The double standards on here are getting out of hand

Maybe actual posters who post differing advice towards men and women could be given a short ban. That has to be the same poster, not two completely different people with different opinions. It sounds like there are some people on this thread who might be able to police that.

OPs could post without giving their sex/gender so the advice has to be neutral.

Posters could have to give both kinds of advice in their post. If you are a man, you should ....... If you are a woman, you should ......

Have the people who feel the double standards are a problem got any other thoughts?

Well I don’t know what thread it is so how can I?

OK, so I could say that some unsuccessful men hate women because these women are better educated, more intelligent and better looking and they would never ever dream of dating these obviously inferior men, and that would be fine as I was offering an opinion, not giving advice? Good to know.

So when the poster said some and a minority of women you hear always?

Of course you can say that as it is blatantly obvious that is the case. Nowhere in my posts have I stated that misogyny does not exist. In fact, I stated that both beliefs are equally abhorrent.
But this thread in particular is about misandry.
At any rate, I agree with you on that note.

They also allow non-parents.

Head. Blown.

In many threads on here this does apply, probably more often than not. However I don't see how a woman who is cheating on her sick husband is any kind of victim. Shame on the women trying to encourage her to carry on cheating .

@TeddybearBaby "If I’m totally honest it is also because I have a son and I feel he’s being judged through no fault of his own other than being male."

I have a son too, and I don't feel this. In what sort of circumstances does your son feel judged?

But you acknowledge this is very hard to prove, right? My dad sexually abused me from a baby, what evidence am I meant to have of this as an adult? None, so I shouldn't be believed i guess. What does that do to mine and other women's mental health? How about acknowledging our lives can be ruined by this?

I don’t know if he does (I’ll ask him later) but I was referring to the ‘me too’ movement because to believe all females means to disbelieve all males no questions asked doesn’t it?

Out of interest, do you blame all the men who sexually abuse (and lie about it) for this percieved image being projected on to your son by society, or just the women being believed when they speak out?

Yes, I acknowledge that we’re all seeing this through our own lens and our own experience. I’m so sorry to hear about what happened to you. I hope you’ve had lots of support from family and professionals and I’m also sorry you wasn’t protected.

I still don’t think it means that all men get tarred with the same brush as that evil monster though.

Taking comments from a few posters and using them to make out that all of Mumsnet are man hating hypocritical harridans is not a good faith argument imo. The first few posters on the thread you are raging about said no such thing.

Hypocrisy or double standards is when the same poster gives different advice depending on who's asking. Its your opinion that the advice is different when its a man asking; in fact the advice may be different depending on the situation.

I know. It is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.

If I say one thing on one thread and you say the opposite on a different thread, then how the ever loving fuck is that a double standard?

And yet, as you say, such a simple thing appears beyond the ability of some to understand.

I mean, it's not hard, so I can only assume they have an agenda that facts just get in the way of.

Do I blame the sick and twisted men at all for making it more difficult for the good guys? I think that was what you said…… and yes I do but what difference does that make?

I think men are much more likely to commit violent crimes and crimes of a sexual nature. Keep them out of our changing rooms, keep them out our toilets, our refuges, our prisons, our sports and any female only space.

I think it’s offensive my son would lumped in with those people just because he has a penis. He’s nothing like them.

ps sorry I didn’t realise I could see the question above me when I repeated it!

@ImWithGuineaPigsOnThisOne "Shame on the women trying to encourage her to carry on cheating ."

I haven't read the thread concerned, but I suspect I might agree with you because I am strongly opposed to people having affairs. But I am frustrated by the way some posters on here call double standards or condemn women based on a single example. Then NAMALT all the threads and threads about men behaving thoughtlessly/selfishly/unkindly.....and everything up to and including seriously abusively.

No, I've not had support other than from my sister and a paid for, expensive therapist (my cost to bare), as well as my very lovely partner. My mum is a misogynist who thinks women routinely lie about rape, and it's so unfair to men, so I know she won't believe me because I loved my dad (she doesn't understand grooming).
Sexual abuse ruins womens lives.

Well the difference is I often see women blamed for ruining men's lives, for society apparently seeing men as abusers and liars because they speak out, but I don't often see abusive men being blamed for making men look bad.

That’s horrific. I’m glad you have your sister and partner to lean on and even though the therapist is expensive I hope they help and it’s worth it.

I’m sorry about your experience with your mum too, makes me feel almost as sick as your dad.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad, Im ok, I've been in very dark places in the past, but Im ok now, I just wanted to explain why women don't always have evidence, that doesn't mean they should be silenced too. It really destroys lives, they shouldn't be made to feel bad for talking about their experiences too.

I used to work in a male dominated environment and they were so toxic. I definitely know there are disgusting men out there and they are the ones that have made it harder, I don’t mind admitting that.

Naunet, I’m so sorry. Is your dad gone now?

Unfortunately not! He's not around children though and I'm not sure he'd be brave enough to try it with anyone else, he seemed to have a weird fixation on me. If i thought he had the oppotunity though, even though I have no evidence, I'd have to try and go to the police, I couldn't stand by and let that happen to another child.

NAMALT.

Great. Exactly what victims of sustained CSA, child abuse, VAWG, and sexual violence, really need to hear. I find it an ever-constant source of surprise that some people can be quite this tone deaf. In any event, who ever said AMALT? I'm unaware of anyone. What I am aware of is the unassailable statistics, that the overwhelming (to the tune of 98%+) perpetrators of sexual crime are men.

NAMALT, but almost all the perpetrators are men, and abuse of this nature is so rife that these men cannot be in a minority. They simply can't. And that is an uncomfortable point to confront in a society which is far easier with levelling blame at women - or suggesting that we lie - than that too many men - way too many men - abuse.

I'm mother to a lovely son, wife to a very loving man, sister to a caring and sensitive brother. I'm also the daughter of a violent, abusive monster of a father. I don't view it as any benefit to my child to raise him in denial of the fact that these very unpleasant facts do indeed exist - and that an acknowledgement of this uncomfortable truth means society is somehow out to 'persecute' men. They are not the ones mainly on the receiving end of the shit-stick, and denial of the facts in the light of them, personally, being lovely people is a deep segue from what is actually a very pressing - and worsening - social problem.

How on earth do we bring our boys up from childhood to be better men - the good men who are not violent, who don't abuse, who don't view women as receptacles for male need - if we keep our arses in the air and our heads firmly embedded in the sand?

Nor do we raise our boys in a vacuum. And that is a fact to really keep me awake at night.

I’m glad he’s not around children. Do you think your mother knew?