What a load of bollocks. Proud her daughter is filming in a school toilet? Shining by filming in a toilet? I can see why you’re having trouble understanding things.

Do you know you can be sacked from your job for doing the same thing?

I wonder how comfortable posters would feel if they went to toilet area and someone had their phone out filming

This will have been drummed into the students, do not film/take photos near toilets. DD would have known this was something she shouldn’t be doing and that it would be taken seriously and result in a suspension

I can’t imagine the school have a policy about dancing in the toilets, which is what the
other girls were doing. However, your daughter 1) had her smart phone out during the school day, 2) was filming other pre-teens dancing in school uniform in the toilets, 3) with the intention of posting it to social media. Your daughter has likely broken lots of rules.

I can fully understand the school’s choice to punish to the extent of their policy as there is potential for a massive safeguarding issue here. As a parent who hasn’t let my similar aged children have smartphones or access to any SM I’d be livid if someone else’s child videoed them and posted them on SM.

Obviously your daughter doesn’t understand the risks involved in what she was doing, and wasn’t acting with malice. But you’ve allowed your child access to a smartphone and SM accounts and therefore it’s your responsibility to ensure she understands the risks involved and the reasons behind school rules boundaries. (And if you feel she’s too young to hear about perverts sexualising her and her friends dancing in their school uniforms then maybe she isn’t old enough for a smartphone and SM accounts).

Sounds like an otherwise sensible girl who I’m sure has learned about online safety the hard way way).

Im surprised she didn’t get an internal exclusion,

3 days exclusion at home for a dance in some toilets when it wasn’t even posted and they were just having fun is a bit overkill imo

yes punish by all means but 3 days!

my dd got one day in year 9 for having a meltdown and telling her form teacher to fuck off.

BEFORE you all pile in and tell me what a shocking parent I am and how she’ll end up in prison etc, she had just lost her dad, was experiencing extreme anxiety, was grieving and they just weren’t giving her the support she needed, she also ND too

she had one day,exclusion (which she thought was great) I pushed for support, she was punished at home, she had councelling and after a few blips settled down and is now in college doing well,

school followed the behaviour policy. No phones out rule was broken. Immediate suspension in our local schools (and known by students so no excuse). Then filming, which would also be a big no, and then add to that filming in the toilet area (huge safeguarding risk)

When considering suspensions schools have to look at any factors that may influence behaviour and take those into account.

I don’t make employment rules but you can google if you think I made a mistake.

The thing is, if she wasn’t pulled up for it now it would have just continued. I doubt it would have been the first and last time if she hadn’t been caught. I got caught at school (primary) being out and about with classmates during our lunch break - which was strictly prohibited. We got punished for it and didn’t do it again. Job done. OP’s dd can make the Tik Toks with her friends at home, in their toilet, if that’s her preferred location.