Im a minger Help!!!!

For goodness sake, I think OP can be trusted to know what size she is!

It’s mad! I think people presume size 18 equals looking massive when it looks so different on everyone

Your hiding your shape.. Halara jeans are amazing soft stretchy and comfortable.
Get high waisted to pull you in at the waist nice short fitted jumpers or tops .
Go to the hairdressers get your hair styled or coloured .
Try some soft false lashes natural three quarter ones bit of liippy and plan a date night with hubby x

Size is just a clothes size. OP doesn't look massive.

What are women around you wearing op? Friends, family, neighbours, colleagues?

Practically everyone I see is in a very similar style ie short jackets, wide trousers, trainers. It’s like a uniform. I am surprised you chose that jumper and trousers you have on as I don’t see anyone dressed like that. Everyone young and old is in a similar style with younger women in a tighter top and baggier trousers and older women in an age appropriate version of that. I have friends in their 70s and one in their 80s and they look fantastic.

I think a pp said it, maybe you are not really into fashion so don’t have an eye for what looks good. However M&S has a lot of the current trends so have a look online. They often style the whole outfit giving you suggestions for bags, jackets, shoes to go with trousers for example. Buy the whole lot and try it on or go into the store!

I bought that jumper, too, OP, and sent it back. No style tips from me, as clearly I know nothing, beyond:
Go to the shops and try things on. Lots of things..
Take a reliable friend if you can.
Go to M&S. You can be comfortable and reasonably stylish for not too much money (I’ve had great trousers from there for £20 a pop).
There is much to be said for being comfortable and happy in what you are wearing, whether it is the dernier cri or not.

What on earth is the point of asking for makeup tips but concealing your face?

Skincare is the most important, followed by a good haircut. Upthread, there was vg advice about make-up. My DD told me: "Don't go out without at least a bit of blusher", so I don't. I add to that some charcoal eye-shadow on upper lid & a bit of mascara & that's it. Recently, I saw Sian Phillips, in the flesh, close up, and she had charcoaled eyelids & the merest brush of blusher under her cheekbones. She's 94 & she looked fab.
I also am size 18 & always on the look-out for swing-top tunics with a V-neck or a boat-neck to wear with joggers or loose jersey trousers. Occasionally, M&S have something really nice. Otherwise, I buy in the sales from Poetry and Sahara. And I go for plain colours or small geometric prints, nothing big or flowery or fancy.

a while ago I used one of those online stylists who talk about style archetypes. I was a mother/ queen mix so leaned onto that. I get compliments on my “look” all the time now. I’m also mid fifties and now feel better than I did in my twenties.

I'm wearing a Seasalt 3/4-length Mac which I bought 3 or 4 years ago. It has a standup collar with a detachable hood, a front zipper & other side-pocket zippers. Nice teal colour. I think it's stylish. It's v hard wearing, been through the washing machine a couple of times. Suits me.

I second the Laura Gellar makeup! It's designed for mature skin and it's fantastic.
I also enjoyed having my colours and styles assessed a few years ago with House of Colour. I had a one on one day with a consultant which was very interesting, then I went shopping with a friend who is very into fashion and I let her dress me.
It was great fun!
You'll be looking glam in no time!

I'm seeing

I think it's time to look at why you think you're a minger. Did your beautiful husband used to say kind things about you and he no longer does? Did someone else say something to you? Or is this just coming from inside your head? If the first, maybe just ask him...if the second, why does that person's opinion weigh so heavily? If the third (which I suspect) maybe it's time to confront your skeletons. Are you having issues about aging? Are you feeling you're missing out by being at home all the time? Do you wish your dh would celebrate you more? I don't think it has to do with how you look. Personally, I don't even change out of my pajamas some days! You certainly don't look sloppy or disheveled.

Someone girl get a grip
You don't look overweight. Get yourself a good hairdo then into town for a makeup session. Then some new clothes.It" s unfair but men always age better than women.

It's a very nice jumper. I had one, long ago, almost identical, and I loved it. But then I "disadvantageously" washed it in the washing machine. And that was the end of that.

But OP's jumper needs to be paired with different trousers/jeans. And, if OP mainly works indoors as a housewife/carer, then she needs easy, forgiving & light clothes which stay with her throughout the day. Basically, that means jersey fabrics.
It is possible to find good, fashionable, stylish day-to-day clothing in jersey, but you do really have to look hard. When you find a designer/manufacturer who makes stuff you like, then you stick with them and wait for the Sales.

Use AI to get your colours done so you know what works for you or what “season” you are. Makes choosing clothes much easier. I used to wear black all the time and really drab baggy loose tops and trousers with a cardigan in winter. Caught sight of myself in a shopping centre one day and was horrified. A friend who was a Savile row tailor told me the ‘rules’ of shape for my size (busty so v necks, nothing boxy, sleeves that started properly at the shoulder, not sloping or raglan etc as I need structure). It’s taken a while to get a wardrobe together but I look fairly pulled together now and know that I’ve got items if I need to be really smart at the office. Makes a huge difference to confidence knowing what every thing works. Get AI to assess your body type and colours and start from there. There are lots of threads on MN with style advice as well. Good luck!

