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Original poster

Poking holes in condoms!

437 replies

condomgate · 20/10/2026 11:43

Just to make it absolutely clear, this isn’t about DH and I.

My friend is 3 months pregnant, her husband is in shock because they were using condoms every time and not one split.

She’s just admitted to me that she used a pin to poke holes in them. Now call me naive but one, I thought that a tiny pin hole would not be able to get somebody pregnant and also I think this is a crime? I’m disgusted with her and I did tell her that.

Regular poster, name changed.

DH and I are good friends with her and her DH and I just don’t feel okay about this. I feel like she’s done something so wrong that I want to avoid them for as long as possible.

OP posts:
DebbieSavage · 20/10/2026 12:19

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VinegarBinegar · 20/10/2026 12:19

Daygloboo · 20/10/2026 12:17

Well it's a pretty bad start for rhe kid , knowing it wasnt wanted by one parent. How ridiculous

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Millions of babies who aren’t wanted by one or both parents are born every year. Worse things happen.

LampLightz · 20/10/2026 12:19

SummerAsh · 20/10/2026 12:18

That’s one sick comment, psychopathic even…

Edited
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Ignore, they tend to run around pulling pigtails on most threads.

Daygloboo · 20/10/2026 12:20

AgeingMillennial · 20/10/2026 12:07

I disagree. Stringing a woman along for years while her fertility dwindles and his stays the same (often only to leave her for a younger model and have kids later), is so deeply shitty I couldn’t care less if she pokes a hole in a condom after 6 years of ‘maybe next year’

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Why the hell doesnt she leave. Who the hell wants a kid with a wazzock like that.

EarthSight · 20/10/2026 12:21

PinkAnimalPrint · 20/10/2026 11:47

If this is real, I can’t see why he is in shock given condoms are the least effective form of contraception bar crossing your fingers.

Statistically, that isn't true, and that's an utterly ridiculous thing to say. That falsehood is the reason why many women end up feeling pressured to be on hormonal contraception or being poked and prodded with sometimes devices like the IUD.

SummerAsh · 20/10/2026 12:21

AgeingMillennial · 20/10/2026 12:16

You don’t realise it’s happening until it’s happened.

And meeting a new man isn’t as easy as you flippantly suggest. It can take several years to find a decent one, a few more years of dating… it’s over by then anyway. May as well stick with the man who SAYS he wants them, next year…

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I’m sorry you’ve been screwed over by a man that’s strung you along (you’ve not said it but it’s pretty clear from your posts given the level of bitterness)…. That’s still no excuse for condoning poking holes in condoms.

OrangeFlower14 · 20/10/2026 12:21

I would never speak to her again, and I would tell her why…
And I might actually tell him… she broke it (literally) she can own the mess that results

Daygloboo · 20/10/2026 12:21

Daygloboo · 20/10/2026 12:20

Why the hell doesnt she leave. Who the hell wants a kid with a wazzock like that.

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Lucky kid. Deceitful idiot for a mother and wanker for a father.

BlueMum16 · 20/10/2026 12:21

VinegarBinegar · 20/10/2026 12:03

Condoms are only 85% effective. If he didn’t want kids he should have had a vasectomy or got a divorce and found someone else on the same page.

Likewise she could have moved on and found someone who consented to having children rather than manipulating a situation where he's forced to be a parent.

VinegarBinegar · 20/10/2026 12:21

Daygloboo · 20/10/2026 12:20

Why the hell doesnt she leave. Who the hell wants a kid with a wazzock like that.

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Because often they’ve been together many years and have a comfortable and entwined life, and she’s on the brink of being too old.

Mustreadabook · 20/10/2026 12:22

OriginalSkang · 20/10/2026 11:58

How many do you imagine are getting through a tiny, presumably not visible to the naked eye hole and how long do you imagine it normally takes someone having unprotected sex the normal way to get pregnant?

