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Original poster

Is the dog invited?

1000 replies

DoggyAuntie · 06/08/2026 21:02

My husband's brother and his wife are coming to stay with us this weekend, on their way back home from their holiday further north. All good. They live in a big house with a garden whereas we live in a smaller house with a back yard but we can cope for a couple of days.

This afternoon, I looked at my sister-in-law's Instagram. She has posted photos of herself and her husband on holiday - with her dog!

I have not invited the dog. The dog had not been mentioned. I do not want the dog in my house.

My husband has said it's just one of those things. I feel they are being insufferably rude to expect me to welcome the dog into my home without even asking.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Rpop · Yesterday 20:48

maxslice · Yesterday 20:46

Where did you go to vet school?

Show quote history

It’s not a vet school issue - whether dogs are capable of love.

Newyearawaits · Yesterday 20:50

Pistachiocake · 06/08/2026 21:14

We had someone turn up with their kid to a party-they didn't ask, and the child wrecked stuff and ruined the party, as no one could relax (I'd never have been able to forgive myself if he'd got burnt at the BBQ).
If she'd said she couldn't get a sitter, and asked, that's reasonable (FYI she had parents who always sat for her, as she always was clubbing). But people should ask before bringing anyone but the ones invited.
I know some people will say that you'd expect a couple to bring family (whether kids or dogs) if staying over as it's different from a party, but I think you should ask. Hopefully the dog won't make as much mess of your house as the kid made of hours. I bet he'll be quieter at least!
They should have checked-if they can't come as they don't have whatever sitter dogs get, that's fine, but you're not unreasonable to think they should ask.

I take it that you don't have children.
Your comparison between a dog and a child is bizarre

maxslice · Yesterday 21:00

OP, what is the reason you haven’t just called them to sort things?

Muchmore · Yesterday 21:00

Of course it's rude and unreasonable.

Cover your sofa's with blankets and passively aggressively hoover the carpets four times a day so they gently get the hint.

AlleycatMarie · Yesterday 21:02

OP I was on your side initially, as your first post made out that you didn’t know they had a dog. But, it turns out you did know. What did you think they had done with the dog?!

hadenoughofsnowflakes · Yesterday 21:04

Maybe I’m strange, if I invite a family, I expect their dog too, as I would expect their kids if they had them - but each to their own

BruFord · Yesterday 21:13

hadenoughofsnowflakes · Yesterday 21:04

Maybe I’m strange, if I invite a family, I expect their dog too, as I would expect their kids if they had them - but each to their own

@hadenoughofsnowflakes Would you also expect their other pets such as their cat/guinea pig/parrot, etc.?

This is the part that I (as a dog owner) don't understand. Why do we treat dogs so differently?

BruFord · Yesterday 21:13

hadenoughofsnowflakes · Yesterday 21:04

Maybe I’m strange, if I invite a family, I expect their dog too, as I would expect their kids if they had them - but each to their own

Double post.

YoQuieroVino · Yesterday 21:17

AlleycatMarie · Yesterday 21:02

OP I was on your side initially, as your first post made out that you didn’t know they had a dog. But, it turns out you did know. What did you think they had done with the dog?!

Whatever people normally do with their dogs when they go on holiday? I have a dog, she has never been on holiday with us.

Mingou · Yesterday 21:27

XenoBitch · 06/08/2026 21:18

Kennels are not like hotels. You can't just ring a random one and book a dog in.

Show quote history

You can indeed do that. That's literally how they work.

grumpygrape · Yesterday 21:29

Mingou · Yesterday 21:27

You can indeed do that. That's literally how they work.

Show quote history

Don't have dogs but any Cattery with space at short notice on August isn't worth using.

Inquiringmum · Yesterday 21:36

Livelovelaughfuckoff · 06/08/2026 21:49

Wow you’re fucking rude. Hope the dog shits on your carpets.

Show quote history

The best comment so far 😂

Original poster
DoggyAuntie · Yesterday 21:40

AlleycatMarie · Yesterday 21:02

OP I was on your side initially, as your first post made out that you didn’t know they had a dog. But, it turns out you did know. What did you think they had done with the dog?!

There is nothing in my first post that suggests I didn't know they had a dog.

I didn't know what they had done with the dog.

They could have...

Left it with a friend.
Left it with a relative.
Put it in a kennel.
Left it at home and brought in a dog sitter to walk it.

