Is the dog invited?

What a dilemma. I couldn’t bear to have a dog in my house for a day, let alone overnight. Just think of the smell. I think I’d have to say something. So awkward

I'm thirding this. It's clearly a miscommunication/ misunderstanding. Speak to them, or ask your husband to and say you hadn't realised they were traveling with the dog and your home is not dog-friendly. They can either stay somewhere else, or just pop by for a shorter visit/ meet somewhere dog-friendly and be on their way.

Because op WANTS them to come but also WANTS them not to magically, somehow, not bring the dog. And also WANTS them to not think she is being unreasonable.
I think op is going to discover that she doesn’t always get what she wants!

Yes but how would OP know that the dog was part of the holiday. OP only happens to have found out. It is very rude. I would hate a dog in my house and I’m uncomfortable around dogs too. I guess I’d message up front (or get husband to) and say, just seen the photo, just checking Bonza isn’t coming…..

They went on holiday in the uk so it’s pretty obvious they’d take the dog with them. While I’d always check with friends and relatives, my brother would know we come with a dog so it wouldn’t be a conversation. If you are not happy, arrange to meet for a pub lunch but let them know they can’t stay.

thank God my sil are lovely and chilled. I don’t understand how people get through life with this level of fury.

We have a dog and wouldn’t dream of taking him on holiday with us. He stays in kennels when we go away.

We also don’t take him shopping or to the pub etc. He’s a dog and lives at home.

This is tricky, as it is his home, but I do think that in such circumstances there is no compromise, so it should naturally fall to the person who does NOT want a dog in their home to have the final say.

You are not being unreasonable according to 75% of votes here so far. Maybe show your husband this thread if he pushes that you are.

@DoggyAuntie my husband and I have 2 very large dogs and we would never assume they’re invited. It amazes us when friends want to come and stay in our house in the Cotswolds that they can bring their dog because we have dogs. Erm no. My in-laws live down the street and dad in laws brother assumes they can bring their dog which for mum in law is a no no. She’ll happily have ours as she knows them and they listen to her.

We have a dog and I wouldn’t dream of putting her in kennels. Funny how we’re all so different.

There is a dog hating poster on MN who says dogs are not family and are like houseplants... literally the same wording.

Don’t listen to these posts OP. I don’t understand how people can’t think it rude to just turn up with a dog. It’s your house. It’s not like turning up with a child if you have a child.

This is what should happen.

You seem forthright enough to say “I saw on instagram you have your dog. Think there may be a bit of communication breakdown. Were you expecting to bring the dog here? We’re not really a dog friendly house so if you don’t have other arrangements I think we’ll have to skip the visit this time.”

Not sure if you are trying to be offensive - but you had my utter support until this. There is no need to be derogatory or sneer at those of us with pets. We are not all the same and many of us are very considerate of others.

But my dogs ARE family. They are living souls with feelings, emotions, needs, that give their utter trust to their human family. The emotional support they offer my children (autistic) means they are utterly loved and cherished.

You non-dog people don’t understand the lives of us compassionate, caring humans.

I have a dog and don't think it's fair to land on family with them unexpectedly.
That said you and your DH need to agree a position and talk to his family.

That is rude too TBF.
I met a friend for a cup of tea, and she bought her very moody teen with her. It was very awkward.

Sounds like you don't really understand your own life and your relations and are in no position to lecture anyone else about what they understand. Chippy feck aren't you? I wonder why people think you are rude. Is it because you are rude, perhaps? You've been astoundingly pedantic and rude to people on this thread. I suggest you put the internet down and resolve this offline as I don't think anyone can help, or you won't listen if they can.

Jeeez. Imagine comparing a breathing, sentient, intelligent mammal to a ‘teddy bear’ or ‘houseplant’.

Dogs can actually read human social cues better than chimpanzees, and have comparable intelligence to a 2 year old toddler. On that basis, I think the pooch will breathe a sigh of relief not having to stay with you!!!!

Your replies to people on here are incredibly cold. I can’t imagine they’ll be too disappointed that they can’t visit you 😂

Then tell them. They can't stay at yours, but let them know so they can arrange something else.

Hey I'm dog people and understand.

Do what makes you comfortable. Personally I love a well behaved visiting dog, although I’ve had very few of them.