Is this not looking after myself?

I have a wardrobe and many drawers of clothes and still have a circular of 3 outfits I feel comfortable in. You do you and ignore anyone else

Depends if you're happy with your clothes or not. I would find that few clothes miserable, but it's perfectly adequate if you're not bothered.
I've been loving thrift+ recently to replenish my post kids wardrobe though. Really cheap.

I’d hang fire just a little while until mid-winter weight things are in the shops since we’re already in August.
Do you have a presentable/practical coat?
I suggest you go somewhere like Sainsbury’s for the Tu range and you pick up perhaps four or five separates items that you can mix and match colour-wise and that will increase the options quite a bit.
I understand your concern about the debt but a little too n some clothes a couple of times a year isn’t going to make much difference; I even wonder if your letting your ex still kind of rule your life a bit thinking you don’t deserve more or you have stint yourself to get away from the relationship or something.

That doesn't sound remotely practical in terms of washing or being physically comfortable for the season. Surely the cost of running the washing machine all the time is more than just buying a few extra items so you can do fewer loads?

I'm a minimalist/ against excessive consumption. I consume high quality, long lasting, ethically made items in low quantities. For example I own 7 pairs of socks, 7 pairs of knickers, 3 PJ sets, 1 coat etc, and replace them when they are knackered, but don't increase the quantity. People think I am well dressed as my items stand out, but when they find out how little I own, they think I'm a bit nuts.

However even to me your situation sounds a bit extreme. What if your 1 pair of jeans gets ripped and other bottoms are in the wash? If you've had an intervention, it really must be quite bad. People at work wouldn't tell you. You do notice of someone turns up in the same pair of jeans every single day.

I presume you are in London/ another high cost location?

If you're worried about money, make a proper budget. On 3.7K, I'd like to hope that you are paying off 1K+ of the debt monthly. Is it possible for you to reduce the interest rate to 0/ lower rate? Are you saving as well? Saving rates usually aren't that great compared to interest rates, so would recommend paying off debt over saving too much.

Regarding clothing, what do you like?

Even premium high street brands like Reiss, Ralph Lauren, Me&Em etc sell for very little on Vinted. If you don't want used stuff (although much of it is with tags on!), have a look at sales (now on). Again, I'm not sure about your likes and budgets at all, but if you prefer nicer stuff, put 100 GBP aside to buy something every 3 months. That's 33 pounds a month, the cost of a few days' commute... Surely you can afford that if you think about it?

It's very odd and it feeds into the narrative that you are in debt and still renting.

You earn well but do you feel poor? Because this is exactly how I would feel in your position.

Set yourself a monthly clothing budget and buy yourself a few things. They don't need to cost a lot. I find lots of lovely things in charity shops. My favourite one sells items for around £2.50.

Also, of your mum is well off and worried about that, has she offered any financial help to pay the debt off/ get a mortgage, if she can afford it? I know it can be hard to accept help as an adult child but it's a lot more common than you think.

I think you at least need a pair of shoes and a nightie/pyjamas. Also maybe a pair of trousers and another couple of tops. Then next month say a pair of trainers and the month after a pair of boots and a jacket.

I had hardly any clothes when I bought my first home as a single person and wore the same black trousers on a night out for a long time. For work I bought a few supermarket smart clothes which were fine. But you do need more!

Depends what makes you happy really. I suspect your mum as she is your mum is worried you are punishing yourself too much or are maybe depressed

I can understand you have a goal and are trying to get there, do you have an end date in mind or amount?

It is completely up to you and not anyone else business. Clothes may be aren’t your thing. That’s fine. May be other things make you happy. Only you will know if there is something underlying it. I’m a bit cross with your mum for pointing this out and making you worry, rather than just asking you how you are.

If it’s not important to you that’s fine. It’s no one else’s business. As others have said if you do need a few more bits you can get things super cheaply on vinted.

I don’t have many clothes because I just don’t really care about them. I have about 2 pairs of trousers, a handful of t shirts and a couple of dresses. No jeans or anything like that as I don’t find them comfortable. But I don’t work now due to health issues and being comfortable is my main thing, I don’t really care if people see me wearing the same thing a lot - I wash everything after each wear and just rotate things. My Mum was always really into clothes and fashion and I know she’d be horrified 🤣

Sure, but she's renting and has debt. Her clothes are clean.

She doesn't even have a nightie or a pair of pyjamas.

I think it's important to remember that you are allowed to have a life if you rent and have debt. I was in that position for 20 years and it never occurred to me that I would not have more than 2 pairs of trousers.

So it comes back to whether it is an active choice - if thats the way you want it that's great. If that's the way you think it has to be, then that isn't the case. A pair of jeans and a jumper from a supermarket won't cost very much and might make life easier having a spare pair.

You don't have many clothes at all! If you don't want to spend much, go on Vinted. I got a whole new wardrobe!

I am glad you posted and have learned a lot from reading the replies. I have a similar take home salary, but v little outgoings. I think, as others have pointed out, it comes down to what your underpinning emotions or thoughts are about buying clothes - is it fear, I don't deserve this, I look terrible so what's the point, or, I should be paying off my debt, or something else. I may have missed the answer but were you always like this. If no then what's changed. Can you visualise things being different? I have tried buying clothes and end up giving them away. Do you have 'rules' that you set yourself. I empathise completely with you. For me it's not practical or the 'right' way to live but I can't seem to change it. What do you think about the replies. Do you want to change?

Well OP, if not having many clothes is considered not looking after yourself then I'll join you in your self abuse.

I've no interest in fashion and wear the same 2 or 3 'staple items" all the time, because they're comfortable and fit me well.

Hope you told her to mind her own business (or at least thought it). Godda love people who give unsolicited advice about how to live your life or answer the question you never asked

Oh, and I hate clothes shopping so only do it when I have to.

Charity shops are a solution. Everything except my underwear and shoes is charity shop. A few quid for a new outfit is not breaking the bank on nearly £4k take home. I'm on far less.

That sounds like false economy to me. If you're having to do lots of small wash loads because you don't have enough clothes then that will cost a lot more than buying a few more outfits.

If you just can't be bothered with having more clothes and were comfortable with that, that would be fine. But it sounds a bit like there's anxiety about money there and you could afford to have a bit more, there's no need to limit yourself like that.

What sort of clothes do you like? Perhaps we can suggest some budget alternatives that won’t break the bank but will give you a bit more of a variety.

Get yourself on asos and do an order, you can pay in 3.

That’s clearly not enough clothes as you have found out. I understand not wanting an excessive amount but surely even triple this amount would be a tiny amount. With all the wearing and washing, your clothes will soon look worn anyway so why not buy a few more so that you have a reasonable amount to rotate and no worries about washing / weather etc?

surely you could afford to buy a couple of things a month until you have a decent capsule wardrobe?

I get that. I barely wanted to spend money on a notebook when I was saving for a house.

I've not bought any clothes in about 18 months I think! I had a big sort out and basically I wear pretty much the same jeans (three pairs), a couple of dresses and a variety of tops, often gym wear, and some relaxed bottoms. Decent t-shirts, a few cotton shirts, couple of blouses. I would like to start to invest in better quality dresses.

The reason it works for me I think is I got a sort of uniform going and a selection of colours - had my colours done professionally. This helps as I can buy things on Vinted for cheap but know they work as they are my colours. Ditto I can buy things that are cheap or on sale in my colours - my colours always look more expensive than they are. Also more impactful and noticeable.