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AIBU?

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Original poster

Housekeeper playing music- aibu?

490 replies

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:24

I live in a large house on a farm. I have a housekeeper who comes in each day between 10-6.

Today I was in the garden and she drove up to the house and parked outside. I could hear her music which annoyed me because I moved to the country for peace and quiet. It wasn't blasting but I don't want to hear any music while I'm outside.

I told her she's not allowed to play music while she's driving on the farm and she seemed a bit upset and was much quieter than normal. I think that might have to do with her personal circumstances because she's currently getting divorced.

Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
pinck · Yesterday 17:28

OneSparklyGoat · Yesterday 17:21

Why are you continuing to criticise the OP after indicating you understood?

As someone familiar with both economies, it sounds like you are just looking to be right even after apologising.

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Um, I'm not but I still think it was shitty of the OP to yell at her cleaner and I absolutely think she should be paid more considering everything she does for her employer. She's clearly doing far more than just cleaning the house.

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 17:30

pinck · Yesterday 17:28

Um, I'm not but I still think it was shitty of the OP to yell at her cleaner and I absolutely think she should be paid more considering everything she does for her employer. She's clearly doing far more than just cleaning the house.

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You still here banging on about not liking what OP did? We get it, you think she was shitty, well done.

OneSparklyGoat · Yesterday 17:31

pinck · Yesterday 17:28

Um, I'm not but I still think it was shitty of the OP to yell at her cleaner and I absolutely think she should be paid more considering everything she does for her employer. She's clearly doing far more than just cleaning the house.

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The issue is resolved. The OP has more than rectified it. No need to keep beating her up.

You said you don’t know about the economics of the UK. Growing up rich in another country does give you any credibility with respect to that topic.

pinck · Yesterday 17:33

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 17:30

You still here banging on about not liking what OP did? We get it, you think she was shitty, well done.

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What, so you think it's perfectly acceptable to yell at your employees? Got it.

OneSparklyGoat · Yesterday 17:35

pinck · Yesterday 17:33

What, so you think it's perfectly acceptable to yell at your employees? Got it.

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Seems like your prior apologies to the OP were not genuine.

I, for one am very sorry she was goaded into sharing her health details with you. You didn’t deserve to know that.

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 17:36

pinck · Yesterday 17:33

What, so you think it's perfectly acceptable to yell at your employees? Got it.

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No, but you don’t need to pop on and say it at least once an hour, go get a life, read a book, find another thread… you’ve said it every way it can be said, you’ve been vile to OP multiple times, had posts deleted, been rude to loads of strangers. Why are you so incredibly invested in this thread?

Sussexserpents · Yesterday 17:37

pinck · Yesterday 17:33

What, so you think it's perfectly acceptable to yell at your employees? Got it.

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No one thinks that!!!! Everyone is in agreement - including now the OP - that what she did was wrong. But all of us in the UK think the wage plus accommodation is very good for the role and the location. We honestly don’t care what your parents paid in Chicago to your cleaner who would have had to pay their own health insurance.

Balloonhearts · Yesterday 17:41

NoMusicPlease · Yesterday 00:00

You have no idea what I've been through. You're using me as a punching bag right now and that's really not okay.

I suggest it's time for you to step away from this thread.

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Tbf you used her as a punching bag, so getting a taste of your own medicine was inevitable. What you put out there is what you get back.

pinck · Yesterday 17:41

OneSparklyGoat · Yesterday 17:35

Seems like your prior apologies to the OP were not genuine.

I, for one am very sorry she was goaded into sharing her health details with you. You didn’t deserve to know that.

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Um, I didn't make her do anything and I did apologize to her once I understood her circumstances but then you all kept doubling down and defending her for berating her cleaner in person while criticizing me for supposedly “yelling” at someone online. Like, what? Also, I'm hardly the only person who told her she was out of line so I've no idea why you're so obsessed with me.

OneSparklyGoat · Yesterday 17:43

pinck · Yesterday 17:41

Um, I didn't make her do anything and I did apologize to her once I understood her circumstances but then you all kept doubling down and defending her for berating her cleaner in person while criticizing me for supposedly “yelling” at someone online. Like, what? Also, I'm hardly the only person who told her she was out of line so I've no idea why you're so obsessed with me.

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I have not defended anyone. But you keep beating her up.

Obviously you have your own reasons for being so cruel. Hope that people will be gracious to you about your mistakes when you bother to admit them. You’ve been nothing of the sort to the OP.

restingbitchface30 · Yesterday 17:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Zerosleep · Yesterday 18:05

What a crappy way to behave, you are a misery. What harm has she caused.

Lyraloo · Yesterday 18:06

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:28

She had it playing for a couple of minutes while she was gathering her things.

I think she should have turned it off as soon as she stopped the car.

That’s because your a self entitled t* !

ToKittyornottoKitty · Yesterday 18:07

Lyraloo · Yesterday 18:06

That’s because your a self entitled t* !

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🙄

GoldenGail · Yesterday 18:07

Is your name Megan by any chance?

Tuesdayschild50 · Yesterday 18:08

Seriously wouldn't want to work for you .. you can't tell her she isnt allowed to play music.. who upset you jeeze .

Bartonzam · Yesterday 18:09

Yes. Totally.

Biscuitjockey · Yesterday 18:13

You can’t control what she does while driving her own car. She works for you, you’re not her owner.

Biscuitjockey · Yesterday 18:16

You’re abysmal. Take the stick out your bottom and hit it over your head. Hopefully some sense may prevail!

AngelRoja · Yesterday 18:19

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:28

She had it playing for a couple of minutes while she was gathering her things.

I think she should have turned it off as soon as she stopped the car.

For heavens sake! If she was playing loud music whilst she works, you would have a reason to ask her nicely to turn it down, but in her own car driving up.and the leaving FOR A FEW MINUTES.......ordering her to turn it off on your property is going too far.

We are not in the age of Downtown Abbey anymore!

You could easily have asked her politely to turn it down a bit, but forbidding her is not a good look for you.

EDITED. Just read your replies and wish you had added a few more pieces of relevant information in your original post. It would have changed my response

Glad you sorted ot all out

BobbySox71 · Yesterday 18:38

I thought this was a wind up, I grew up on farms and they’re anything but quiet

Excellentvintage · Yesterday 18:41

This is a wind up surely?!

sociallydistained · Yesterday 18:46

Wow some employers are bloody awful. As someone who also works in private homes I’d be devastated being told this was such a problem for you. Maybe see her as a human being and stop being a Scrooge!

BeKhakiReader · Yesterday 18:51

pinck · Yesterday 17:33

What, so you think it's perfectly acceptable to yell at your employees? Got it.

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Christ. Are you STILL at it. Give yourself the day off. Can’t be good for your health, all this bile.

Purpl · Yesterday 18:58

God what a bloody misery you are. Best do own cleaning.