Feeling frustrated and sad about my daughter’s three-day suspension.

Seems way OTT to me. How did they get caught? Sorry if you’ve already answered this.

I would make my feelings about this being OTT known to my child but accept there’s nothing that can be done if this is the punishment the school has decided upon.

Caught on camera having a shit?! I don't think they were filming inside occupied toilet stalls. Plus a dance takes like 60 seconds. Plus - nobody walked in?! And if they had they'd have seen other teen girls doing a thing that teen girls are VERY used to and they'd have gone into a stall and cracked on.

@Ffs1234if it helps - plenty of kids do this. Being a small place the audio sounds better for TikTok/insta videos. So it’s a popular concept amongst teens. My DD went to grammar school and this was very common (few years ago), they were just smart enough to not get caught. All the girls who I have seen in the videos are in top unis now.

I’m just saying that your DD hasn’t done something unthinkable that no teen does. However every school is different and policy around mobiles is changing so kids have to keep up.

3 day suspension is probably a bit much, but hopefully it will deter her from breaking rules again. Don’t add to her burden at this point - maybe use the time to talk about how to make better choices esp in school where there is always an exciting/wrong choice being pushed by other kids.

No I meant their face being caught on camera.
Also, from experience a group of young teen girls smell your shit and take the piss out of you, and then their words can be on the video. I've had it happen to me.

OP, not what you asked, but please be aware that school are legally required to provide work for her during her exclusion. She might need help to access it as it will be the class lesson materials but without the teacher. Focus on making sure she gets that done before you have her cleaning the house! And make her read if she finishes the work in less than the 5 hours a day she'd be in class at school.

Just seen you're not in the UK, so the legal requirements are probably different. Good luck this week!

You should be able to set up parental controls so that she can’t access anything like TikTok during school hours even if she turns the phone on.
Three days seems a lot but if it’s multiple rules she’s broken that may be why.

As an addition - movement break does not mean gather with all your mates in the toilet for ages and makes videos ...

That does seem a bit excessive. I suspect it’s because filming in the loos has to be (and should be) taken really seriously, hence the suspension, but there’s been no nuance. I’d have assumed that the maximum three day suspension would be for more serious issues than openly filming a dance, but sometimes a pupil will be made an example of.

She was stupid @Ffs1234 - not mean, or violent, or destructive, or racist, or homophobic. Next time she'll likely take a moment to think before dhe acts and learning that early will likely save her a world of hurt later on.

Really, it could be a lot worse.

She did it on a movement break during lesson time. She was pissing about and started filming. Not sure why your so sad about it tbh. She won’t do it again.

Exactly.

I’d be furious with her and she’d have her phone confiscated for longer than the 3 day suspension.

But the movement break thing is the issue. You need to give specific reasons eg medical, mental health, whatever. So she'll be seen as taking the piss even asking for the break. In turn, that makes it harder for kids who genuinely need a movement break, as they cannot automatically trust that request because of arsing about like your dd.did.
Additionally they had clearly conspired to get their movement break at the same time. And finally, if they were found in there by a teacher it means that teacher had been sent to investigate where they were. That will be a teacher not in class but on admin time. As well as the teacher in their lesson needing to halt teaching and send out the alert. Because teachers are duty bound to safeguard your child by knowing where they are. So at least 2 teachers were taken away from their regular duties because of it.
It's as much about breaking trust and stealing staff time as it is about the location.

So yeah, 3 days is fair really.

I'll never understand schools in this country. During a sanctioned break this person's daughter and a few friends decide to be creative and make a dance video and the administration decide to suspend them for 3 frickin days??!! What a way to punish innovation, but I guess that's the whole point isn't it? We need more drones for the daily grind.

Just tell your daughter she did nothing wrong and you are proud of her. Institutions in this country just exist to pull people down instead of letting them shine.

Wow I’d be thinking how incredibly lucky she was to be caught before it could be finished and distributed.

I think you’re way off on this. Up to 3 days allow for the severity of the offence……this is really serious. It doesn’t mean she’s a bad person or doomed to be in trouble for ever but she made a really big mistake that could have had terrible consequences had they not been caught, I’d be backing the school to the hilt here,

No, not publicly, share it at all.

Filming children in the toilet to share it online?

We have very different ideas of ‘innovative’ behaviour that is likely to lead to someone being able to ‘shine’.

It could of still of been shared. The school don't know whether it wasn't shared or shared. They may of proved it wasn't shared, but that still doesn't mean it wasn't. They could of shared it then deleted it on their phone. Who knows.

Well done to the school. Your daughter deserved her punishment from the school.

I can't understand why you feel sad.

Filming in toilets is such a big no. Lucky punishment wasn’t worse

Whole class movement breaks tend to happen in the classroom, so how was she in the toilets? I'd be very surprised if the school let numerous students out of the classroom in one go for a movement break together without a member of staff with them. It'd be an insurance nightmare, let alone an immediate behaviour issue.

How do you know? Your daughter and her friends are capable of lying.