Is the dog invited?

There’s something about this thread that appears to have brought out all the numpties of Mumsnet in force this afternoon/ evening.

This would make a good Ryan Murphy TV show.

My kids are part of my family but I’d not rock up to stay at someone’s house with them in tow without asking first.

There must be something in dog hair that rots the brain; some dog owners are so unhinged about their dogs. “Oh I love animals, my dogs are my family. I love animals so much I’ll merrily feed my darling dog a poor slaughtered cow/pig/horse/chicken. To hell with the other animals and the environment to boot”.

@DoggyAuntie is it too late to borrow a pet snake for the weekend? Some friends of mine have a constrictor that they let out to roam the room fairly regularly. After all, it would classify as your family to some posters on here so there’s no reason why you’d be expected to disclose it’s existence to your in laws 😀

is it a big or small dog🐶

Well in that case, the problem can be resolved quite simply – invite the dog.

I now have an image of a wide-eyed pooch with his tail between his legs, cowering in fear.

It wasn’t unreasonable of them to assume that your kind invitation didn’t include the dog. After all, the dog was on holiday with them.
They must have assumed you knew that the dog was on holiday with them.
They must happily still be assuming the dog is welcome as they haven’t heard from you or your DH to the contrary.
You didn't specify that the dog wasn’t included in the visit to you at the end of their holiday. If you had, they wouldn't have been able to come, so the invitation would have been pointless.
You knew they had a dog.
They didn’t ask to come…you invited them.
The onus was on you to enquire whether the dog was with them or not before issuing the invitation, given how very strongly you feel about having their dog in your house.
It was a risk you willingly took when issuing the invitation.
That's why you are accepting of the consequences and hosting them with the dog and then venting here, rather than making your feelings clear to them that they can’t bring the dog.

It did make me laugh when a pp said she hoped the dog shits on your carpet.
I hope, for the dog’s sake, it doesn’t feel stressed enough by you, to do that.
If the dog only knew how unwelcome it is, it would surely not want to come anywhere near you.

What will you do next time you want to invite them ?

I've read the whole thread thanks and I still believe it's mostly about communications (and assumptions). And I think the I, I, I, of the OP says a lot.

I had no reason to speak to them about it.
Their dog wasn't invited. They didn't ask to bring it. They were rude not to.

Assumptions.

But once you knew they were away from home with the dog what you and/or you husband didn’t do was communicate to them the dog wasn’t invited.

They didn’t think about you not realising they would have the dog with them, you didn’t think about them having the dog with them, but once you knew you came to MN and asked if people thought they were being unreasonable.

No, nobody has been deliberately unreasonable, both parties have assumed, which as we know makes asses of them, which makes a Donkey Sanctuary.

I’m out now.

So the situation is resolved , you have made your decision 👍

And yet you keep coming back to the thread 🧐

If you enjoy lots of attention and fuss , can I recommend you perhaps get ….. a dog 🐶

I actually agree. This whole thing wouldn’t have happened if the BIL had communicated properly and said ‘we’ll have the dog with us, is that ok?’

I agree, OP should get a dog.

I mean, you do come across as one 🤷🏼‍♀️

So… did the happy little dog turn up or do we have to wait until tomorrow to find out?

Not wanting a dog she'd not agreed to have stay is NOT being a cow.

Most people don't want other people's pets dumped on them without prior agreement.

Because she doesn’t want someone assuming that they can bring their dog to stay at her house without asking?

They are on holiday with the dog.

They are passing OP’s house on the way home.

Where is the dog supposed to go.

The OP didn’t know they were on holiday with their dog. I have never taken my dog on holiday. If I did take my dog on holiday and I was staying at a relative’s house on the way home, I would say ‘we’ll have the dog with us, is that ok?’ Like any reasonable, polite person.

I used to let part of my house as an Airbnb. I love dogs, have 2 of my own so the accommodation was dog friendly. I really enjoyed having the various dog guests and never had a problem with any of them.
I do get that not everyone likes dogs. However there’s a world of difference in having a little shitzu to stay for example (small, non shedding) than a large mastiff bouncing around or a dog shedding hair everywhere.

You might find that the dog is no trouble. You’ve obviously met the dog before and know it’s behaviour so for the sake of daily harmony do you feel you could bear it for a couple of nights ?

I like this no-nonsense thread and agree with the OP. Like those in a multi-generational family, it is basic good manners to check who is included in an invitation. I would no more show up to a house visit with a dog than I would show up to a party with my three year old twins and granny in her mobility scooter, even if they are part of my family living in the same house. Having found out the dog is travelling, I would drop a quick message saying, I just spotted the dog on socials with you and wanted to check what the arrangements were for when you stay with us, given our house isn’t dog-friendly? And see how they respond. If they challenge the definition of ‘dog-friendly’, I would explain it as a house where you would not allow dogs to go upstairs or sit on any soft furniture because there is too much they might damage, nor would you tolerate them toileting in your garden/yard because of your plants etc - and what were their plans for the dog during their stay? Even if you suck it up, it’s a chance to set some ground rules. Good luck!