Sympathies, my husband is getting hotter with age too. He was always striking looking, but his peers haven't kept up (nor me!). He's tall, slim and stylish and with great hair and jawline. He's been spotted by model agents. 🙄

I would never describe myself as a minger, but I'm also a size 18 and unfortunately my face puts all the weight on so I look even bigger.

I try to remember he's my lifelong partner and not get insecure. 😆

But it does keep me a little on my toes, I'm not gonna lie. Here's actually what I do to keep up:

1. I do keep up dying my hair to its natural dark brown, and fortunately my hair is still long. I dye my eyebrows the same, and this really helps me feel younger. With this, I dab on a light bit of Max factor solid face make-up plus a lip and cheek stain. If I can be bothered, when my eyebrows are looking thin, I use a bit of eyebrow "pomade". Every so often I do a kohl eyeliner, and it looks great, but its like twice a year because I usually cba.

2. I wear a well fitting bra and my boobs are big, so I try to avoid the "bust" monoboob look. V-necks, empire lines, long, flowing skirts and fitted tops. These all work well to give me at least a feminine shape. I do also have working on the garden "off days" when I wear dungarees, so I'm by no means a glamour queen. I do make a bit more effort when I'm going out in public with him.

3. Outerwear - I have two expensive coats that are now as old as the hills but still look smart. I find as I get older, money works wonders with a bag and coat. I have a huge, sweeping, wool coat from Toast which covers a multitude of sins. I also have a fitted Ilse Jacobsen navy waterproof jacket in size 20. It's slightly fitted into a female shape and is the only larger sized one that wasn't a tent.

4. Nightwear. I usually wear comfy men's style flannel PJs day to day, but I make sure I have at least one silk nightdress for when I'm in the mood for feeling a bit special. Tbh I rarely wear it but if I feel insecure I can.

Apart from these basics, I usually try to mix in some younger styles of clothing for when I'm in the mood or when I'm going out to an occasion or event.

Finally, although I guess I do make a bit of an effort, life's too short to worry. I do think him being so slim and good-looking has kept me on my toes. But I'm not insecure about any differential. I'm interesting and fabulous in my own way, and he's never made me feel insecure. If anything he makes me feel like I'm the hot one. I read a book called "The Affair-proof marriage" decades ago, when some of our peers were breaking up, and it did teach me something about making the effort for each other.

I am 63 years old and have always used Elemis skin products and I don't mind saying so myself, my skin looks pretty good for my age. Highly recommend 👍

You might want to look at Vivienne Truran on Facebook. She is a good bit older than you but probably a similar size/shape and she puts together very stylish outfits from a range of shops/Vinted/charity. More importantly she treats clothes and styling as fun, which is what it should be.

There's a lovely you tuber called Rosie Henshaw and she does lots of try on hauls from m&s, TU, George at Asda, Sainsbury's, Zara, Freeman's, Primark etc.

She is smaller now but for a long time she was size 16-18 so lots of her videos she is trying on clothes for that size. She chooses some lovely stylish but not expensive outfits. Definitely search her up on You tube for some inspiration.

I followed a tip on here to use Garnier wondertint spf 50.
It is so good and I am someone who has used foundation all of my life but have happily swapped over to this now. I use the lightest shade and then add Bobbi Brown pot rouge for lips and cheeks and mascara.

I would try a tunic dress or looser style knit dress , warm tights and see how you feel . So very comfy for wfh and so easy , one piece to decide on and some tights.
Also, what colour really suits you?
A good starting point.

I’d be careful of using bare minerals, especially if your skin is dry. I’ve changed recently to NARS tinted moisturiser and it gives a very gentle glow with out caking or looking over made up, If your skin looks glows it makes you look younger and your skin fresher, a mat look is ageing. (Beauty therapist & makeup artist here) 😁
A cream blush on the apples of your cheeks, natural lip tint and mascara in any shade apart from jet black will look good too. I love the Next 4 way stretch in boot cut, very flattering too. Horizontal stripes draw the eye across the body, so give an illusion of making you look wider, also a v neck is better for a large bust, anything else makes you look as if you have a mono boob. A basic t shirt with an open shirt is a casual look too. Good luck and hope to see some photos of your make-over, but you are no way a minger ☺️

You said " what do you recommend for a woman mid 50s?" That's lumping an age group together 🤷‍♀️

So you’re a light summer, then need to embrace those colours, not the ones you are wearing in that pic. I suggest you follow Stylemehappy on Facebook, and join the community. Loads of interaction with like minded people and lots of helpful styling suggestions. Just a lovely, helpful group of ladies supporting a d helping each other 😊