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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Housekeeper playing music- aibu?

490 replies

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:24

I live in a large house on a farm. I have a housekeeper who comes in each day between 10-6.

Today I was in the garden and she drove up to the house and parked outside. I could hear her music which annoyed me because I moved to the country for peace and quiet. It wasn't blasting but I don't want to hear any music while I'm outside.

I told her she's not allowed to play music while she's driving on the farm and she seemed a bit upset and was much quieter than normal. I think that might have to do with her personal circumstances because she's currently getting divorced.

Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
pinck · 22/10/2026 22:38

ItsAllAboutTheSideQuests · 22/10/2026 22:21

Your parents were mugs (and you are very rude and shouty). Here in 2026 West London, my cleaner comes for 2 hours a week and charges £18.50ph.

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Nah, my parents just aren't cheap bastards and that was a perfectly normal rate for the affluent Chicago suburb I grew up in, just as £18.50 an hour is apparently a perfectly good local rate in your area now which, once again, rather illustrates my point about how much lower wages in the UK are compared to those in the US and several other wealthy European countriesbut surely you already knew that?

Dweetfidilove · 22/10/2026 22:39

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 22/10/2026 17:13

If this isn’t bait come the glorious day of the revolution I think your housekeeper will want you first up against the wall 😭😭

🤣🤣👏🏾👏🏾

QuestionableMouse · 22/10/2026 22:43

pinck · 22/10/2026 22:38

Nah, my parents just aren't cheap bastards and that was a perfectly normal rate for the affluent Chicago suburb I grew up in, just as £18.50 an hour is apparently a perfectly good local rate in your area now which, once again, rather illustrates my point about how much lower wages in the UK are compared to those in the US and several other wealthy European countriesbut surely you already knew that?

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Did your parents also give their housekeeper a free house with all bills paid? What your parents did 20 years ago in another country really isn't relevant.

You can be an aggy bugger all you like but £27 is a very good wage, especially in the North East of England.

QuestionableMouse · 22/10/2026 22:44

Dweetfidilove · 22/10/2026 22:39

🤣🤣👏🏾👏🏾

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I don't know why you're happy, that's an utterly disgusting thing to say.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 22/10/2026 22:44

This is crazy. Of course she can play music in her own car!

BeKhakiReader · 22/10/2026 22:46

QuestionableMouse · 22/10/2026 22:43

Did your parents also give their housekeeper a free house with all bills paid? What your parents did 20 years ago in another country really isn't relevant.

You can be an aggy bugger all you like but £27 is a very good wage, especially in the North East of England.

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I think that poster must be drunk or something. They’re posting extremely excessive things. Best to ignore.

pinck · 22/10/2026 22:48

QuestionableMouse · 22/10/2026 22:43

Did your parents also give their housekeeper a free house with all bills paid? What your parents did 20 years ago in another country really isn't relevant.

You can be an aggy bugger all you like but £27 is a very good wage, especially in the North East of England.

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No, bu if the cleaner lives on the property with all her bills paid that makes the original complaint even more fucking ridiculous. You're telling me this woman can't even listen to music in her own car while driving around the property she also lives on? Jesus Christ.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 22/10/2026 22:50

Sorry just read your updates.

montysmaw · 22/10/2026 22:50

So she had music on in her own car whilst driving to work. And you have a problem with this ?
Utter weirdo.

Junglejune · 22/10/2026 22:50

harbourlightsbaby · 22/10/2026 18:00

Ah, I just see that you’ve apologised. I’ve had a bad day, a customer, when I tried to help them, told me ‘ I don’t need your help, I’m a fully qualified medical doctor, you’re just a supermarket worker’. So your post touched a nerve tbh. I left her to struggle for ages with the self service checkout, I guess there a different kinds of smart.

That is one of the rudest things I’ve ever heard. You don’t deserve any less respect than a medical doctor. Why do people think earning more money and having a string of qualifications makes them more valuable than other people.

Obviously we can’t do without doctors but we can also not do without plumbers, street cleaners, teachers, carers and people who work in shops (not lumping these professions together - just listing a range of them). If I had been your manager I’d be minded to suggest she shop elsewhere!

pinck · 22/10/2026 22:51

BeKhakiReader · 22/10/2026 22:46

I think that poster must be drunk or something. They’re posting extremely excessive things. Best to ignore.

