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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is the dog invited?

1000 replies

DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 21:02

My husband's brother and his wife are coming to stay with us this weekend, on their way back home from their holiday further north. All good. They live in a big house with a garden whereas we live in a smaller house with a back yard but we can cope for a couple of days.

This afternoon, I looked at my sister-in-law's Instagram. She has posted photos of herself and her husband on holiday - with her dog!

I have not invited the dog. The dog had not been mentioned. I do not want the dog in my house.

My husband has said it's just one of those things. I feel they are being insufferably rude to expect me to welcome the dog into my home without even asking.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
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Original poster
DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 21:43

mumumental · 06/08/2026 21:42

Do what makes you comfortable. Personally I love a well behaved visiting dog, although I’ve had very few of them.

Give me your address and I'll send this one over...

OP posts:
Nousernameideaaga · 06/08/2026 21:43

DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 21:16

Dogs are not family members, any more than houseplants and teddy bears are family members. They are pets.

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Your username is Doggy Auntie

justasking111 · 06/08/2026 21:43

SP2024 · 06/08/2026 21:32

But where did you think there dog would be if they were holidaying in the UK? Surely you’d expect the dog to be with them? I find this odd. Family dogs always welcome at my house, no need to ask.

I'd expect that the dog would be in kennels or with relatives/friends.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 06/08/2026 21:43

You or DH need to tell them that you hadn’t realised they would have the dog with them and decide are you happy with the dog staying at all, or staying in your garden, or uninvite them.

the sooner you do this thd better

Buildingthefuture · 06/08/2026 21:44

Rpop · 06/08/2026 21:37

Don’t listen to these posts OP. I don’t understand how people can’t think it rude to just turn up with a dog. It’s your house. It’s not like turning up with a child if you have a child.

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I actually said I wouldn’t do this with my own dogs. But actually, it’s is EXACTLY like turning up with an unexpected child. I think that is equally rude.

LivelyGreyShark · 06/08/2026 21:44

But your husband thinks its fine and its his house too.

Original poster
DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 21:44

Nousernameideaaga · 06/08/2026 21:43

Your username is Doggy Auntie

Edited
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Yes, I have changed my name for this thread.

OP posts:
Rpop · 06/08/2026 21:44

Buildingthefuture · 06/08/2026 21:29

Consideration? That works both ways. You aren’t considering these relatives. They have a dog, it’s with them, as you now know. But you expect them to put it……elsewhere, so they can stay with you? Do you know anything about dogs at all? Lots of people really like dogs, so that means that, at this time of year, kennels and dog sitters are simply fully booked. Did you “consider” that there really isn’t anywhere they can just leave this dog? So your “want” of them to stay with you, sans dog, is very unlikely.

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But it’s OP’s house.

21ZIGGY · 06/08/2026 21:45

DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 21:31

The conflict is that my husband says it doesn't matter, I think it does, my brother and sister in law will think I'm being rude and unreasonable, I think they are...

You dog people really don't understand the lives of us humans, do you...

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The dog is a red herring. The issue is your inability to say what you want

NoisyUmberBalonz · 06/08/2026 21:45

Wild to me that 30% of people think you can just bring a dog along to someone's house to stay without asking. Dog people are completely ruining dogs. Get a grip muttfreaks.

Nousernameideaaga · 06/08/2026 21:45

Before everybody decides the dog owners are insufferably rude have you had an actual conversation with them to find out if they are actually intending to bring the dog with them? Do you know with 100% certainty that they haven’t made alternative arrangements on their way to yours ?

SunnyRedSnail · 06/08/2026 21:45

@DoggyAuntie dogs are NEVER invited unless specific permission is given.

We have dogs and would NEVER just turn up with our dogs without asking first. Its rude!

My SIL however is self entitled and not good at thinking about others first so would literally rock up with her hairy beast! Unfortunately some dog owners are incapable of putting others first.

Jane143 · 06/08/2026 21:45

DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 21:16

Dogs are not family members, any more than houseplants and teddy bears are family members. They are pets.

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You sound rather stubborn

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 06/08/2026 21:45

Yanbu at all.

Definitely send a message - “noticed on instagram that you have the dog with you on holiday, just wanted to preempt any misunderstanding when you visit and let you know that we can’t accommodate dogs at our house”.

Buildingthefuture · 06/08/2026 21:46

DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 21:36

No shit, Sherlock.

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If you are this acerbic in real life, I’d consider that they may have brought the dog with them purely so they would have an excuse not to come to yours.

XenoBitch · 06/08/2026 21:46

justasking111 · 06/08/2026 21:43

I'd expect that the dog would be in kennels or with relatives/friends.

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Does it not occur to you that a lot of dog people take their dog on holiday with them? Not becasue they can't be arsed with kennels, but because their dogs are family and are an integral part of their time away.
Dogs enjoy holidays too.

Original poster
DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 21:47

Buildingthefuture · 06/08/2026 21:46

If you are this acerbic in real life, I’d consider that they may have brought the dog with them purely so they would have an excuse not to come to yours.

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No, they love coming to ours.

OP posts:
Placeoftides · 06/08/2026 21:47

I absolutely couldn't have a dog staying overnight. I have a special needs tabby cat (she was hit by a car as a kitten) very cheeky of your relatives

Original poster
DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 21:47

Jane143 · 06/08/2026 21:45

You sound rather stubborn

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OK. And..?

OP posts:
Livelovelaughfuckoff · 06/08/2026 21:49

DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 21:10

Not my brother. Read the thread.

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Wow you’re fucking rude. Hope the dog shits on your carpets.

InItForTheMusic · 06/08/2026 21:49

This thread is set up for generating froth. 🙄

Laterlife · 06/08/2026 21:50

Let them know you are withdrawing the invitation because they have the audacity to have a dog that they love, and take on holiday with them. And then live with the consequences of what that says about you. It's a you problem, and it's only fair to let them know.

Original poster
DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 21:50

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 06/08/2026 21:45

Yanbu at all.

Definitely send a message - “noticed on instagram that you have the dog with you on holiday, just wanted to preempt any misunderstanding when you visit and let you know that we can’t accommodate dogs at our house”.

You see, people are accusing me of being stubborn or acerbic, but there is no way on earth I could send a message like that! To family?

"Just wanted to preempt any misunderstanding"

"We can't accommodate"

That sounds like a letter you'd get from the council about the bins!

OP posts:
Nousernameideaaga · 06/08/2026 21:51

I really hope the dog is uninvited.

You sound like a very unpleasant person . Dogs deserve better 👍

Enjoy the rest of your evening bickering with strangers you don’t agree with on a topic that you started ☺️

HopefulBeliever · 06/08/2026 21:51

XenoBitch · 06/08/2026 21:12

What do you want them to do?
Their dog was obviously part of their holiday so is with them. They are visiting you on their way back home.

This. If the dog is with them on holiday and they are meant to be stopping and seeing you on their way home it’s obvious the dog is still going to be with them.
I think there should have been a discussion when the offer was made for them to stay. It feels too late now. I think it will come across as rude to say they can’t stay but I also understand people don’t like dogs in their house. Could it be confined to the kitchen for example and could the visit just be overnight?

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