Is the dog invited?

Lol, well it's not unexpected really is it if it's a family member where it's known they have a dog that they would obviously be traveling with.

OP is on the wind up or being deliberately obtuse I think

I have a dog and I often bring her to people’s houses. I just ask if she’s invited. Generally I find most people like her because she’s small, well trained and doesn’t shed fur but if anyone says she’s not invited when I ask I arrange a dog sitter. Rover is a good app which your in laws could use to find a dog sitter near you.

You have met the dog so you knew the dog existed. They are holidaying in the same country as they live - not really a stretch to see that they would have the dog with them.

Whilst I have a dog I am not really an overwhelmingly dog person but I wouldn’t be impressed if you likened my dog to a houseplant or a teddy bear. Do behave.

You sound inflexible and frankly quite abrasive. Let them know the dog is not welcome and save them an awkward few days.

Send them this: https://www.rover.com/uk/

And here we have a good and responsible dog owner. They do exist!

They absolutely should have mentioned the dog was with them to check if it’s ok or not but equally did it not occur to you to ask what the plans are with the dog as you don’t want the dog in your house?

I wouldn’t want the dog hair, snot and general faecal matter spread around my house so it would have to be a heads up that they’re very welcome, but Fido isn’t. The dog can stay in the garden, car or they can go home. Their choice.

Ah, do you think they can be replaced by robots too?
You sound very familiar.

stop being obtuse OP.

your sister in laws dog. Who is married to your DH'd brother. So therefore logic dictates it is also his dog, y'know, him being married to your sister in law. Stop being so pedantic

I think you should tell them not to come. You are clearly very angry with them, think they are rude and that their dog is equal to a house plant. No way would I have wanted to stay with you, with or without my dog. Maybe your DH can go and see them instead as he seems a lot less combative.

This.

I mean, it doesn't need a thread and all this discussion, it's not some great tricky ethical dilemma, just bloody speak to your relatives, FFS. You tell them and they don't stop on their way home. Where's the conflict?

Consideration? That works both ways. You aren’t considering these relatives. They have a dog, it’s with them, as you now know. But you expect them to put it……elsewhere, so they can stay with you? Do you know anything about dogs at all? Lots of people really like dogs, so that means that, at this time of year, kennels and dog sitters are simply fully booked. Did you “consider” that there really isn’t anywhere they can just leave this dog? So your “want” of them to stay with you, sans dog, is very unlikely.

We've always had dogs. We've never taken them on holiday. We've never rocked up to someone's house with a dog, even if they have a dog of their own unless specifically invited. The only house that they go to is a relatives and they have four acres. Their dog also visits our house. A friend brings her adorable little dog to our house. I don't take ours to her house though.

Not everyone likes dogs, cats etc.

Is DH going to talk to them or will you??

Well, they can either come and stay with you, with the dog or they won't be coming to stay with you. It's that simple. You choose.

To me it's actually obvious that people holidaying in the UK would most likely have their dog with them, in the same way as I'd expect them to have their children with them if they had kids. That said, I understand why non dog owners wouldn't have considered that. But regardless, they aren't coming without the dog, so this visit won't happen if you aren't prepared to let the dog in your house. It is what it is.

I’d never turn up with my dog without asking but equally in the OP’s place I would definitely have been expecting the dog.

But where did you think there dog would be if they were holidaying in the UK? Surely you’d expect the dog to be with them? I find this odd. Family dogs always welcome at my house, no need to ask.

I wouldn't expect anyone to expect they can bring their dog in to my home, but then most people I am on good enough terms to invite to my home know I am allergic and also just don't like dogs. I don't think anyone should assume they'd be expected to host a dog, it would be just as likely that they wanted a break from picking up poo and had offloaded the mutt to Rover or friends or something.

I wouldn’t dream of just assuming that my dog was invited, I’d have checked. But equally I wouldn’t be staying with you on the way home if the dog couldn’t stay. And it’s fair enough if you don’t want the dog staying, but I wouldn’t be putting it in kennels.

Could you meet them for a lunch somewhere while they’re passing instead? Assuming they still want to stop/see you.

Dog owner here - and I would never presume that my dogs were included. The opposite in fact. You are totally within your rights to reach out and state that you are sorry, but you hadn’t realised the dog would be travelling with them, but you can’t have him stay. Lie and say you are allergic as they can’t wheedle against that one.

Rearrange for when they can get a dog sitter.