To ask DH to continue to work

YABU. Get off your arse and get a job to help find the lifestyle you want.

Jesus.

Where does it say OP doesn't work?

First post nailed it as usual.

@GogAndMagog jeez get a grip

Is the reason for the move to reduce costs? A nice house in London plus multiple school fees on one salary presumably means your DH has a job with long hours and lots of responsibility in order to pay well. Does he actually want to move to the countryside or does he want a better work life balance and this is his solution?

I’m guessing he has a massively stressful job and is about to burn out??

if that is the case

you are being massively unreasonable

The post says “I don’t” , do you work or not OP?

You might want to edit your post if there’s still time. Your first two words imply you don’t work but you think your DH should, despite him wanting to stop.

What are his reasons?
Does he feel that the finances won't be enough going forwards?

Your post is misleading. The 'I don't' seems to refer to your title where you say you want your DH to continue to work, suggesting you don't.

Does he have a very stressful job & life & want to pare it back as you say reset?

Why does he want to move?

Neither of you are being unreasonable. He's not wrong to want to move to the country and you're not wrong to love your current life and want to prioritise your DC's education (although there are great schools outside London too).

Keep talking to each other OP. Can you find a compromise? Would you be prepared to move in say 5 years (or will that be a bad time for the DC?).

You haven't really explained what it has to do with his work Op

I don’t think either of you are unreasonable. But if it means uprooting the DC’s education I’d be inclined to agree with you and stay put until youngest has finished school.

YANBU for not wanting to move. I think alot of people idolise country living but the reality doesn't always live up to the fantasy. Especially if you're used to city life.

Is he stressed in his job? You have a large house and kids in private school. How is buying a weekend cottage going to ease the financial burden on him? Its not fair to expect him to stay in a job he hates to fund your dream lifestyle. If that is the issue.

There is a compromise here. You don't need a big house with a annex. Would downsizing to a smaller house in London ease the pressure on him?. Your friends can sort their own accommodation. Your children don't have to be in private schools either. I'm sure there's lots of other ways you can cut back so you can stay in London.

Do you have a choice realistically? It's your husband work that is enabling your lifestyle. You can't afford it without him and you can't force him to keep working in this job if he doesn't want to. He isn't intending to stop work and plunge his family into punary, is he? He's suggested a perfectly adequate lifestyle for you all, which I get isn't your preference, but unfortunately you (personally) need to cut your coat to your own cloth, because its not OK to force a partner to work because you want to enjoy a particular standard of living you cannot afford. Could you downsize and stay in London as a compromise?

Lol. You're having us on aren't you?

Is your current lifestyle dependent on your h carrying on in his current job? is he happy in his current work? presumably not if he wants a lifestyle reset?

Does he want to stop working altogether? Or get a different job?

You haven't explained yourself very well. The title of your post suggests your DH wants to give up work but the text suggests he just wants to move. Do you mean that if you move out of London he can give up work and live off the proceeds of sale? You need to clarify.

Your post title is misleading. Will the house move mean that your DH can give up work? Is it the moving out of London or DH giving up his job that you disagree with or both? If you want to stay in London, can you get a better paid job so that he can step back from being the main earner but still stay in London?

"I am happy and content with the life I have worked so hard to create for our family."

Seems like this lovely life is paid for by your husband working hard though?

Not to diminish the value of your domestic labour and childcare but it is interesting you see your lifestyle as being created solely by your own hard work (no mention of your husband's input).

If he wants to reduce costs (perhaps he is well aware that he isn't going to be able to continue to earn enough to maintain this lifestyle) then you can reduce costs without having to move to the countryside. London has many great state schools and you can downsize homes and do without a guest annex, perhaps even in a slightly less fancy neighborhood

Your lifestyle is very much dependent on your DHs job. Have you discussed and considered that he might be under significant stress and pressure to maintain school fees and living in London. Sounds like he has reached a tipping point where you both need room sit down, reevaluate your priorities and consider options.