The double standards on here are getting out of hand

I guess because this is a place for women to support other women. And we have had some similar experiences so it’s easy for women to see it for another woman’s perspective.
And I think most of us know why mums/wives and annoyed.

It’s a site for parents.

I disagree. It isn't a place for women to support women. I hate the idea that women should trot along and support each other whilst simultaneously treating men like the devils lots of women on MN think they are. Many many women, including some that post on here, are dickheads.

I don't support women that are nobheads. I support people.

I have seen countless, seemingly good men post on MN, where they are doing literally nothing wrong and are still being treated like arseholes by their wives and they are told they must be failing somewhere, they must not be pulling their finger out, their wives are 'trying to tell them something' in the only way they know how and yet you'll get the exact same post from a woman and she's told the exact opposite.

The post yesterday that OP is talking about regarding an affair was pathetic. Your poorly husband must not have been providing you with enough hugs, yes he might have provided you with a home and enabled you to not work as your post says you wanted but please, do carry on fucking someone else!

OP is right, double standards on here are unbelievable.

I agree. Women on here are encouraged to have a secret money pot but when it's the other way the man gets a pile on.

I agree but I think it's a reaction towards the fact that in real life the double standards are so heavily in the other direction. A man is six times more likely to leave his wife after she gets a cancer diagnosis than the other way around. Men are so much more likely to be the parent to neglect their responsibilities to their children. I think it's cathartic for many women to be in an online space where they can put women first.

This place is full of divorcees who hate men. They want everyone to be like them.

Putting women first doesn't mean elevating them to a place where they can exploit their power. It does seem that many women do not want equality, they want revenge.

Sure….

Misery loves company. It reminds me of my aunt who fell out with a woman she had become really close to after she split with her husband because this woman met someone else and dared to try and love again.

This exactly

So go on the threads where you disagree with the advice people are giving and offer your own then. Surely that's more supportive of the men you feel are being treated unfairly than telling 'mumsnet' off for double standards? Someone or other moans about this on a regular basis, yet very rarely do I see those same user names supporting the OP themselves.

I'm afraid I see the occasional double standard on here as far less of a problem than the behaviour of some men towards women.

I have read some truly horrific accounts of abuse from me against women on here. That kind of behaviour is far worse and more damaging.

I also think that you'd find the same sort of double standard on a male equivalent to Mumsnet. Whilst men can and do post on here it is mostly women so the perspective is going to be female. Do you think it would be different amongst men? Of course not.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5263409-no-judgement-please

Agree 100%. This is pendulum going back the other direction...

Remember the recent thread where a woman pursued an ex that had told her he was partnered. She then got drunk, cornered him alone at a dinner party and tried to kiss him. At least half of responders told her it wasn't a big deal and we all do silly things when we are drunk and sad.

Completely agree. The step parents particularly get a rough time of it and I think that's from the women who are divorced and the ex husband has remarried.

What utter utter bullshit. What power?

Yeah, the cancer one shocked me to be honest.

That poor man having a horrible illness he may not recover from and his wife feeling upset about possibly having to leave her affair to care for him! It was like her husband's potentially terminal illness was inconveniencing her life.

I understand she was just being honest, but those suggesting for her to continue the affair as she needs the support are seriously misguided - it is just cruel behaviour! A man would (rightly) be condemned for it.

Perhaps it is just different people posting on different threads. It's not as if each post represents the thoughts of the whole group.

I don't hate men. I hate the behaviours that are more typically shown by men in our culture, and in many other cultures. I hate the impact that this has on women. When I read about those behaviours, or women's vulnerability in the face of the power imbalance inherent in mixed sex relationships, I hate that too. Hope that helps.

Because men and women aren't equal in real life. Men often use women for everything they can get. Women much less likely. Women are given the benefit of the doubt because mostly they are the ones being treated badly. Also this is a forum for mums. It might say parents but it's really women. We are allowed to stick up for each other. We don't always have to think about what's best for men.

Oh, so that's what's wrong with society? Too much bias towards women! Thanks for setting us right OP.

I think the patriarchy will continue to thrive, OP, don’t worry.

So you went on to the thread and told the OP this, did you? You gave her your own better advice on how to manage her situation?