Housekeeper playing music- aibu?

OP I’m so sorry you’re getting such a slating on here, and obviously of course for the migraines and the terrible accident you had.

This was really quite a heartwarming post (apart from all the people who just pile in without reading the OP’s updates) - it’s supremely human to mess up a bit (and let’s face it who hasn’t had a bad day, felt in pain or unwell or just been v tired and snapped at someone but then regretted it) - to then acknowledge that, apologise and try to make it up to the person. All the people saying “oh well apologising and getting her a dentist appointment etc doesn’t undo the fact you spoke to her like shit” - I certainly don’t get the impression from the OP’s posts that this was anything other than a very out of character incident - everyone messes up sometimes. I think it’s how you take it from there that shows someone’s real character, and owning it and trying to make amends is really all anyone can ask.

As an aside I am intrigued by the people saying the housekeeper is being underpaid. I don’t know what the holiday/sick pay / pension arrangements are, but annualised that is not a bad salary at all, particularly taking in location, but that’s before you factor in the free accommodation which is by far and away the largest expense most people have in their budgets.

Only one poster is banging on about the salary, but they’re an American, so go figure.

Casual American bashing, how lovely ... what exactly does my nationality have to do with any of this?

It demonstrates that your experience and opinion of salaries is unreliable to us.

That's not why you said it and you know it. Plenty of people already pointed out the salary differences but you just couldn't resist throwing in a cheap dig at Americans.

Plenty of people have pointed out lots of things to you, but yet you’re still banging on…

I am also American and agree with the other posters. No American bashing here. Just pointing out that someone clueless about pay in other countries should not comment.

My husband is Irish and has worked for UK companies in he past so I'm well aware of how poorly UK jobs can pay compared with American ones but apparently you're American too so that makes you an expert while I'm somehow clueless? Alright, funny how that works.

You are obviously just here looking for a fight. Why don’t you find a thread where others are interested? I see there are some active ones about Thomas Markle right now. You can bring your knowledge about Northwestern and the cost of attending.

@OneSparklyGoat That poster was on another thread recently looking for a fight. Just a really obnoxious and aggressive tone and disagreeing with absolutely everyone just for the sake of it. Seems very unhappy, which may well be the case due to the aforementioned health issues. It’s a shame to direct that sadness and frustration outwards to strangers though. Hopefully pinc will learn that sitting with their anger will help them to understand it and process it in a healthier way.

@Waitingfordoggo Love your user name.

Thank you @OneSparklyGoat, yours is rather lovely too!

Thats mean.

I've only read the first page so there may have been lots of developments, but I've moved recently and had a lot of tradespeople in and I've been really shocked that they bring their own radio or Bluetooth speakers and play music loudly. I thought they would ask permission first, I wouldn't dream of doing that in someone else's house. I realize this is not the situation in the OP though.

I think it’s common. Electrician recently played the full Phil Collins No Jacket Required album on his phone while he worked at our house.

But there was more to this story and it’s been happily resolved for both parties.

I don’t mind workers having music on as long as it’s not too loud, but I’d draw the line at Phil Collins.

I just wanted to post to note that you're incredibly argumentative today @pinck. You seem to be having a go at anyone in your wake. I expect i'll be next! Hope you're ok though.

I'd expect to be asked to play any sort of sound device. I might not approve of the music or even want any additional noise.

It set me back. That’s for sure.

The painters were blasting 80s hair bands recently, too but they had the run of the house and it was hard to say “You can’t listen to that even when we are not here!”

That's great. I'm glad you have realised your mistake and seen the light as such.
Listen we all have bad days. And snapped, sometimes at a petty little thing which just seems to get to you.
As for the private dentist I think that's a wonderful gesture and could be seen as a bit of a duty of care to em employee. Look at it that way.

Hopefully you can draw a line under it now and start afresh with better understanding of each other.

No I haven’t read all of your many posts, no one with a life has time for that 😂
However, if you had read all of the OP’s posts you would know that she is severely disabled which explains the need for a full time housekeeper - I wouldn’t be making any sweeping assumptions on her wealth based on what she has said.

Yes it was an ‘internship’ as you call it in the US. I was still a fully qualified vet, performing the duties of a fully qualified vet, and working all the hours god sends. This was only 10 years ago but it works much the same now, so you must be a bit clueless if that’s a revelation to you. Lots of newly qualified UK vets do a stint in the US, and we get a lot of US vets doing the same over here. I was then offered a residency on the match system, but chose to complete that in the UK for the better pay and working conditions! But don’t feel sorry for me, feel sorry for the poor Latinos that get shipped in to do the horse handling. They earned even less than me and were putting their lives on the line hand-recovering horses from anaesthetic! (We categorically do not do this in the UK! Too much H&S!)

I’m well aware of the going rate for household staff as, thanks to DH, I’m in a fairly wealthy set now despite my own modest salary. And 6 figure staff salaries are absolutely unheard of IME. Housekeepers, cleaners etc work very hard and do a great job but they are essentially UNSKILLED. I hark back to my experiences in the US - I worked in a large hospital but even the more experienced associates weren’t on £120k ($160 because I’m not convinced you understand exchange rates). Only the partners were on that kind of money.

You are either extremely ignorant of how some professions operate in your own country, or rage baiting.

The epitome of first world problems. Imagine having so little to complain about that you were triggered by this. Just dreadful.

I used to live in a "posh" road. One day I arrived home listening to one of my fav rock tunes on the car radio. It hadn't finished so I turned up the volume and bass and sat and listened to it until the end, thd car was rocking. My neighbours either side came out to see who the "yobs" were in their car disturbing the peace. I got out when it finished, collected my things, said "Great tune" to the neighbours and went indoors 🤣 They never quite knew what to make of me as I held a senior role in my career, was always suited and booted but now and then would throw them a curve ball. Playing a couple on minutes music while getting her stuff together is nothing. Are you the type that moves to thd country then complains that the foxes/owls/deer make noise and keep you awake at night?, 🤔