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Lol, so let me get this straight, y'all are happily defending someone for berating her housekeeper over playing FOUR MINUTES of music in her own car but I'm apparently the unreasonable one for calling it out and now I must be drunk? Yeah, okay, the lack of self-awareness here is genuinely astounding.

ItsAllAboutTheSideQuests · 22/10/2026 22:54

pinck · 22/10/2026 22:51

Lol, so let me get this straight, y'all are happily defending someone for berating her housekeeper over playing FOUR MINUTES of music in her own car but I'm apparently the unreasonable one for calling it out and now I must be drunk? Yeah, okay, the lack of self-awareness here is genuinely astounding.

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"Yeah, okay, the lack of self-awareness here is genuinely astounding."

Yes.

Jk987 · 22/10/2026 23:02

Get real OP.

Original poster
NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 23:11

pinck · 22/10/2026 22:48

No, bu if the cleaner lives on the property with all her bills paid that makes the original complaint even more fucking ridiculous. You're telling me this woman can't even listen to music in her own car while driving around the property she also lives on? Jesus Christ.

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I'd genuinely like to hear your opinion on how much I should be paying.

OP posts:
Original poster
NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 23:11

Jk987 · 22/10/2026 23:02

Get real OP.

Please read all of my posts.

OP posts:
pinck · 22/10/2026 23:16

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 23:11

I'd genuinely like to hear your opinion on how much I should be paying.

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You have the internet and if you're wealthy enough to own a house that apparently needs eight hours of cleaning every single day I'd imagine you can also afford an estate manager or someone else to help you figure out the going rate so why the hell are you asking Mumsnet?

Yogabearmous · 22/10/2026 23:17

im calling troll on this one .

SeraphionLightbringer · 22/10/2026 23:19

How dare The Help do such a thing. Does she expect to be paid as well? #gasp 😮

HexagonalConfederacy · 22/10/2026 23:21

What a great post to read on here for once! We can’t always behave perfectly in life, but being able to recognise mistakes, apologise and move forward with kindness and generosity, that’s what counts.

Original poster
NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 23:24

pinck · 22/10/2026 23:16

You have the internet and if you're wealthy enough to own a house that apparently needs eight hours of cleaning every single day I'd imagine you can also afford an estate manager or someone else to help you figure out the going rate so why the hell are you asking Mumsnet?

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What is your problem?!

OP posts:
Original poster
NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 23:24

SeraphionLightbringer · 22/10/2026 23:19

How dare The Help do such a thing. Does she expect to be paid as well? #gasp 😮

Please read all of my posts. @SeraphionLightbringer

OP posts:
pinck · 22/10/2026 23:26

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 23:24

What is your problem?!

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Nothing, and if you're going to use your ear surgery as some sort of get-out-of-jail-free card for treating people like shit, just wait until you hear what I've been dealing with.

Thingcanonlygetbetter · 22/10/2026 23:30

NoMusicPlease · 22/10/2026 16:24

I live in a large house on a farm. I have a housekeeper who comes in each day between 10-6.

Today I was in the garden and she drove up to the house and parked outside. I could hear her music which annoyed me because I moved to the country for peace and quiet. It wasn't blasting but I don't want to hear any music while I'm outside.

I told her she's not allowed to play music while she's driving on the farm and she seemed a bit upset and was much quieter than normal. I think that might have to do with her personal circumstances because she's currently getting divorced.

Was I being unreasonable?

You can give me a roof over my head and 8 hours of work a day with no commute for 40k and I will allow you to shout at me twice a month. I think you have redeemed yourself OP with the dentist and the apology.

BeKhakiReader · 22/10/2026 23:41

pinck · 22/10/2026 23:26

Nothing, and if you're going to use your ear surgery as some sort of get-out-of-jail-free card for treating people like shit, just wait until you hear what I've been dealing with.

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Talk to someone in real life. I’m genuinely not being snarky. You seem so angry. Your reaction to this is really disproportionate. The OP has apologised and made amends to the lady.

Bedlingtonwarrior · 22/10/2026 23:41

She comes in 10 to 6 every day and you have the temirity to complain about her music.
Have you any idea how entitled and privileged you sound
Catherine Tates posh family comes to mind but you sound worse.
Quick sticks helper find an appreciated employer !!!!