What they didn't do was ask if they could bring it.

OP posts:
Grrrpredictivetex · Yesterday 21:44

I agree Dogs are not my idea of family and wouldn’t be impressed if someone turned up for a weekend with one.

Is the dog invited?
grumpygrape · Yesterday 21:51

DoggyAuntie · Yesterday 21:40

There is nothing in my first post that suggests I didn't know they had a dog.

I didn't know what they had done with the dog.

They could have...

Left it with a friend.
Left it with a relative.
Put it in a kennel.
Left it at home and brought in a dog sitter to walk it.

What they didn't do was ask if they could bring it.

Show quote history

….and what you didn’t do is SPEAK to them about it.

However, from your OP…..

I do not want the dog in my house.

My husband has said it's just one of those things.

Maybe you need to come to a resolution with your husband, who presumably has a stake in the house too ? Then agree a strategy, but of course, it's too late now because you have communicated sensibly with your husband and neither of you with his sister.

I am a very old person but when did communication drop off the list of capabilities of reasonable people ?

Maybe stop faffing around on Mumsnet and actually communicate with the people in your life.

Original poster
DoggyAuntie · Yesterday 21:56

grumpygrape · Yesterday 21:51

….and what you didn’t do is SPEAK to them about it.

However, from your OP…..

I do not want the dog in my house.

My husband has said it's just one of those things.

Maybe you need to come to a resolution with your husband, who presumably has a stake in the house too ? Then agree a strategy, but of course, it's too late now because you have communicated sensibly with your husband and neither of you with his sister.

I am a very old person but when did communication drop off the list of capabilities of reasonable people ?

Maybe stop faffing around on Mumsnet and actually communicate with the people in your life.

Show quote history

I had no reason to speak to them about it.

Their dog wasn't invited. They didn't ask to bring it. They were rude not to.

66% of people agree.

OP posts:
YoQuieroVino · Yesterday 21:56

grumpygrape · Yesterday 21:51

….and what you didn’t do is SPEAK to them about it.

However, from your OP…..

I do not want the dog in my house.

My husband has said it's just one of those things.

Maybe you need to come to a resolution with your husband, who presumably has a stake in the house too ? Then agree a strategy, but of course, it's too late now because you have communicated sensibly with your husband and neither of you with his sister.

I am a very old person but when did communication drop off the list of capabilities of reasonable people ?

Maybe stop faffing around on Mumsnet and actually communicate with the people in your life.

Show quote history

I might be old, but when did reading whole threads drop off the list of capabilities of reasonable people?
The OP has already said how she’s going to deal with it. In this instance, she’s decided not to talk to them about it and to suck up the dog visit, because her husband also has a say in what happens in his house. She has told us all this.

TheGoldenOwl · Yesterday 21:58

Do you know if the dog is male or female OP?

Isometimeswonder · Yesterday 21:58

@DoggyAuntie is it your house? As in solely yours?
If not, your husband gets a say too!

Original poster
DoggyAuntie · Yesterday 21:58

TheGoldenOwl · Yesterday 21:58

Do you know if the dog is male or female OP?

Nope.

Is that important?

OP posts:
Original poster
DoggyAuntie · Yesterday 22:00

Isometimeswonder · Yesterday 21:58

@DoggyAuntie is it your house? As in solely yours?
If not, your husband gets a say too!

If only there was some way you could find out this information...

OP posts:
Isometimeswonder · Yesterday 22:02

DoggyAuntie · Yesterday 22:00

If only there was some way you could find out this information...

Show quote history

I have no idea what you mean. I don't have access to the deeds.

YoQuieroVino · Yesterday 22:04

Isometimeswonder · Yesterday 22:02

I have no idea what you mean. I don't have access to the deeds.

Show quote history

I think she’s referring to the post on this thread where she says ‘it’s his house too’

TwoBagsOfCompost · Yesterday 22:04

maxslice · Yesterday 21:00

OP, what is the reason you haven’t just called them to sort things?

Edited

The reason is that it’s all caustic humour and sarcasm and irony here, but keeping the peace at home - even when she’s actually 100% right and I also wouldn’t want the dog to attend. But yeah it’s such a contradiction to her style here. You’d expect that she’d be capable of a polite “look I’m sorry but you can’t bring the dog” after all the caustic style here 😵‍💫

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