Is this not looking after myself?

You can't be going to work in the clothes you have listed? There's no doubt people there will notice, even if they don't say anything

You do need more clothes primark leggings some nice tops cheap as chips.

Selfcare is essentially also self love. Nothing wrong with addressing the debt if it means that you have the debt cleared soon. I also understand why you would have other priorities such as your DD. But, a few sets of clothing does not need to be expensive. You can get some cheap basic shirts/,tops and get fe a nice skirt from Vinted or ebay. I had a few years where I prioritized my DC, DH, house, etc etc. I had not bought clothes for years and when I looked at my wardrobe it was evident that I really needed some clothing as old , worn etc. It took me much money to have it upgraded all at once. Nowadays, I set some clear goals that I want to buy that year and I set a budget. So I plan to buy new bra's etc before my old ones are too worn out. It also gives me time to think what I need and I have time to see if I can find it online cheaply or in a sale etc. It is easier to maintain a certain level as every few months I check which clothes can still be worn and which should become my house clothes. It does not take huge amounts of money and I find it relaxing to scour the internet and see if I can find it within my monthly budget. I do similar for my DH and DC btw. As we know we will be travelling next year to visit family, I am checking and buying shirts, a sweater as colder in Europe than where we live etc etc. means that during the year my costs are spread, it does not affect me saving as it is part of my daily expense. It also means of I unexpectedly need to travel for my work, I have a decent set of clothes to use as a bit more formal than I normally wear. for what it is worth, when I was young my mom and dad were similar, they hardly bought anything for themselves. So I was hardwired that other things and wants take priority over my needs.

That's not enough clothes as you've found out. You need at least 2 pairs of jeans if that's what you mostly wear.
You definitely need more shoes. What would you do if your shoes fell apart?
Buy another couple of pairs.
Supermarket brands are fine.

@Salagaee To me, you sound like a completely normal person who is sensible with money. Humans don't need to rotate between different clothes every single day, and the "fast fashion" industry is polluting the planet.

With a whopping £3700 monthly payslip, you can focus on buying nice things for yourself and DD, rather than wasting it on something as mundane as clothes.

I am on holiday in Asia at the moment where we have house help at home. They have a bigger wardrobe than you and compared to your salary earn so little, though their wage is very good by local standards. Can’t imagine being so frugal, do you really need to be?!

Also just read your update about 20K debt. How did that happen?! How does one get into debt due to a relationship? Did your partner take out loans in your name without your consent? Why are they not paying it back? Also how much was the debt when you started paying in back as you say you still have 20K left to pay.

I think you can set aside £10 monthly as a clothes budget to improve your situation. Look online on Next clearance, you can get jeans, t shirts, dresses, jumpers etc at very reasonable prices in clearance even more so if you are size 8-10 as there is less demand for these sizes. Also in winter buy summer clothes and in summer buy winter clothes as it is always cheaper when out of season.

Yes. This is very odd.

Take home £3,700 do yearly take home £44,400. Gross approx £58,343 (assuming no pension or student loan). This is a very good salary.

To deny yourself is strange. Why? You could get lovely classy clothes second hand cheaply of eBay. Just a few pieces, occasionally. To live like this is odd. I agree either way your mum. Why do you do this to yourself? Do you have low self esteem? Think you aren't worth it?

Let me tell u im in the same position as u and i earn the same amount…when ur a single parent it doesnt go far! U do ur best and we have 0 time for ourselfs i have no time for self care dont let it get u down.

You only wear 2 dresses and one pair of shoes to work, to the office. No. This can't be.

There's nothing wrong with a small wardrobe if it suits you!

I have a lot of clothes but in reality I only cycle between 2-3 outfits in summer and another 2-3 outfits in the winter under my coat. During COVID I lived in a hot country and I literally only used three dresses (2 of which were identical), a pair of sandals and a few stay at home bits. It's nice not to have to think about what you want to wear.

Get some decent shoes. The cost of physio/rehab equipment and orthotics when (not if, when) you go over on your ankle due to the complete absence of biomechanical support will be well over 40 years' worth of cheap shit footwear.

Whilst I think the OP should have a little more in her wardrobe, and would be able to do this quite economically, I don't get this obsession with pyjamas (several PPs have mentioned them).

I never wear anything in bed, so I own one (unworn) pair of pyjamas in case I stay in someone's house (which I don't do!).

If I were OP I'd buy a few things to wear during the day, not faff about buying a wardrobe of (irritating to sleep in) nightwear.

Op does wear something in bed - a t shirt!

You can get a nightie in Asda for £8.

I do think you need a decent pair of shoes. It’s not good for you to wear flip flops or cheap shoes with no support all year round.

But that's a good basic wardrobe and exactly what the OP doesn't have at the moment.

No , I wouldn't be happy with that amount of clothes.
For your mum to notice and actually say something would concern me.
One pair of jeans would wear out quickly.
There must be some things you like somewhere.

Are you sure you are keeping your clothes clean , could that be what your mum meant about not looking after yourself?

Because she's sleeping in her day clothes and her loved ones are worried she is not looking after herself. If she were happy to sleep naked then no one would be suggesting PJs.

I have lots clothes but I only wear the same number of items OP describes

If you have a few cheap clothes but they are appropriate and clean that seems OK to me as you are on a tight budget.

Are you taking good care of your physical and mental health? Do you go to the dentist regularly for instance?

Oh come on, stop being pedantic. Small minimalist wardrobe is one thing. As Bobton describes. But only 1 pair of shoes is extremist. Martyrdom for the love of it.

Not far off the OP. I don't have two dresses that she has. And if I didn't have a lifestyle that requires wellies and walking boots, I would have two pairs of footwear as she does. She works in an office, I don't. If you love clothes and shopping for them, by all means buy loads of them and enjoy it. If it isn't something that interests you, why do more than the minimum just to assuage societal expectations. I expect the OP's mother is more concerned with how she herself is judged by her daughter appearance than any actual worry about self-care. eg If my children behave badly in public, it reflects poorly on my parenting (or lack thereof).

Wouldn't life be easier to have at least enough clothes to last for one week without washing? I can't imagine all the washing required to actually stay clean with so few items.

Good advice and enjoy your clothes!😁

I am going to guess that other people in ops life have noticed this...they are just too polite to mention it.