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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Housekeeper playing music- aibu?

490 replies

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:24

I live in a large house on a farm. I have a housekeeper who comes in each day between 10-6.

Today I was in the garden and she drove up to the house and parked outside. I could hear her music which annoyed me because I moved to the country for peace and quiet. It wasn't blasting but I don't want to hear any music while I'm outside.

I told her she's not allowed to play music while she's driving on the farm and she seemed a bit upset and was much quieter than normal. I think that might have to do with her personal circumstances because she's currently getting divorced.

Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Trottersup · 22/10/2026 19:44

If this is true I'm Nelson Mandela.

ALJT · 22/10/2026 19:44

I’d quit my job if I was her, couldn’t be chewed with someone whinging about playing music in my car as I drive into work.

QuestionableMouse · 22/10/2026 19:46

ALJT · 22/10/2026 19:44

I’d quit my job if I was her, couldn’t be chewed with someone whinging about playing music in my car as I drive into work.

You also apparently couldn't be chewed to read the OP's updates.

It would provide a lot of context.

Newyearawaits · 22/10/2026 19:47

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:28

She had it playing for a couple of minutes while she was gathering her things.

I think she should have turned it off as soon as she stopped the car.

Yabvu

RationallyAngry · 22/10/2026 19:51

What a lovely resolution to the thread.

I hope everyone's ailments improve and harmony is restored.

QuestionableMouse · 22/10/2026 20:02

@NoMusicPlease

Will you let us know how she is please?

Cyclebabble · 22/10/2026 20:02

Either rage bait or frankly you are really quite unkind.

FatherDickByrneV · 22/10/2026 20:04

I think because this thread was posted to Facebook is the reason people are reacting to your first post so harshly OP. I think you've redeemed yourself and your housekeeper will be very grateful for your kind gestures. We all fuck up occasionally. I hope you're feeling more like yourself soon. Try to get some sleep. ☺️

Original poster
NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 20:09

FatherDickByrneV · 22/10/2026 20:04

I think because this thread was posted to Facebook is the reason people are reacting to your first post so harshly OP. I think you've redeemed yourself and your housekeeper will be very grateful for your kind gestures. We all fuck up occasionally. I hope you're feeling more like yourself soon. Try to get some sleep. ☺️

What? What do you mean it was posted on Facebook?

OP posts:
Original poster
NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 20:10

FatherDickByrneV · 22/10/2026 20:04

I think because this thread was posted to Facebook is the reason people are reacting to your first post so harshly OP. I think you've redeemed yourself and your housekeeper will be very grateful for your kind gestures. We all fuck up occasionally. I hope you're feeling more like yourself soon. Try to get some sleep. ☺️

Thank you for the well wishes though, very much appreciated.

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 22/10/2026 20:12

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 20:09

What? What do you mean it was posted on Facebook?

Show quote history

Mumsnet posted your thread on Facebook so it’s for some separate comments on there too

Anarchy99 · 22/10/2026 20:14

Are you the poster that was whining about your cleaner touching your stuff and using your Alexa the other week?

Nursegladys2 · 22/10/2026 20:16

And here it is, the mumsnet humble brag of the day. OP you'd hate me. I blast loud rock music wherever I go 🤘🤘🤘

shuggles · 22/10/2026 20:20

I liked OP's character development in this thread. She went from unpleasant music suppressor to being the hero that fixes the housekeeper's dental issue.

VividPinkTraybake · 22/10/2026 20:26

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 22/10/2026 16:38

This is a rage bait thread again, it's so fucking boring now.
Posh rich stuck up woman denies cleaner basic common courtesy, that'll get the women frothing and upset eh?

I mean, to be fair it has. And the same people frothing at will turn round and give advice and say "trust your instincts."

And yes I have read all the o.p's posts and still concur

BeatrizBoniface · 22/10/2026 20:26

shuggles · 22/10/2026 20:20

I liked OP's character development in this thread. She went from unpleasant music suppressor to being the hero that fixes the housekeeper's dental issue.

