The double standards on here are getting out of hand

Yes Pearl and and I am a unicorn 🙄

Wow, horribly misogynistic post. Educate yourself, it's not too late.

Essentially many of the posts in this thread are trying to say 'I disagree with many of the views posted on MN' as if that's in some way unusual

I agree, male and female posters are answered very differently. I post quite a bit, but if someone is being a complete cow I tend to bite my tongue and just ‘like’ someone else’s response. Nobody likes a pile on.

Equality has a long way to go, but huge progress has been made in my lifetime with the support of some men. I believe the tendency to view men and women as totally different beings with different feelings, capacities and duties causes a lot of the problems in the personal, social and political spheres.

If we are making the case for equal treatment we need to appreciate that we are all individuals but we share far more than we often give credit for. Men as a class are not the enemy.

You're absolutely right, female entitlement is the main cause of problems in society.... (yeah, right)

FOUR PEOPLE WROTE SOMETHING THAT I CONSIDER TO BE WRONG!

WHO ELSE HAS NOTICED THIS PHENOMENON? IT MUST BE BECAUSE THEY ARE WOMEN!!

Or they do not want equality, they want women on top and men in the gutter. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Feminism is striving for equality and equal opportunity which applies to men and women, boys and girls.

I get that levelling up means a focus on girls re sport, computers, maths, sciences etc but sometimes it feels that boys today are almost being punished or pushed down for the sins of their gender, which affected women negatively from before they were born.

They should have equal opportunities but girls shouldn’t be pushed ahead of boys or children taught that it is the girls who are special and talented with loads of exciting opportunities in store - they both should be. It’s almost like we’re trying to address the shittiness of the past but still impacting one gender negatively at the expense of the other, only now it’s the other way around and it’s generally accepted bc women and girls have had to endure crap for so long.

But today’s boys are blameless in that treatment. I understand that there is still an imbalance in favour of men in employment etc and it is vital that boys are now taught that they are not better than girls or men better than women, but I also see how todays boys and young men are being attracted to the vileness of Andrew Tate and his crew, (I know still worlds apart and countless will point out the power imbalance of atrocious behaviours such as domestic violence to name one aspect) but now it is bordering almost on a gender reversal with them having to feel empowered and validated - particularly young, white w/c boys and youths who we know are in the bottom for academic achievement etc and have been for decades.

As I say I know it still isn’t equal and there is currently a concerted drive to push girls ahead to make up for the previous deficit, but I think there should be sensitivity to the fact we should be teaching ALL children that no matter the gender, race or religion they are all equal to one another and this will continue into adulthood and for the rest of their lives

YES! They want their choices validated, or what happened to them to be seen as inevitable, rather than really painful life stuff and failures from all sides.

I've spent my whole career working with people who violently and sexually offend. Guess what almost entirely men, and predominantly white.
Equality isn't treating everyone the same. Given the inherent misogyny in society why shouldn't there be a place for women to support women.

Er, could that possibly be because men overwhelmingly earn more than women and overwhelmingly are likely to be the main breadwinner in the household?

Youre not really comparing like for like here.

Society structurally benefits men financially at women’s expense. Women’s careers almost always end up being sidelined and thus their ability to be financially autonomous. Women are massively financially disadvantaged by child raising.

Having your own money is just common sense.

So one poster writes that they observe "the pendulum swinging back" and from that you claim that "many women" want to hold unequal power over men?

That is poor reasoning. Please don't assume that one person speaks for a whole sex class. As if you can even tell which sex someone is online!

I agree, OP. The missandry on here gets worse and worse. Plus there’s a real ‘misery loves company’ vibe from women who married a wrong ‘un, and want to make the rest of us believe all men are bastards.

I see this peddled out as a double standard on here all the time but there’s more to it. If a woman has given up/slowed down her career path and/or only works part time or not at all so that they both can have children then she will be much more financially dependent on her husband/partner. In these circumstances (especially considering the amount of awful men we read about here - fortunately not representative of the men I know in real life) then it might be a good idea to have some money stashed away in case it’s needed.
Often when we read on mn about a man who has secret money he’s the one with all the financial control anyway so it would be unfair and not at all equivalent to my example here of a woman putting a bit of money aside for herself so she can maintain a degree of financial independence.
Conversely if a man had given up work to be sahp then it wouldn’t be fair for the woman to keep secret money for herself. Each case needs to be judged on its own merits.

Got it in one.

139 replies. 94 of them condemning the OP or advising in her husband's interests, several deletions from people who must have broken guidelines in their rush to be as offensive to her as possible. So, double standards..?

I think they should change the banner actually. The site has plenty of topics for people, both men and women, who aren't parents at all. Maybe they should change the name too. MN were happy to evolve and diversify and add hundreds of non-parenting topics, so the original name has long since been outgrown (and leads to these silly statements that it's for women parents only).

Having said that, it takes a brave man to come on the site, AIBU especially, as they tend to get pulled to pieces no matter how well meaning they are.

I agree.

I blame the increased availability of porn which skews the minds of impressionable men and promotes misogyny.

@OopsyDaisie I don't think the pendulum will ever fully go the other direction which is why there's absolutely nothing wrong with women supporting women on a site (mainly) full of women.
OP there may have been some comments on that thread saying to continue the affair but I find majority say end it and not to cheat if it's a man or woman cheater.

I've been here 10 years plus and it's always been like this.

This 💯

Don't worry OP the patriarchy is still
Alive and kicking. Women are still killed on average 2/3 times a week by their partner, rape convictions are around 1%, and 3 out of 5 women continue to have been sexually assaulted. Majority of women are in prison for non violent crimes and yet have head injuries.

So don't worry, You are still winning.

You're absolutely right OP, the little women are getting carried away with having their own opinions. What we really need here is some male moderators to police us, because men have always been known for their 100% fair views between the sexes, they certainly don't have a real life history of appaling double standards against women.
Poor men.

Ha of course

I agree with this.

MN has broadened my outlook and, for example, I can absolutely see the importance of a SAHM or one that goes part time for family reasons (like myself) to protect their pensions etc. This educational aspect of MN has been good.

I have actually recommended to a couple of chaps I work with whose wives are SAHM or part-time, that they give some consideration to their long term financial planning and ensure they are paying as much as they can into their wife's pension, as it will benefit them both in the long run. I said that nobody pointed this out to me all those years ago and it is a big regret as I get closer to retirement age.

But I dislike the "all men are bastards" attitude that crops up, as well as the attitude that I see so often that working is the only way to have a fulfilling life, and anyone who CHOOSES to be a SAHM must either be poorly educated, have no drive or be very boring. I actually saw a post the other day that said pretty much that.

I, like most of my friends, liked to have more time at home while the children were small, we definitely don't consider ourselves poorly educated, lacking in ambition or boring. But we do value a happy and secure home life for all our family, including ourselves, and also value our own skills in running an organised home. Most of us have returned to the work place to varying degrees, but I feel it was the best decision for my family as a whole to be a SAHM for a few years, and I dislike the sneering attitude that I often see on here.

I appreciate it's not an option for some but I often think that some (not all) of the snarkier comments against SAHMs are from some who could have stayed home more, chose not to and now have some regrets about that decision.

It's only double standards if the same few people are posting rather than thousands of different posters, with different experiences and opinions.

You don't really understand the phrase do you? 😂