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sperms are 3 micrometers across apparently. So 300 of them in a line would cross a 1mm hole. .

Sux2buthen · 20/10/2026 12:22

VinegarBinegar · 20/10/2026 12:03

Condoms are only 85% effective. If he didn’t want kids he should have had a vasectomy or got a divorce and found someone else on the same page.

If she did want kids she should have left

VinegarBinegar · 20/10/2026 12:23

BlueMum16 · 20/10/2026 12:21

Likewise she could have moved on and found someone who consented to having children rather than manipulating a situation where he's forced to be a parent.

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Yeah, they both should have communicated and come to a decision together. As it seems from the OP that they’re staying together and having the baby, perhaps the decision would have been to TTC.

Cherrytree86 · 20/10/2026 12:24

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@DebbieSavage

no he can have sex with a condom. That’s literally why they were invented

MyMilchick · 20/10/2026 12:24

AgeingMillennial · 20/10/2026 11:44

Meh.

Do they have kids? What’s the situation?

Don’t blame her if he’s strung her along for years or similar

What a disgusting opinion

Brokentoes85 · 20/10/2026 12:24

Arlanymor · 20/10/2026 11:50

Yes you can get pregnant. It's called stealthing. It's illegal in some countries.

Just going to put this here: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/crime/stealthing-germany-woman-jailed-condoms-b2073579.html

It's reprehensible behaviour.

It's not stealthing by the uks definition.

VinegarBinegar · 20/10/2026 12:26

Sux2buthen · 20/10/2026 12:22

If she did want kids she should have left

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We don’t know the context. If they were settled and committed, and he was happy to have kids, but only wanted to conceive in 2028 because it would otherwise mess with a planned stag do, and his wife is 38, I really can’t see the problem.

Brokentoes85 · 20/10/2026 12:27

2BarbieOrNot2Barbie · 20/10/2026 12:01

Would that not be noticeable? I suppose it depends if it’s the woman only dealing with the condoms.

Nope there are youtube vids on it

Arlanymor · 20/10/2026 12:28

Brokentoes85 · 20/10/2026 12:24

It's not stealthing by the uks definition.

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It's not illegal here either - I was making the point that in countries where it is illegal that is what it is called - sorry if that wasn't clear.

Cherrytree86 · 20/10/2026 12:28

VinegarBinegar · 20/10/2026 12:26

We don’t know the context. If they were settled and committed, and he was happy to have kids, but only wanted to conceive in 2028 because it would otherwise mess with a planned stag do, and his wife is 38, I really can’t see the problem.

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@VinegarBinegar

you are wrong. There is no “context” that justifies such deceit.

EcoChica1980 · 20/10/2026 12:29

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So because no contraception is 100% reliable it is ok to sabotage the contraception that someone else is using in good faith. Got it.

You sound insane.

OriginalSkang · 20/10/2026 12:31

Mustreadabook · 20/10/2026 12:22

sperms are 3 micrometers across apparently. So 300 of them in a line would cross a 1mm hole. .

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To be clear, I don't think this happened at all. I don't think this woman expertly holed condoms without him noticing and difference in the packaging, without them splitting and without him noticing there was sperm missing/leaking out the end when he took it off. If it did she got extremely 'lucky'

lemmein · 20/10/2026 12:31

I’m really shocked by some of the replies.

Tampering with contraception is a despicable thing to do, for either sex. If your DP is ‘stringing you along’ you leave, you don’t force him to become a parent.

Thundertoast · 20/10/2026 12:33

A woman who doesnt give enough a shit about putting their partner who they supposedly love through the pain of a lifelong commitment they didnt want, will not be a good mother. And I bet if someone did that to her son in future she'd be very unimpressed.

Daygloboo · 20/10/2026 12:34

VinegarBinegar · 20/10/2026 12:21

Because often they’ve been together many years and have a comfortable and entwined life, and she’s on the brink of being too old.

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Hm.