To ask for advice re private school dispute

The child’s opinion wouldn’t matter. OP can’t afford to pay it. and even if she was a billionaire, she couldn’t be forced to pay it, in this situation.

The PR campaign is irrelevant. He is doing the same any parent who support their kids getting a private education do. Ultimately, at 11, kids already have a good idea whether it's something they'd like or not however their parents sell it to them or not.

This is however not something you can afford or want to afford and that is absolutely your right. He either pays all or almost all.

If he refuses, you just need to be clear to your daughter that it's not your against it but really can't afford to pay 50%.

Why would the court have an interest in the child's opinion? It doesn't matter what the child's opinion is!

Just say no and be firm.

Why would the court have an interest in the child's opinion? It doesn't matter what the child's opinion is!
Of course the child's opinion matters, it will be their own experience. It's actually a European human right the UK signed up to that a child voice should be heard. Doesn't systematically mean their voice will be the final outcome but it's important that they should be heard and that's any age from 8yo in some instances, definitely 10yo

I can't believe anyone would believe that their voice doesn't matter.

If it affects them then I have known cases of thier views and opinions being taken into account
it’s a school place so it massively affects them

The value (or not) of private school is an impossible question to answer without knowing the child and the other alternative provision.

My eldest brother went to a well-regarded independent school.
The second went to the local (at that time not very well-regarded) comp
My sister and I went to the super-selective grammar.

All of us have achieved much the same academically and professionally. All of us have stable lives, and none of us is better or worse adjusted than anyone else.All are equally comfortable socially.

It never occurred to me that I would ever send my child to an Independent school, but she has just started one in year 7. For her, it made sense as she wishes to pursue a highly competitive non-academic pathway. I need her to have a ‘proper’ education alongside it, and the school she is going to is used to supporting young people following these routes in a way that, for example, the local grammar could not.

Thinking about it, I would not have survived at my brothers’ schools. I was fat, nerdy, extremely academic, completely unsporty and interested in classical music. I was also hugely sensitive and would have been crushed by the bullying that my other attributes would have invited. The smallish school of equally nerdy girls was the best fit for me, and allowed me space to be that weird teenager in peace until I had grown out of it/learned how to present myself socially.

We can’t say what is right for your child, I would say go to the Open Days, even if for nothing else than preventing the narrative that you wouldn’t even consider it.

This. My kids went to private school until 16 and then moved to state school. With the youngest it was because of GCSE disaster and our feeling that he has perhaps not had the support he needed or that they had not picked up that he was flagging and got us involved. At £26K pa through secondary and reassurances he was on for grades 7-9, we were gutted as he ended up in a local tech college (grades not good enough for the highly rated 6th forms in the area).

However, he flourished in tech college, left with amazing A levels and will be at uni with several of the friends who remained at his private school - doing the same course as one of them and with very slightly better A levels… only we have saved £62k to achieve the same results - so university is now paid for. 🤷🏻‍♀️

But in this situation it wouldn’t. She’s not already at the private school. Her mum can’t afford it. It doesn’t matter if her dad has put it into her head that it’s better. What does OP do, magic the money out of thin air?

No it doesn't matter if a child wants to attend a private school. If parents can't afford it or want it - end of story!

Private school isn't a right any child has.

I would 100% send to private school over state any day of the week BUT thst comes down to affordability

if your ex won’t fund 100% if it and you can’t afford it then it’s not an option. It’s that simple

A child goes to state school if parents can't or won't pay for private education.
The child's opinion won't make any difference what so ever.

@Fattypantss, you are wrong, the court have statutory duty to listen to the child wishes.
Under Section 1(3) of the Children Act 1989 in England and Wales, the family court has a statutory duty to have regard to the ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned, considered in light of their age and understanding. [1] (www.nuffieldfjo.org.uk/resource/uncovering-private-family-law-how-often-do-we-hear-the-voice-of-the-child)

Agree you should attend open days

My thought is that you could write to each school under consideration and explain the situation and that you are unable and unwilling to pay half their fees.
Schools would definitely care about the bottom line.

Okay, so OPs daughter whines and cries and says I really, really want to go to the private school that daddy showed me, he says that awful mummy won’t pay half.

The court says, “yes child, it is your right to go to the private school!”

What does the court tell OP to do? Buy a magic money tree, or sell some organs?

@BlumeUndTisch said that the court court have an interest in the child's opinion. This is absolutely incorrect.

That is different to saying the judge will impose OP to pay. Sometimes it is indeed not possible, but the child wishes will be considered.

Why that faff? Just say no won't pay and be firm.

No court will engage in a child's voice about private school because mum refuses to pay 50% of the fee.

No court will engage with the matter. You can't go to court and get a order for mum to pay 50% because dad wants private education but won't pay the fees. It's not a court matter.

@Fattypantss, you seem to struggle to distinguish between hearing the child and imposing their wishes.

The judge can recognise their wishes but rule that it is not possible for these to be met.

That's different to saying the court will have no interest in hearing their wishes.

In this case, there could be different rulings, that the dad pays 100% or OP has to pay a percentage, or the judge can decide that although it is the wish of the child, it just can't be afforded and the local school is good enough.

No court will engage in a child's voice about private school because mum refuses to pay 50% of the fee
This is totally incorrect. The judge would be breaking the law if they were not willing to hear the child wishes.

Would a dispute between parents like this at all be able to go in front of a judge? I would be very surprised.

He’s just as entitled as you are to have an opinion on what is the best school for your child. However, if he wants private & you don’t, then he has to be willing to pay the full amount. There’s no way a court would force you into this.

Id go to the open days though, because a) you may like it and b) if he is willing to fund the full amount, you still need to be involved in your child’s education.

This wouldn’t even make it in front of a court.

A solicitor would soon tell OPs ex they were wasting their time.

But this wouldn't never be an issue for a judge would it?

Does courts spend time on a matter like this? I would be surprised.

This wouldn’t get to court.