Mother in law keeps calling me fat

Your mother in law is reprehensible

Your husband is a fool

When you are doing your level best to lose weight then the last thing you need is someone else telling you what you are already know - that you are overweight - or chipping in with uncalled for advice as if you had never thought about it before

I have had a lot of struggles with weight and know what a distraction this can be. It really is not easy but the best way to achieve it is to focus on the task in hand and cut out other people's stupid opinions.

Your husband needs to support you and tell his mother to back off

There is no cast iron guaranteed way to lose way weight but if you have your own space, room for your own thoughts, time to consider it peacefully and rationally it will be easier than if you are being constantly pecked at

Anyone who has voted YABU…I hope
you do not have daughters…
Being healthy is one thing, being constantly scrutinized and picked on is not ok.
You have a medical condition, but even if you didn’t, this is bullying, plain and simple.

She didn't say her culture is better.

But body shaming has no place in culture. There is no religion that espouses body shaming.

Have you told her it upsets you when she says that? Does she see you cry? If so, tell her to fuck off and get out of your house.

If you haven't told her and are hiding your upset then you're being unreasonable. I wouldn't care if someone was saying that to me if it was true and they weren't insulting me, just stating facts (aka saying "you are much bigger" rather than "god you disgusting pig, how could you get so fat?") and giving advice.

Growing up I came from a solidly working class background. Honesty, speaking your mind and humour were our culture. It wasn’t until I was told I was being unkind, that I reflected.

Every time she told me I was fat, I would tell her she’s rude. Don’t let her have anything to do with altering your clothes- it’s none of her business.

If she started trying that with my kids, I’d be telling her to get out of my house.

You and your husband are letting her get away with comments to a young girl which could lead to an eating disorder. You’re so upset you’re crying in the bathroom - how do you think your adolescent daughter ( who is already dealing with massive body changes and hormone surges) feels?

Culture my arse. She’s just fucking rude.

She's damaging your daughter as well as you. Does your DH notice what she's saying about your daughter? Why is this woman SO OBSESSED about size? What is her problem? Your DH needs to man up and decide what his priorities are, his family or his mother. It's more than time that he let go of the apron strings. He needs to STOP the damage being done especially to your DD. He has to realise that she is at a vulnerable age and you don't want her to develop an eating disorder and suffer as you did.
It sounds as if, as so often, he is still ruled by his mother. If calling her out on what she's doing puts her nose out of joint so be it. If he does that and feels guilty about it that's his choice. If he chooses not to do anything he's letting down the family that he has responsibility to and contributing
to the harm. Which matters more? You and your DD do.
Tell her straight, get him to tell,her straight too. Her behaviour is more than rude. It is damaging and destructive.

Why are you bringing up religion? Some cultures happen to place standards of appearance very highly and that doesn't make their culture any worse than anybody else's. Yes, for us in the west we have no standards and that's absolutely fine for us, but don't assume other communties live exactly how we do. Get out in the world more.

Anyone of any culture has the right to think what they want about their own weight, but they can keep their opinion on other peoples weight to themselves

Also she does want to lose weight, she has tried hard but it is not working and this sort of mithering does not help

Culture that is based on hassling people and being rude to them is not worth bothering with

It's only in the west I see/hear of people who just gain weight for no reason.
Lipedema is extremely common on a global scale. The WHO says it could be as much as 10% of all women to varying degrees. Obesity is also surging in resource-poor nations. I implore you to actually pick up a book once in a while.

I know in some cultures this is more acceptable (is she East Asian?) but she would have to leave my house until she learned some manners.

I don’t care what background somebody is or their relationship to me, what you are not going to do is disrespect me in my own house.

This!!

She would never be welcome in my home again!

Your Husband needs to step up, instead of putting up with his Mother insulting you and now his Daughter.

At the point you are at, I’d be now telling her to fuck off.

Can you not just tell her that in your culture its considered really rude and unpleasant to comment on someone's body in this way? And that if she can't stop it she will have to leave?

Take that attitude to somewhere like South Korea and see how far you go. Your opinion on how people should conduct themselves around issues of weight and appearance is very western centric and, with all due respect, smacks of somebody who thinks her culture is better than everyone else's.

Newsflash. We are not the centre of the universe. Very few things are universally accepted.

Also you have a weak husband. A complete wet lettuce.

Stop turning her insults inwards and questioning yourself. There is no way I would tolerate this from a guest in my home, especially not since she's now having a go at your DD as well.

Your DH is being absolutely useless here, so take matters into your own hands and tell her in no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate her constant comments about your appearance and your DD's puberty any more. If she doesn't stop it, then she will have to leave. End of.

How strange. When I was in South Sudan doing charity work I didn't see a single overweight person who wasn't part of our team and from the West. I Wonder where that 10% were living because it sure wasn't where we were situated.

This sounds very upsetting OP.

I know it is hard but you need to stand up to it every time. Don't repeatedly explain yourself or try to defend, focus on her behaviour and how disgusting it is. You are absolutely within your rights to fly off the handle when she speaks to your daughter this way. I'm sorry your DH is being unsupportive. Tell him if he won't deal with the problem, you will.

I don’t know how you’ve put up with that for two months, you sound like a very very patient person. I think if I was crying about my weight and someone got in my face and was like “oh you can do this to make your legs smaller” I would headbut them and tell them to fuck off before I sit on them.

Throw her out and tell her to figure it out herself.

As an Asian person, you don't have to put up with this. I don't experience this. The odd distant relative may comment on my weight as a one off- I used to be very thin and this too was remarked on- but not my mother-in-law, or anyone on a regular basis. Certainly never if I had a health problem.

@DebbieSavage don't you ever get tired of trolling?
OP, Debbie Savage is a known troll. Do not engage with her/him.

"What an odd thing to say"
"What a rude thing to say"
"I know I'm bigger than I was and it's a huge concern to me. It's a medical situation which I'm working with my doctors on and your repeated mentions of my size are hugely upsetting and quite frankly rude. Please don't mention this again to me and certainly don't comment on body size and shape in front of my children. You are damaging my daughter's self esteem and I won't put up with it any more."
"Shut up or get out"

Also, I am bigger and heavier than I used to be. I have a better relationship with nutrition and my body than when I was smaller, I am in a better place mentally with regards to food and exercise. My great grandparents (who I knew into my early 20s but are no longer with us) would've loved the size of my teenage boys - they really valued "big strong legs". It mortified me at the time when I was a fit healthy but bigger than average hockey player and athletic competitor - I just wanted to be skinny but they praised me for being strong and fit and healthy.

I am more than my clothes size. I'm a short size 18. When I die do I hope people remember me for the shape of my body or for my character and what I bring to the world? I want my friends and family to be funny, caring, silly, interesting, bright, I don't choose them based on their dress size or weight. What do we really value in each other?

Tell your horrible old MiL that she’s being extremely rude, so will she please refrain from making such comments.
Maybe that sort of thing is acceptable in her culture, but it most certainly is NOT in the U.K.