Is this not looking after myself?

It depends entirely on whether you could afford to dress differently but choose not to because or whether you would like more clothes but don't feel you can/should buy them.

I own one pair of jeans, one pair of running trousers, two dresses, two cardigans and a few t shirts. I wear a t shirt to bed. I have 9 pound pair of basic shoes from Tesco and some flip flops.

Why? You’re not on the breadline. Why do you only have one pair of shoes and about three outfits? You say ‘DD always has decent clothes’, so you clearly don’t think yours are decent.

No, that isn’t taking care of yourself particularly well. You don’t need to spend a huge amount of money and be massively consumerist, but I’m not seeing the reason to live like that.

If your clothes are always clean and weather appropriate then I would say you are looking after yourself and it's up to you what you wear.

But you earn a huge salary. I would live a little if I were you. I have ridiculous amounts of clothes but never ever buy anything new - all vintage fairs, Vinted and charity shops. You can have lots of options to fit your style and budget and make you feel good without buying new things. I never spend more than £10-£15 on an item of clothing and frequently less than £3.

Unless your mortgage/rent is very high you should have more than enough to buy a few bits, if you want to of course. Look on Vinted if you're worried about money, but I have about the same as you, also single parent and have lots of clothes (although often wear the same ones!)

I couldn’t manage with that few clothes. I think it really isn’t very much by anyone’s standards unless you are strapped for cash.

I am all for having a capsule wardrobe but that sounds a bit extreme. You know you can buy lots of very reasonably priced clothes on vinted? What do you wear in cold weather??

What do you wear for work?

Are you the same lady has multiple thread about want to pay of your mortgage early, how you only have one towel and who’s son’s bedroom and bathroom is well looked aftef but not the rest of the house?

You sound very frugal. You don't have to spend much. I bought a lovely linen dress for £1 on vinted and a brand new Next one for £4!

If you’re happy and have enough that you can always wear clean clothes then that’s fine. It is a very scant wardrobe though - it doesn’t give you a lot of leeway if you have an issue like a broken washing machine or a few days of flu where you can’t get laundry done.

If the issue is that you feel undeserving of new clothes I would really try and step away from that idea. You’re entitled to a sufficient, comfortable wardrobe.

Would you like more variety or are you not bothered?

My mum did similar for many years, she would simply not acknowledge that what she needed was important as well. There wasn't really any need for it, and for many years unfortunately she looked awful.

This is the sort of thing I did when I was young and desperately poor as I had no alternative. To me your own a massive salary so not having a suitable change of clothes for the weather when you are soaking wet is extreme. Although according to Tiktok you're doing under consumption core

What on earth do you wear in a heat wave? Surely not jeans?

Some people aren't bothered about clothes, but this is crazy. You don't even have all weather/seasons covered in your wardrobe.

Have you always been like this?

It’s up to you how you live, but it’s highly unusual to have such few clothes. One pair of jeans? You don’t own shorts? Vest tops? A blazer? You haven’t even mentioned a jumper? You can’t tell me you don’t own a jumper? Or a hoodie? If you get cold later on tonight, do you wear one of your two cardigans? Your wardrobe and chests of drawers must be empty. It’s just not enough clothes for everyday life. Today is scorching, so you wear a dress I assume?

Over the next few days I’ve got a family BBQ, a day trip to a theme park, an important meeting at work, a day where I need to garden and take the dogs to the vet. All those things warrant very different clothes, you just don’t have enough.

I can see why your Mum is worried. I would be too. You take home a good wage and live like a pauper. No offence but I suspect the average homeless person carries more change of clothes with them than you have at home.

Your mum isn't wrong.

There's frugal and there's extreme.

No need to go crazy, you can pick up all kinds of nice stuff on ebay/vinted for not much.

Why not start buying a few bits for winter - a nice coat and some leather boots to start you off.

I recognise this post I think. You've posted about this before but in a slightly different way.

Plenty of money but for some reason wants to discuss just owning about 4 items of clothing

Baffling

Whether you are looking after yourself or not depends on whether your tiny wardrobe bothers you. I would rather spend money on books and experiences than clothes so I probably buy 3-4 new items of clothes a year. Some years I buy none. I have maybe 10 pairs of shoes but only wear one. It's fine. Nobody has ever accused me of not looking after myself. But I also never found myself in a situation when I had nothing to wear because laundry wasn't done. I generally have enough change of clothes for it not to be an issue.

Yeah, I thought it rang a bit of a bell.

Of course you should own more clothes. You're not on the bones of your arse.

Spending £50 on Vinted for a couple of pairs of trousers, some shorts, a decent sweatshirt and a few tops isn’t going to stop you from getting on the property ladder.

It's down to you how you dress ultimately, but you don't seem to have many clothes for the different seasons?

As others have said, VINTED can be good and so can some charity shops.

Even doubling that would still be a scant quantity of clothes, but would be a better insurance against laundry issues or selecting clothes for different weather conditions.

More clothes= wearing out over a longer period of time.

You think occasionally spending £20 on a couple of things from Vinted is what’s going to keep you from getting on the property ladder?

What do you and your DD eat? Do you live on lentils and gruel? Do you go on days out? Do you ever meet up with friends and have a meal or a coffee? The cinema?

Basically, are you frugal with everything or just with your clothing?