Feeling frustrated and sad about my daughter’s three-day suspension.

Oh about 23 😂

She will come out the other end fine

Don't punish her at home at all. Would you expect school to punish for things that happened at home?

A 3 day suspension from school is enough.

As you are not in the UK, is it the same rules as here, eg you can't go out in school time except with parents for planned appointments (eg if you already had a dentist appointment booked)?

I'd just make her do schoolwork on those 3 days when she'd be in school (if it's like the UK she can't do much else anyway).

She isn't on a pathway to delinquency and some of the comments on here are ridiculous. However, the school hasn't overreacted given the circumstances and a 3 days suspension sends a strong signal. Hopefully she has got the message and that will be it.

Ignore that poster, they were being ridiculous. People think confiscating phones is the universal panacea on here. Oh, and turning off the wifi, because data doesn't exist.

Sorry OP but this has got the undertones of so many parent's posts on here. Basically 'I know my child has done wrong but the punishment is too harsh'.
It isn't too harsh. I've had severe IBS since school, I wouldn't want people filming in the room where I was in discomfort and using the loo.
Should she have her phone at school?

Thats your parenting view, not the Ops.

I used to get tiktoks/snapchat videos from mine at school all the time. They wont do it in the playground out of embarrassment, especially around boys.

Op I think all the girls should have been punished and tour child given and extra day as it was her phone but whats done is done. If she appears in a video and they all get done then I would be raising it. Surely whoever caught them can name them?

Filming in toilets is a big safeguarding concern, it's completely inappropriate.

Its not just posting, viewing tiktok is toxic as hell especially for teens

What an absolutely massive non-issue.

Otherwise well behaved teen girls doing a silly thing - it should have been a warning. I definitely wouldn't punish at home. For what?! She hasn't done anything to you. She broke a school rule and it's being dealt with (ridiculously over zealously) by the school.

Op has already said they were the only ones in the toilets. It was mid lesson!

Then it’s job done isn’t it. She’s being punished, you’re annoyed at her, she won’t do it again. What more is there to say?

What if you had walked in and had a stomach bug / diarrhea and had to use one of the toilets whilst the kids were recording a dance video?
I would have been mortified.
I agree with the punishment.

It's probably what they'd class as multiple breaches of school rules. Messing around in the toilets, having her phone out when it's not permitted and also recording which is a safeguarding/privacy issue, regardless of whether she was going to upload it. Having a phone out, in the toilets of all places, could have other implications too, so that's probably why they've gone for the maximum punishment.

All kids who get caught would say they weren't going to upload it or weren't doing anything wrong. They've just applied the rules without any leniency for her otherwise being a sensible girl because they have to.

At my daughter's school, phones now go into lockable, signal blocking pouches at the start of the day. Phones are banned and obviously too many children just weren't following the rules.

It's hard, it's disappointing, you know your child best so if she's otherwise a good girl it might seem too harsh - a parent who didn't care wouldn't bat an eyelid at a couple of days off school. You obviously do care, that's why you're finding this difficult.

I doubt she'll be any less thought of, her teachers probably feel as disappointed as you are but they'll not hold it against her. Hope she wasn't just following the crowd and her friends got her to use her phone so that they won't get caught with theirs?

I totally hate our schools ridiculous no phone policy - as I believe that young females should have access to a phone before / after school. However I have been very clear that if either of them used a phone during the school day I would support the school in what ever punishment they see fit. You have to let this one go - lesson learnt

YANBU to feel frustrated that your DD did something so stupid. YABU to be frustrated with the school’s response.

If your DD is such a good kid as you’ve described her, she won’t make this mistake again.

Recording equipment in the toilets, and not acting appropriately while on a movement break

As a teen this is 100 percent something I would have done! As an adult I 100 percent understand why the school have taken this so seriously and I think they are doing the right thing. They broke two school rules which are both there for safeguarding reasons and the importance of that needs to be forced home. Teenagers do not always appreciate how easily they can put themselves at risk because many of them, fortunately, have not yet been exposed to the darker side of society.

Only if filming people without consent- they were the only girls in the toilets, doing tiktok dances. I wish people would stop throwing around the term safeguarding so flippantly without actually working in safeguarding or knowing what it entails

But another pupil could have walked in needing a shit and how embarrassing would that have been for them. And they may have been caught on camera and the video probably would have been shared had your daughter not been caught.
Kids go to the toilet mid lesson.
It's totally inapropriate.

It's a doddle 😂 seriously though hopefully this might give her a nudge in the right direction, there was no real SM when mine were that age so. I didn't have this issue, but teenagers just want to fit in with their friends , phones and tik tok must drive teachers and parents up the wall.

Delete her TikTok account, removal of her phone until she can be trusted not to misuse it.