The double standards on here are getting out of hand

We wield individual power in our relationships. It seems that many women want women to died more power generally not so things are equal, but so they have the upper hand. You see it in this very thread with some women already saying things that suggest as much.

I think as a civilised society, we shouldn't want the pendulum to swing back in the other direction. We should want it to stay still. Equality. Not revenge.

The same double standards exist the other way in real life though, you just don’t see them written on a forum:

Man walks down the street, nobody bats an eyelid.
Woman walks down the street & is told ‘cheer up luv’ ‘smile’ etc.

Woman lies on the beach and topless sunbathes & is described as ‘attention seeking’, lacking dignity etc.
Man with same size breasts as above mentioned woman walks openly along beach promenade, sunbathes, and moves throughout hotel topless. Nobody bats an eyelid.

Was it the same posters you are talking about commenting on both threads?

Or are you saying that some people respond to X situation in one way whereas different people respond to a different, albeit similar, situation in a different way?

People frequently talk about "MN" as if there were a committee-approved opinion rather than the very obvious fact different threads attract different people with differing views.

They probably think the man brought the cancer on himself and is selfish for bailing on the woman in question.

It seems that many women want women to died more power generally not so things are equal, but so they have the upper hand.

Can you post an example of where you have inferred this?

The fidelity posts really highlight this. Like the male strip club one where the woman licked cream off a penis. Half the posts were "forgive yourself, it was one mistake".

I can't remember to be honest but I would have done so, whether to a man or woman.

I'm all for supporting women in difficult situations but worrying about an affair when someone you are married to (who is not abusive) could be dying is just terrible behaviour.

I am always suspicious of men posting on here. It's a site for women, bla bla parents, no, the posters are predominantly female. When someone posts here, they know they are posting to a female audience, and you should consider why a man is doing that.

Did any of the advise given to you in your other thread helped at all?

I agree. Women on here are encouraged to have a secret money pot but when it's the other way the man gets a pile on.

Women are most likely to be lower earners in a relationship, more likely to be primary carer, more likely to work part time or not at all. They are more likely to experience domestic abuse. They often don’t have ready access to “family” savings. This means they are very vulnerable should the relationship end or they need to leave.

I’d argue that anyone who reduces their earning power because of caring responsibilities should have some form of private funds available to them, male or female, but women are more likely to be in that position.

I’d argue that anyone who reduces their earning power because of caring responsibilities should have some form of private funds available to them, male or female, but women are more likely to be in that position.

Exactly. I've seen a thread full of posters concerned about a vulnerable young man in that position. It's just less likely to be posted about on MN.

Why stay here then? Why not try the rest of the internet, which is largely male dominated, so you can enjoy a balanced and fair discussion?

That's only suggested if she's in a vulnerable position where she's given up her job, taking care of the children etc. Nobody suggests that if the woman is earning more than the man that she should do that. I do find it frightening how often women leave themselves wide open to financial abuse and would always recommend they have a little safety pot of money in case they need to get out of the situation.

Of course the pendulum hasn't swung in the other direction. Men will always have the advantage of being able to have biological children without being pregnant and giving birth and without the subsequent negative impact on their careers. Men will always be physically stronger than women and more likely to be physically abusive. The gender pay gap still exists. Only 23% of women are in C-Suite jobs. Men are more likely to have affairs than women.

Women don't yet have equality so I'm not sure why policies to reduce the inequalities between men and women can be described as revenge.

@Didimum it is literally named MUMSnet.

The only reason men are promoted as being welcomed with open arms is because nowadays we are obsessed with being inclusive.

It seems mumsnet is based on opinions and judgements. It does seem to be one rule for women and one for men. But that is a generalisation not all women blame men for having affairs for example. Maybe unhappy people have affairs not that it’s ok people still get hurt.
Also traditionally women stayed at home men were the earners now society has changed but in a lot of relationships women are working and doing the bulk of the home expectations too. Equality dies not seem to exist in many relationships, which may be the bigger issue. Who knows what the answer is but if mums net didn’t allow opinions it wouldn’t exist.

So, dowry...?

I'm a divorcee {Husband had affair} but I don't hate men, or {even ex husband}
I do agree that there is a lot of advice to ''Leave the bastard'' if a man does something mildly wrong.

There are some scrotes about, just as there are some awful women.

Right here in this thread. The glee over the "pendulum swinging the other way" and the thoughts like this:

So, dowry…?

Where on earth did you get that from what I wrote?

Yes this, Women encouraged to marry for security but when she has more than the husband she's told not to get married

Maybe read the whole post not just my first sentence.

And it literally says ‘for parents’ in the info banner.

If you don’t care for inclusivity then find another platform.