Poking holes in condoms!

"A pin hole in a condom is not rape."

That's some minimisation.

She didn't get consent to unprotected sex though, so is technically sexual assault tantamount to rape, "enjoyable" or otherwise.

Perhaps you should go watch the tea video...

She's telling you to drop the "well technically in the UK this isn't classified as rape" schtik.

You also seem to have a poor understanding of consent.

Yes, I do... and that is why I was raped.

Whether you agree or not, you're obviously determined to make sure her dh knows, either by telling your dh or by waiting for her dh to ask you why you're not friends.
So either way you're determined to break up her family. You're not a friend I'd like to have.

Irrelevant. Men and women have equal parental responsibilities for the child until they are 18.

Not a sensible course of action for many men, as vasectomies may not be reversible.

Are you kidding? It’s a sexual assault

"Whether you agree or not, you're obviously determined to make sure her dh knows, either by telling your dh or by waiting for her dh to ask you why you're not friends."

SO she should cover up a sexual assault and gross breach of trust then? On that basis the 57 people on the Cornell WhatsApp group were also right to turn a blind eye I suppose?

Would you say the same if that was the bloke??? Cos I’m sure as hell you’d be saying that’s a crime.

Context is irrelevant, this is sexual assault

I'd be disgusted too. God knows, few men take responsibility for their own fertility, and she's undermined that.

And if it can’t be reversed, good! You don’t get to run down a woman’s fertility and retain your own.

How is the man running down a woman’s fertility? There’s no universal agreement that a man has to give a woman a child. If he doesn’t want one with her, that’s absolutely fine. She is free to leave if she wants a child. If she stays and hopes he’ll change his mind one day, that’s her issue.

Because when they say I don’t want children and you think you’ve respected that as a couple, but what it actually means is I see you as Mrs Right Now, not Mrs Right; so I am retaining my options for the future that is unfair.

It’s never phrased as I don’t want kids with you, but I might in the future. Now that would be honesty, and allow the other half of the relationship to make an informed decision

Horrified, just horrified at the number of posters defending and excusing sexual assault, because the victim isn’t female.

You don't believe trust matters?

Do you understand what the words "in all but name" mean?

on first reading I thought WOW AWFUL but now having thought about it, I’m not sure I think it’s as bad as you make out tbh.
Pregnancy is a risk Everytime people have sex. I kind of think that whilst it is manipulative of her, and probably stupid because I doubt he’ll be a good father / partner, he did have sex with her and that decision alone is the choice he made and a baby is a potential outcome from that choice.

You also don’t know for sure that she is pregnant because of the holes that she made. Likely, but not definite. I’m not sure there is much moral judgement to be handed out; although as I said he probably isn’t a good partner (strung her along? Kept promising when he was ready? Not honest?) so for the mother and baby it’s an unfortunate situation..

Exactly.

Christ alive.

imagine if this read “if you’re a woman who doesn’t want kids and you’re married to a man who does, you should have a sterilisation”

You say that her DH is unhappy because they'll now have to sell up and move to a bigger property: As a PP said, has she maybe done this because she wants a bigger/better house? I can't get my head around why anyone in an already overcrowded 3 bed house with 3 kids could possibly want to add another to the mix otherwise. Unless she's simply just utterly selfish....

I've heard of people in social housing do this as well- deliberately popping out babies to get the 4/5 bed houses. This was years ago now though- there's pretty much no HA properties that big going now, and here in Liverpool (where i now live) I've seen families with kids in small 1/2 bed flat blocks, so think those days are over now.

Though I would have thought that it would go without saying that person A and person B are incompatible if one person wants a child and the other doesn't. There should not be an instance in which one person "runs down" the other person's fertility.

I wouldn’t get in a car without a seatbelt.

I’ve just come here from a strip club thread and I can’t believe the same place where a majority of people would divorce a man for setting foot in a strip club think stealthing your partner, or reproductive coercion is fine. Insane stuff.

There have been a couple of threads recently that have made me think that "lack of opportunity" is a surprisingly large contributor for the disparity in rates of sexual crimes between the sexes.

I haven't tried this (obviously), but I'd imagine they use condoms which are individually wrapped in a cardboard box and once the box is open then they take out the individual ones and stick a pin through them one by one. It could be disguised by the pattern of the wrapping or inserted from near the edge, and each pin would puncture the condom multiple times as they are rolled up.

In the heat of the moment and possibly in low light, one or two subtle pinholes would probably not be noticed.

Also! Some people just don't think about pinholes anyway - we had an incident at uni where a single wrapped condom was given out to each student as a welcome freebee stapled onto a bit of paper with a message and an urgent follow-up message had to be distributed to all students to alert everyone not to use that condom after the first couple of recipients raised the obvious issue.....