I honestly dont know what to do anymore. DS1 and DS2 have just turned 15 a few weeks ago and are in year 11 and school are now talking about exclusion. I feel sick even writing that because its GCSE year and things have got so bad. Ive tried everything I can think of and nothing seems to make any difference
DS1 and DS2 are identical twins and they are very close. They dont really have friends apart from each other which used to worry me but now I actually think its making things worse. They are together all the time. They go out together sit in their room together game together and if one gets into trouble the other one is normally there making it worse. They dont seem to have anyone else to answer to really. Its just them
When they started year 7 DS1 was bright and a bit of a smart arse if Im honest. He could be cheeky and answer back but teachers liked him and he was actually interested in his work. He was good at maths and science and I remember being told he had loads of potential. DS2 was always more difficult and has always liked attention. He would mess about for a laugh and get other children going but it wasnt anything that seemed that serious then. They were both annoying at times but I never thought we would get to this
It got worse in year 8 then worse again in year 9. More detentions more arguments more emails home. DS2 was usually the one starting things and DS1 would sometimes tell him to stop but then he started joining in instead. I kept thinking they would grow out of it. Now they are in year 11 and they are both a nightmare in school. They talk over teachers make noises shout things out laugh when they are told off and refuse to do basic things. They argue about everything and take up so much teacher time. There have been detentions and isolations and now they are talking about exclusion
They both walk out of lessons if they dont like what they are being told. They have refused to hand their phones over and DS2 has sworn at teachers. DS1 has started doing it too. They wind each other up and then laugh about it. If one gets sent out the other will usually start making comments or laughing. They have been put in isolation more than once. The school keeps saying they cant keep taking teachers away from lessons to deal with them and I do understand that but I dont know how Ive ended up with two boys who think this is funny. They dont seem to care about consequences at all
DS1 is what really gets me because he was the bright one. He doesnt even do his homework anymore. If he gets good feedback or a good grade he used to get really pleased with himself but now DS2 makes comments about him being a teachers pet or being up the teachers arse and all sorts. DS1 used to get annoyed but now he laughs with him. If a teacher says something positive about DS1 DS2 will make some comment about him thinking hes clever. He seems to hate his brother doing well and I think DS1 has started avoiding doing anything that makes him stand out because of it. Its horrible because I know he can do better
I have asked school if they can put them in different classes because I think they need separating but they are both bottom set for a lot of subjects so its not really possible. Moving one up would mean putting him in a set he isnt working at and school cant just move him up to separate them. They also picked exactly the same options for GCSE which Im now thinking was probably because they wanted to be together all the time. At the time I didnt think anything of it. On Friday they had a supply teacher who didnt know them and apparently they kept swapping places and saying they were each other. She couldnt work out who was who and eventually had to call the HOY because they wouldnt stop. They thought it was hilarious
At home they are awful as well. If I ask them to do anything I get why or you cant make me and then it can go straight into swearing. They leave plates upstairs and rubbish everywhere and neither of them will do anything unless I ask over and over. They stay up gaming when they have been told to go to bed. If I take one phone the other one suddenly says its his or hides it. They both vape even though I keep taking them away. A few months ago I found out DS2 was smoking cigarettes as well. He denied it at first then basically said it was only a few. When they are grounded they just go anyway. They have climbed out of a downstairs window before because I wouldnt let them out
They are also causing trouble around the estate. They go out together and there have been complaints about banging on doors throwing eggs kicking bins shouting through letterboxes riding electric bikes where they shouldnt and going into peoples gardens. They have thrown stones at a garage door and apparently filmed some of it. I have defended them before because I thought people were blaming them for things other kids had done but Ive since found out they actually were involved in some of it. DS2 seems to enjoy getting a reaction from people and DS1 goes along with it. I dont know why they think this is funny
DS2 and girls is another thing Im really struggling with. He has always liked attention but the things Ive been told recently are not something I can just put down to being immature. He makes comments about girls bodies and has apparently carried on talking to girls after theyve told him to leave them alone. Hes shown messages from girls to other boys and one girl blocked him and he thought it was hilarious. Ive spoken to him about boundaries and consent and he tells me everyone is too sensitive and that it was a joke. DS1 has sometimes been there laughing too. Another thing I found out was DS2 took a girls bag from outside a classroom and passed it to another boy because they thought it was funny watching her look for it. She was crying apparently. I was absolutely horrified
Today I had another phone call from school. DS2 had an energy drink in class and when the teacher tried to take it off him he just walked out. DS1 followed him and they were running around the corridors laughing and refusing to come back. They were both put into isolation for the rest of the week. The problem is theres only one isolation room so school are now trying to work out something else because apparently putting them together defeats the point. They said they need to separate them somehow
Im seriously thinking about trying to move DS1 to another school. I feel like he needs getting away from DS2 before he throws everything away as well. Hes august born so Ive even wondered if I could ask if he could start year 10 again but I dont know if thats completely ridiculous. I know hes 15 and should make his own choices but I honestly think being together constantly is making both of them worse. They have no friends apart from each other and just egg each other on. Ive asked various people for help and dont seem to be getting anywhere. Im starting to worry about what theyll be like in a few years. Ive actually had a nightmare about them both being in prison which sounds dramatic but thats honestly where my head is at now