Is this not looking after myself?

158 replies

Salagaee · 10/08/2024 17:42

I earn reasonably well but am a single parent so always feel a bit worried about money. My take home is 3,700. I own one pair of jeans, one pair of running trousers, two dresses, two cardigans and a few t shirts. I wear a t shirt to bed. I have 9 pound pair of basic shoes from Tesco and some flip flops.

Today the weather turned a bit here and I hadn’t washed my jeans so put on my running trousers. I met some family and my mum took me to one side and asked why I was always essentially circulating between two outfits and that I really needed to live a bit and dress myself the same way I dress dd (dd always has decent clothes). she said she had noticed I never wear anything different and it’s not normal or necessary and suggests I don’t look after myself properly. Is she right? She didn’t say it in a nasty way but I can’t stop thinking about it.

OP posts:

HauntedbyMagpies · 11/08/2024 14:24

@Salagaee In answer to your question, no. I'd say you're not looking after yourself. Are DD's needs met? Do you both shower regularly and have 3 meals a day? Is your house clean? These are also factors

PinkPolkadotFlamingo · 11/08/2024 15:08

I am not quite as extreme as you OP, but I do have a pretty limited wardrobe at the moment due to full-time nursery fees. If I spent money on new clothes, I would have no money for days out, etc and that's a bigger priority at the moment. As soon as DS (nearly 3) is in primary school, I'll have a serious wardrobe upgrade, but I'd rather look a bit of a mess and actually have spare cash to do things in the interim.

Hadtohide · 12/08/2024 15:32

@PinkPolkadotFlamingo i understand that you might not have money to spend on clothes now but surely you must have quite a few things from pre DC times?

i enjoy buying new things (often not new but on vinted) but if I had to I could probably wear current clothes for at least the next 10 years.

PinkPolkadotFlamingo · 12/08/2024 18:45

@Hadtohide Not as much as you would think, as a lot of it is very dated or no longer suits me.

For example, I have only been able to afford one loose/wide leg pair of jeans, although I possess a few pairs of skinny ones, which no one wears now.

Also, I used to wear fitted dresses, and while I am still slim, post having my son, my arse is smaller and my stomach muscles are less tight, so these no longer look good on me, and again, no one really seems to wear this style anymore.

I am not obsessed with keeping up with trends, but I don't want to wear clothes that scream 40 year old millennial either.

Comedycook · 12/08/2024 18:48

For example, I have only been able to afford one loose/wide leg pair of jeans

What is your sort of budget? Have you looked at vinted... sometimes people sell items for £1! I got a lovely linen dress for £1...ok postage pushed it up but it still came to under a fiver. You can even get new stuff on there for a very low price

ItsAlrightDarling · 12/08/2024 19:01

I still wear my skinny jeans 🤷🏻‍♀️. I don’t care if ‘noone else wears them’, I like them.

ItsAlrightDarling · 12/08/2024 19:02

Then again I don’t mind being labelled a 40 year old millennial, because that’s exactly what I am and I’m not embarrassed by it.

Hadtohide · 13/08/2024 08:00

I agree that styles have changed a bit and I also have got rid of the shorter, more fitted dresses I was wearing to work 10 years ago.

but many of my younger work colleagues are still wearing skinny jeans. And there is a big difference between;

having clothes that are all “on trend”; and
just having 6 or 7 items of clothes and nothing else!

Surely there is a middle ground.

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