Poking holes in condoms!

I am of a similar mindset (female representation in crime fiction is my PhD area) and I am developing the theory that women are just as murderous but have simply been denied opportunity by a patriarchal social structure.

Lady MacBeth and various other murderous literary icons didn’t com from nowhere, but it suited society (Victorians etc) to perceive and frame murderous or criminal women as mentally unwell/insane or trapped into criminality by their vulnerability within that patriarchy. We note that most women tend to commit violent crime in concert with male counterparts and the assumption is always that they were under the spell of their lover or coerced into it - what a turn around it would be if many of them were the manipulators and masterminds. Not weak at all but playing the system to their own ends.

The health implications of a pregnancy.

But as I said, I don’t think it’s ok for a woman to do it either.

You also don’t know for sure that she is pregnant because of the holes that she made

Using a condom with holes poked in is definitely most likely the cause of this pregnancy. He also had sex with her thinking they were using protection!
I think your comment is probably the stupidest one on this thread!

But the woman in this case has taken the risk of health implications of pregnancy by tricking her DH into getting pregnant. You think it’s not comparable because a man can’t get pregnant?

I couldn't be friends with someone so deceitful.

Nothing excuses her behaviour.

A friend of mine was “raped” with an object instead of a penis. She describes it as rape, it absolutely sounds like rape to me and I would never ever argue with her about her choice of definition. If a man told me a woman had done similar to him (inserting an object against his will into his anus) I would never in a million years tell him he had not been raped.

Yes, I think that a woman doing it is indefensible.

I think that a man doing it to a woman is worse. If she is unaware of it, she won’t be able to use emergency contraception. So if she gets pregnant she will have to choose either an abortion or continuing the pregnancy. Both are safe but not without risks of complications. The man doesn’t face these risks.

She used a pin not a hole punch. He'd be too busy thinking about his dick to even notice.

We might have to agree to disagree, I don’t think a man doing it is worse. It is equally as bad whichever way it is done.

Or maybe he wouldn’t even be considering that his wife would betray him like that.

I wonder how many of the 15% failed due to sabotage

This is a crime. Stealthing is rape. If someone did this to my son or daughter, I would hope someone who knew would report it to the police. Like any sexual crime, by definition, it can be hard to prove, before anyone says the police might find it hard to investigate. But if your friend's husband raped her, would you think it wasn't worth reporting because it would be hard to prove? I hope not.
The people saying "he was stringing her along"-would it be ok for a man to do something similar? Yes, the woman carries the child, but no one should be tricked into having a child, not fair on them or the child.
This is a crime. A man refusing to wear a condom and insisting on sex without it is a rapist. If he lies about having the snip/STIs, he's disgusting. What she's doing is just as bad.

But still very very effective! Worked for us for almost 20 years and then I got pregnant 3 times on the first try each time! Genuinely.

Absolutely.

"Show me where this happened to you, on a map. Oh sorry, that's not what that crime is called in that legal jurisdiction" is not a particularly useful approach in a day-to-day context.

The sexes aren't reversed - they're irreversible.

Can you explain what you mean by this, please?

I apologise for reading it in a way you didn't mean it. In my defence, I don't think I'm alone in reading "bitterness" as having at least undertones of judgement towards the way the person is choosing to view things.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, a bitter state of mind reflects a psychological condition marked by acrimony, resentment, and deep-seated ill-will.

Key Characteristics of Bitterness
Resentment: A persistent, lingering feeling of grievance or unfair treatment.
Acrimony: Sharpness or bitterness in speech, temper, or manner.
Fixation: Often rooted in a specific past injury or perceived insult that the mind refuses to let go.

What about if somebody legally changes sex? Then it'd be possible for a woman to rape in law.

The similarity is that you're never responsible for the actions of others, whether that's poking holes in condoms, lying about the pill, or assaulting a woman dressed like a sex worker.

I do think that if a male contraceptive pill ever gets invented, the number of "accidental" pregnancies will plummet!

What happens if you don't want kids for a few years as you haven't got enough money or want a bigger home .... [insert any reason you like here]?

It has been invented but the men had side effects so it was effectively discontinued while they figure out how to make a pill without any / many, there are more in production though so it is a matter of time.. It's okay for women to have suffered through the pages of side effects for years and years though obvs.

I totally agree. There are so many side effects and health risks to all hormonal contraceptives, but women are often expected to turn a blind eye to them. It wouldn't be the way if it was men having to suffer them!
On that note, I do however think women in long-term marriages/relationships need to put their foot down and expect their husband/partner to step up and have a vaesectomy when their family is complete.
No way was I going to stay on hormonal contraceptives for any longer than I had to once I had my final baby - and certainly not on the pill for at least another 15 years plus!!
My husband booked himself in about 6 months after the birth of his first and last and it was absolutely the right thing to do by us all.

I don’t see what’s wrong with condoms tbh. I would rather them than either my DH or I having to chop our bodies up. And I certainly wouldn’t “expect” anyone to chop their body up on my say so, and I wouldn’t be with someone who expected me to do that for them either.

Reliability mainly. And also faff.
A vasectomy is not "chopping up a man's body!" The least a good husband can do.
My husband had the choice not to go for it but then I wouldn't have risked getting pregnant so relations would have been off the menu.