Are you a girls girl? Annoying neighbour isn't

I do wonder if there was a video recording of man and woman talking and it was played on here how many would see 2 people talking and how many would have some back story, she is flirting and doesn't want any other person around or he wants to cheat with her or some other saga behind it

You've no idea who reported your comment. If it was a personal attack it will have been deleted. And no - it wasn't me. I didn't see it.

I'm not a girls girl and whilst I am happy to talk to most people, I find women that identify themselves as a "girls girl" hard to talk too as I find we have less in common.

Yep. I think OP is furious with him - as she should be - but is doing what many women do and blaming the other woman rather than putting the blame on the one who is actually betraying her.

Granted, it's not a cheating scenario, but it's definitely awful of him to flirt with some woman who's deliberately ignoring his wife, right in front of her too. And there's no chance at all he doesn't notice, the whole "she's so nice" schtick is an attempt to deflect what he knows OP is thinking and wants to say.

My husband and I went to a friend's anniversary get together a while back, it was a kind of garden party affair, people moving around chatting, lots of tables, people getting up and down, we knew some people and some we didn't.

After a while, we found ourselves a quiet table and were sitting cosily chatting when a strange woman plonked herself beside my husband, round his side of the table. She said, oh is it ok if it here mostly to him but kind of in my direction - I answered sure, of course. She claimed not to know anyone - that turned out to be a lie a bunch of women on the other side of the room knew her a we found out later.

She then pretty much immediately started ostentatiously flirting with him. It was actually bizarre. She actually asked him if he thought her top was too low cut - I laughed, adjusted my own not inconsiderable cleavage and said "If you've got it flaunt it" - she sort of glanced at me and then went back to entirely directing herself at him and ignoring me.

It was like something out of a comedy sketch and it was genuinely funny because first he looked startled, then he turned his seat towards me and ignored her and when she still attempted to engage he stood up and asked me to go to the bar with him, and we buggered off to wander around and talk to other people.

If he'd pretended not to notice that she was flirting and ignoring me, if he'd engaged with her and encouraged her I'd have accidentally spilled wine on his crotch and gone to find a friend to chat to (I maybe be joking, but probably not).

He'd never do this to me, and he didn't pretend to be clueless, he was just gobsmacked at her nerve, and so we both had a good laugh. Because we're on the same team.

Her husband is the one she should be angry at, not the woman who's flirty advances he's enjoying in front of his wife at her expense.

Hahahahahahaha! I absolutely definitely DO know. Nah, the truth hurts is all 😆😅

See, this is just mean and unnecessary. You're being petty and trying to hurt someone for no real reason - they didn't say anything bothersome to you afaik.

Is that girl's girl behaviour?

Yeah, that’s not what I was talking about so not sure how that’s relevant. Like whatsoever.

I'm not a girl's girl, I tend to get on better with men than women- i'm friendly but usually do not connect.

I do think this can be a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. You sense she doesn't like you, so you're slightly awkward and stiff around her, so she senses you don't like her, so she focuses on your DH who is oblivious not awkward and stiff, which confirms your suspicion that she doesn't like you, so you are more awkward and stiff, so she has her suspicions confirmed that you don't like her...

This reminds me of a time I went to a mum and baby group at a church... the lady checking us in said "welcome! everyone here is friendly and not cliquey at all".

You can see where this is going... daughter and I were ignored completely by the small group of women there. At snack time they grabbed most of the snacks for their children leaving hardly anything for my girl (literally a few banana circles and a slice of apple). They properly shunned me- no smiling or returning my smiles... avoiding me completely. It was so weird. Never ever happened at other baby groups.

When I left, the woman who checked me in checked me out and said "will you come back?". I said yes but obviously I didn't.

I got the impression she was trying to get new mums in and was aware that the mums who were regulars were driving people away.

Have you posted about this neighbour and your husband before? Something about doing the school run together??

That's a pretty strange take.

I wonder if the neighbour comes from a culture where men are expected to do certain DIY or other traditional 'men's jobs' and being on good terms with male neighbours is thinking ahead in case any such help is needed where DH needs assistance.

My best friend is an only girl, she grew up in a house full of boys. She finds it much easier to chat to males. There is a perception from those who dont know her that she's "bitchy" or "a flirt" which is far from the truth. She is good looking which feeds into that narrative. I hate it for her. It makes her uneasy and self conscious around new females when infact she is a really good friend!

I'm not particularly close to anyone, man or woman. I do find women quite difficult to get on with though and I've struggled all my life to handle the bitchiness and moods that seem to happen with female friendships. I do like a chat with men as they are usually a bit more lighthearted, but I don't have any close friendships with them. I certainly wouldn't behave the way your neighbour is though!

People are falling over themselves to try and excuse her. But yeah, she’s one of those who likes the men and wants to be fancied. It’s gives her a kick to think she could potentially pinch your man if she wanted to; clearly been listening to Dolly Parton songs.

I've always preferred the company of other women and have never had male friends unless they were part of a group. I usually find woman that prefer male company not to my taste. They're usually the "pick me" sort amongst other things.

It would depend on how they interacted with each other. Many people are quite astute when it comes to reading other people and would find it easy enough to tell the difference between friendly conversation and flirting. A rule of thumb would be, can you imagine the behaviour being directed at their own sex? For example, men don't typically blush or do shy smiles or find a reason to touch other men. Women don't typically giggle prettily at the jokes of other women and gaze at them as though they're the most fascinating person they've ever met. If you notice this sort of thing, it's almost always flirting.

I agree.

Sometimes one half of the couple is more interesting to talk / easier conversation or gives warmer vibes.
Try not to overthink it OP
X

Ha ha! Yes! To be fair, it's a group centered around mums and babies so it's pretty safe to assume that's a "thing" you have in common and in those early months when you're sleep deprived it can be harder to think of anything to say at all (at least, that's how I sometimes felt). But it gets dull quickly if no one's interested in moving on to anything else. I did make a great friend at a toddler group, though. She and I bonded over movies.

Well it does exist.