Mother in law keeps calling me fat

Time for MIL to go home! And if your husband disagrees he can join her!

To be honest Zaina- this MIL wouldn’t be staying with me any longer if she was so bloody rude- your H really needs to grow some balls and have a word with her on his own explaining that you are well aware and have a medical issue they are trying to get to the bottom of and he would appreciate it if she would ‘shut the fuck up’ and stop hassling you about it

You don't have a weight problem you have a husband problem.

Never have your in-laws to visit for so long again.

"You're very big"
Look her square in the face, make eye contact "You're extremely rude" and walk away.

Horrible woman. She needs to leave and your husband needs to get out of nappies and take his thumb out his mouth

Have you chatted to your gp about mounjaro/wegovy? It sounds as though there's good medical reason to try weight loss drugs.

Re you MiL - sounds as though she has foot in mouth problems.

I would say something thing really bad to her.

You need your husband to step up here - he needs to speak to his mother and tell her not to be so bloody rude or she will have to leave your home. You shouldn't have to put up with this in your own home! Tell him to shape up or go and stay with your own family until she's gone!

As @LavenderDisco says!

Call out her rudeness every single time. Don't put up with excuses from her or DH. If they say, "It's our culture to be outspoken" counter with "It's my culture to point it out when people are being rude."

This is clearly a medical issue, not an over eating one. You know that. It doesn't matter what she knows - you know the truth. And tell DH that you expect him to support you and call out any rudeness immediately.

I agree, call it out every time: look shocked and say ‘did you intend to be so rude and hurtful’. Then walk away.

where is your husband in all this?

do you have children. This type of comment is unacceptable and, as you know, can cause immense damage. Explain comments on your weight and body will not be tolerated in your home. if she can’t obey such a basic I request then she can’t visit

Dont get upset and cry.....get angry and stand up for yourself! How dare she belittle and bully you like that?? You sound lovely....you are hosting her in your home, and she insults you even when she can see it upsets you. And yes it is intrusive and rude! It would serve her right to be shoved out the door and told to fuck off.

God, I cannot imagine my husband not telling his mother to pack her bags if a hurtful comment of hers upset me.

DO point out to her that she is being rude. And a terrible guest.

I think this is an ideal example of how to use the MN classic 'did you mean to be so rude?'. Equally you could point out to her that you know that yes, you are big, but that you can lose weight whereas she will still be a nasty bitch.

Obviously I know there are cultural issues at play here and you won't be rude to her. Nor should you. But it is fine to point out to her that her behaviour is rude. You don't have to do it in an aggressive and unpleasant way, in fact you should be exceedingly polite while doing do to get maximum effect. You also need to get your husband to step up. I know those sort of personal comments are more acceptable in Asian culture but she's made her point and doesn't need to continue making it. Is she likely to be with you much longer? Can you engineer a reason for her to go home?

How horrible of her. I would absolutely expect my husband to tell her never to speak to you like this again and if she can’t be polite to you then she should go home.

You dont need a man to stand up for you stand up for yourself

Get your husband to put her in place. Tell him if he won't then you will.
Best wishes

This sounds like you may need to see a gp, look up lipodema and see if that sounds familiar.

Asian people are horribly direct about appearance, that doesn’t mean it should be tolerated. The best way to do this is to get your DH to have a stern word with your MIL about how she speaks to you, best way for it not to escalate. She literally won’t understand that she’s being unkind but she does need to know that you don’t appreciate her speaking to you this way.

I’m really sorry you sound so sad, stop crying, it’s not ok for anyone to make you feel like this, you have nothing to be embarrassed about or feel ashamed of.

I’m a pear and my boyish figured in-laws think I’m fat (I think, because they wouldn’t ever say it directly). Personally I like my figure so I just internally role my eyes when people start telling me they are lucky they have such slim legs in a pointed way. Next time anyone says it I think I’m going to just say “well your son loves these chunky thighs” HA!

She’s Asian it’s the culture just relax. If you visit Asia then you would cry everyday, they even have “fat girl shop” or chubby girl etc.

I feel like consistency may help with weight loss? It’s not easy, I fully empathise.

It’s only in the west that I see/hear of people who just gain weight for no reason. I’ve visited food insecure places in developing countries and you don’t see any of those issues. Try a food diary maybe? I know of a few people that found success with that

How awful for your daughter. My mum used to compare me to my ‘nice & slim’ cousins and make awful comments about my weight. It is unacceptable and this woman should not be in your home if she speaks like that to a child,

Your daughter needs to see you and her father stand up for her.

@Bringemout

From the OP: "I’ve literally tried everything so I went to the gp and they’ve referred me to the lipedema clinic to see if this is what the issue is ( I’ve had blood tests all are clear)"

I would have told not to be so bloody rude the first time she said it to me. But now she has started on your DD as well, I would go absolutely ballistic!

Either she shuts up or she goes home. Your Dh should be backing you up, but if he doesn't, he also needs a good talking to.

WTF

I’m so fucking sick of ‘culture’ being an excuse for cuntiness.

No it’s fucking NOT ok to call someone fat just because you are Asian.

Chuck her out.