Is the dog invited?

Where did I mention rude ?I just said it seemed all parties made assumptions and you didn’t act once you knew the dog was with them. You also kept banging on about ME, and MY house and didn’t take your husband’s views into consideration.

No, they weren’t rude, they didn’t think, they made an assumption, in the same way you did. But you had a chance of dealing with the issue but you didn’t.

Minorities aren't always wrong.

Would you turn up at someone's home with your dog without asking, though? (I'm not talking about scenarios where you know already that the dog will be welcomed.)

Bil and wife didn’t think to mention they had their dog with them. Rude.
DH DGAF that his wife is unhappy about the dog. Rude.
OP finds her BIL and his wife insufferably rude.
OP is rude to posters in her responses in this thread.
People are rude to the OP in this thread.
Dog lovers accuse others of being heartless. Rude.
Others accuse dog lovers as being insane. Rude.

In summary, humans are arseholes rude and that is why so many prefer dogs.

I would not be happy either @DoggyAuntie hope you’ve managed to sort it out.

Yes. From what I’ve read, it sounds like you’ve chosen not to, because you feel that you shouldn’t have to. If I’ve missed a different reason, I apologize.

Well, it’s entirely possible they’re capable of not loving you. Guessing that you’ve never had a dog. Or a cat. I certainly hope not, as it appears your own capability to love is quite limited.

I remember now, you’re going to suck it up. I sincerely hope you’re going to do it with more grace than you’ve shown in this thread. But I expect you will consider yourself a martyr to the mutt. Enjoy.

Then it’s on you. And now you bask in how “right” you are, yet being annoyed and unhappy with a situation you could easily avoided. So, in future, maybe ponder whether it’s more important to you to be right or to be happy.

No no it would be cruel on the dog to subject the poor animal 😢 to her,she'd keep it tied up outside so it didn't go in her "clean house"
As us dog owners must have dirty houses!

i went to stay with relatives, i told them i was taking my dog,
they have dogs
they had opportunity to say dont bring your dog

I am assuming the OP already knew they have a dog. All my friends and family know I have a dog. They also know my dog comes with me. If for any reason they didn’t want me to bring my dog my family and friends are adult enough to tell me. Then it’s my choice if I want to visit or not

That’s getting a bit personal for this thread. And also hilariously inaccurate.

This has been a very interesting thread - thanks OP for your amazing hummus (which many don’t understand).

humour !!

perhaps she makes good hummus too.

Id worry that if you don't say you don't want the dog this time, they'll just assume from now on, it's no problem, and bring it every time.

I'm with you BTW, inviting people does not automatically mean invting their dog.

I have friends and family members with dogs, they know there's no way I'm having a dog in my home.

OP, I am totally on your side here, and I am convinced I have read the whole thread. But did the dog actually arrive, or not?

They should have said 'we have fido with us, that ok? If not we'll come and stay another time'.

You don't just presume, you ask.

I agree with @Jigglypuffff about using it as an opportunity to set ground rules now that you have deceived to suck it up @DoggyAuntie. People who blindly assume a dog is welcome are also the sort of people who won’t think it needs boundaries in another person’s home. Reminds me of a friend who dog sat for his SIL. He’s very clear about where dogs go in this house - not upstairs, crated at bedtime. She came to stay the night of collecting the dog and brought it up to the spare bedroom in the middle of the night - he was fuming especially as it had been a massive favour as he was dog sitting over Christmas.

Anyway you need to say something like:

Just seen you have the dog with you. We didn’t realise and we aren’t really set up for dogs here. As you already have him, there isn’t much you can do so it’s fine this time but just to say he will need to stay off the furniture and out of the living room while he is here.

or whatever rules you want to set

But why do you feel the need to always bring a bloody dog?

As the OP has repeatedly said, she knew they had a dog. She didn’t know they were taking the dog on holiday with them. Many people don’t, I have never taken my dog on holiday with me.
Good manners would dictate that the BIL and his wife, upon arranging to visit the OP on their route home, should have said ‘we will have the dog with us, is that ok?’ The onus is on the dog owner to check their host is ok with them bringing the dog, not on the host to check if they are bringing the dog. Basic manners.

They did t think to ask because they knew the dog would be on the holiday with them. You didn’t know. If you don’t want the dog you probably won’t get them either. Your choice but let them know ASAP. You can’t expect them to make other arrangements the same as they can’t expect you to take the dog.

Because my bloody dog has a limited lifespan. Because my bloody dog is family. Not just a bloody dog. And because when you get a bloody dog you accept that you have bloody responsibilities to that bloody dog.

You also have a bloody responsibility to check that anyone you visit is happy for you to bring your bloody dog with you to their house. Part of the bloody responsibility of having a bloody dog.

None of that answers why you can’t leave it at home though

My dog comes on holiday with us. Just because it’s a dog doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve a holiday as well. When you get a dog you accept it’s a big part of your life. If you can’t give your pet the best life ever then don’t get a pet.