Being offended by being left on read after sex

To me, you sound needy and intense. I'm not surprised, frankly, that he has backed off. You seem to have changed the rules of engagement.

yes, it was a really relationshippy type of comment!

TBH op I think he could still have some attachments to his previos life he is trying to work through.
Just don't reply or maybe just say something Iike , "still smelling your aftershave here" then let it go. Cos the it looks like you weren't smelling anything else if you know what I mean. T

I think your message probably came across a bit strong for when you are not looking to be in a relationship. Once you are feeling more steady I would just message back and ask to meet up as normal. Then you can tell him even though the sex was great you are keen tp just stay friends as you don't want to change things between you. He is probably of a similar mind.

TBH if I was him I might not have replied to your message as I would not have know how to reply. But it is totally understandable given the health scare you've mentioned that you fancied a cuddle. Don't beat yourself up about it and try not to blame him either. Hopefully once you get the all clear you will have a clearer view of if you are temporarily struggling with FWB or if it just wouldn't ever work for you.

He left you on read because you agreed no relationship then you sent him the sort of emotional message (bed smells like you) that is only sent between someone catching the feels. He doesn’t want to lead you on.

Sounds like he's got the ick.

Wishing you all the best with your appointment at the hospital . I do think you are getting harsh replies in here . Yes, you may have wanted only FWB but your feelings changed after you slept with him . None of us know how we should and should not feel at times , feelings come and go and they change all the time, that is human nature .
Anyway , I hope your friendship with him continues and that he gets in touch . At least you know going forward that FWB is not for you .

I get it. He could have reacted to the text at least
It is rude of him and I would feel the same way
Sometimes men show their true colours once they have had sex with you, some men are just a bit lacking in social communication. Sounds like the silly guy has done himself out of a really great FWB arrangement though because of his poor communication. He gonna be kicking himself for that one.

Hi, I didn’t see this before writing my reply. Am on a tiny iPhone SE2020 phone.

So sorry to hear about the health stress. Definitely sounds like FWB is not for you at this time. Hugs xxx

I'm thinking you protest too much, and you absolutely do want a relationship. If you didn't there's no way you'd be this annoyed.

@Spidey66 me too! I misread it as she was left on the road, too! 😂

Are you sure you want a FWB, OP?

It's just, there is nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, and from that message you sent, it sounds like maybe you do.

@Lollipop7654
I think some of the replies here have been overly harsh as regards you getting attached to this man.

Fwbs are usually a f*king joke.

They don't take into account the way feelings will inevitably change and goalposts shift.

They don't take into account that men profit heavily from them and the cool girl shite of not getting attached for women is not the norm.

I'm not anti casual sex per se but one night stands are far more straightforward.

Keeping him purely as a friend may be the better option for you right now but please don't be surprised if he doesn't want to be one to you if there's no sex.

Frankly he'd have to be in love to hang around doing you favours if no sex.
Please be prepared to have other sources of back-up.
All the best.

It may have been the heart emoji that did it, I know its scared me off before if I think they're getting too intense even if I do want a relationship one day, especially if its started as casual. He may have been thinking about how to respond or even thinking he likes you more than he realised! I know I will back off a little at first and see how they are if I'm concerned they'll start getting too much too soon even if I'm really into a guy lol.

Id give it a little space and open up a conversation about it if you really like him, he probably just need some space. The first fling after divorce can be really hard to get your head around and navigate

Just read your update. He sounds like a really good friend and who knows in time it may develop but you rightly need to get yourself in a better place regardless. I am going through divorce and had a cancer scare at the beginning of it all. It is a horrible scary lonely time all round and sometimes I am just desperate for a hug. So I totally get it. Try to keep going the best you can and get stronger. Divorce is awful.

Honestly OP, it's not just you: They're also a massive head fuck for women because sex is designed for attachment. Blame oxytocin!

Also, FWB is a perfect set-up for avoidant people. Another sure fire way to mess with your head.

X

Totally agree.
In all honesty I doubt that this guy will hang around if there's no sex.
Unless he is crazily attracted to her: emotionally, mentally, sexually.

She'd have to be his dream woman.

Men don't usually want to become actual proper friends with women in adulthood.
Acquaintances are not the same.

Best if OP relied on female friends and the only men she should be relying on are family members that she trusts.

A friends with benefits relationship sometimes ends up with one of the friends hoping for more and trying too hard to read things into behaviours that aren't there to be read.. Try not to get yourself into this trap. Be careful with romantic emojis.

I think you expected a more engaged emotional response, but he either ignored that aspect given both of you said you were not for a relationship, or he just read it as a closing message. Try not to overthink it, but make sure that you are comfortable with the terms of relationship as it stands.

The comment was weird and off putting for someone who doesn’t want a relationship. Simple as that.

Sorry to hear about your health problems OP, that sounds very stressful.

All the more reason to avoid a complex emotional situation. You have done the right thing stepping back from this.

I think there’s every chance it will blow over and you can regain the friendship but you do need to be ruthlessly honest with yourself about what you want.

If it’s emotional support and friendship, a FWB is not what you need right now.

How many Andrew Tate podcasts have you swallowed and regurgitated?

She must have.

And to think a man's value doesn't decrease?

Laughable.

He might be a good man or he was buttering you up. Men will go to great lengths and have sex.
Hopefully this wasn’t the case.
You are in a fragile position recently divorced. Save yourself any heartache, you’re not ready for a FWB relationship. He may not be as friendly if the sex is off the table

Ludicrous. Audacious.

It's hilarious how some women are brainwashed into thinking that we lose our 'worth' if we have casual sex.

I've had many casual encounters and don't feel ashamed because it's what I wanted.

Wise decision OP.

Hope you get good news at your appointment.

Probs thought you were telling him he’s stank your bedding out and is offended 😬