I know! It's like one of those dramas on ITV3, except in that the housekeeper would be now plotting to kill her.

VividPinkTraybake · 22/10/2026 20:26

shuggles · 22/10/2026 20:20

I liked OP's character development in this thread. She went from unpleasant music suppressor to being the hero that fixes the housekeeper's dental issue.

Like a choose your own adventure novel really

Waitingfordoggo · 22/10/2026 20:31

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 20:09

What? What do you mean it was posted on Facebook?

Show quote history

MN sometimes share threads on FB if they’re seen as particularly interesting or controversial or have a lot of traffic. (It’s one of the reasons I hardly ever start threads and if I do, they’re very boring ones).

pinck · 22/10/2026 20:32

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:24

I live in a large house on a farm. I have a housekeeper who comes in each day between 10-6.

Today I was in the garden and she drove up to the house and parked outside. I could hear her music which annoyed me because I moved to the country for peace and quiet. It wasn't blasting but I don't want to hear any music while I'm outside.

I told her she's not allowed to play music while she's driving on the farm and she seemed a bit upset and was much quieter than normal. I think that might have to do with her personal circumstances because she's currently getting divorced.

Was I being unreasonable?

Okay, when I read the title I thought she was blasting her own music inside your house while cleaning, but apparently the crime here is that your housekeeper had the audacity to listen to music in her own fucking car while driving to work and it wasn't even loud? Jesus Christ. “Unreasonable” is certainly one word for your behavior, but it's nowhere near the first one that comes to mind. Imagine having a house so large you need someone cleaning it every day and still managing to be this fucking miserable because you briefly heard music outside and then suggesting her being upset must be because she's getting divorced rather than because her employer is an insufferable control freak. Absolutely incredible.

BeatrizBoniface · 22/10/2026 20:33

Waitingfordoggo · 22/10/2026 20:31

MN sometimes share threads on FB if they’re seen as particularly interesting or controversial or have a lot of traffic. (It’s one of the reasons I hardly ever start threads and if I do, they’re very boring ones).

Show quote history

Some of them get picked up by the tabloids, don't they?. I've seen that happen.

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 22/10/2026 20:37

She should've found her forelock, tugged it and profusely apologised to you.

QuestionableMouse · 22/10/2026 20:37

pinck · 22/10/2026 20:32

Okay, when I read the title I thought she was blasting her own music inside your house while cleaning, but apparently the crime here is that your housekeeper had the audacity to listen to music in her own fucking car while driving to work and it wasn't even loud? Jesus Christ. “Unreasonable” is certainly one word for your behavior, but it's nowhere near the first one that comes to mind. Imagine having a house so large you need someone cleaning it every day and still managing to be this fucking miserable because you briefly heard music outside and then suggesting her being upset must be because she's getting divorced rather than because her employer is an insufferable control freak. Absolutely incredible.

Show quote history

All that nastiness when you didn't read past the first post. 🙄🙄

Original poster
NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 20:39

Anarchy99 · 22/10/2026 20:14

Are you the poster that was whining about your cleaner touching your stuff and using your Alexa the other week?

No. I've only posted under this username.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 20:40

She's back with antibiotics and painkillers. Had to have the tooth out unfortunately but hopefully it'll heal quickly ☺️

OP posts:
pinck · 22/10/2026 20:44

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 18:00

Of course I'd (offer to) pay. She's on a very good hourly rate (£27ph)

Show quote history

Lol, $27 an hour isn't even a particularly good wage for housecleaning, let alone the exceptionally generous rate you seem to think it is. My parents had a cleaner come weekly over 20 years ago and because my mom was an absolute neat freak, they were only at our house for about 2–3 hours and yet they paid $100 per visit, which worked out to roughly $35–$50 an hour, OVER TWO DECADES AGO. We pay our cleaner more than that now, so I'm really not sure why you think $27 an hour in 2026 is some incredible act of generosity.

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