Is this not looking after myself?

But you're happy to dress your DD in decent clothes?

What difference would £100 or so actually make to your debt, really?

I’m wearing a top today that I realised I’ve had since 1999 - it’s older than my kids!!
wear what you want and what you like. You don’t need loads of clothes and if you’re comfortable and happy then crack on!

At some stage your dd will also care about what her mum wears.

Basic clothing to cover various occasions and weather is an essential purchase.

The amount of clothes a person has isn't an adequte measure of how well they look after themselves.

Do you have plans to clear the debt and move forward?

Let’s be serious here OP, would it make a huge difference if you spent £20 a month on clothes instead of putting it towards the debt?

I hate debt and always promote paying that first. But £20 is unlikely to make a dent and you could buy yourself 2 tops for that money this month. Then next month a new pair of jeans / trousers. You suddenly have a few other options in your wardrobe.

October you could get yourself a nice jumper, November and December you could keep an eye on sales for some new shoes.

Come on, that’s only £100 by the end of the year and a few decent extra outfits, if you really feel too anxious about spending lots and lots of money on yourself.

I had roughly the same number of outfits as you for a decade or so when the kids were young. Then I bought several more pairs of jeans, but they all looked the same, it was just easier not having to wash them too urgently.

I did not care that much about my appearance at the time. I was neat and clean but that was about it. I don’t care about fashion, I wasn’t dressing to project a particular image for work, and I reject the idea I need to be decoration for anyone. So I had basic clothes that were functional and comfortable. It worked for me then. When the kids were older and I had a bit more time again I started buying a bit more variety. But not a lot. I’m just not that interested. I don’t want to spend much time or money on it. That isn’t me not looking after myself. It’s me not buying into the idea that I have to provide others with something interesting to look at or that it’s important to my wellbeing to be interested in style and beauty. A man would almost certainly not have someone comment that they wear the same thing all the time.

But - I didn’t avoid buying something I needed. And I didn’t buy the least/cheapest of everything for me to make sure the money was available for the rest of the family to have more expensive stuff. I would see that as you not looking after yourself. Not because your basic needs aren’t met but because you are valuing others above yourself.

If you’re saving for a house, that’s not a bad reason to cut your budget on other things. If you’re just not spending money on yourself because you don’t think you are worth it, then that’s not so good.

Edited: Just seen the post about your debt. I would certainly be wanting to clear that more than I’d want lots of clothes.

You must have the washing machine on all the time?

No I disagree with your mother that you are notnlooking after yourself. As long as you are actually wearing clothes and they aren't threadbare and don't smell then that's fine. Your choice if you want to be a total martyr to saving money.

there are a lot of questions.. £3700 take home is a lot of money! it would depend on what you are spending your money on?

i'm curious to know why you've got to adulthood with only so few clothes? is this a choice?

This.

But someone choosing to live with a minimalist wardrobe is very different from someone who doesn't feel they deserve to buy themselves even the basics.

OP unless this comes from a minimalist lifestyle choice, I think another pair of jeans, some smart trousers, and tops, nightwear, underwear for a week or so would be necessities even if you are in debt. Also coat and a couple of pairs of shoes.

At least buy some decent shoes - come on you must earn over £55k before tax and deductions and you are wearing £9 shoes from Tesco? That is a false economy.

I don’t even have one pair of jeans! I have invested though in some really solid wardrobe basics from M&S and from Vinted which allow a capsule wardrobe of many outfits from just a few basic items (plus the few items I’ve had since the late 90’s that are still going strong!)

I invested in some wide leg trousers in black and Navy (neutrals wash me out!) and about 7/8 different tops to wear with them, including t-shirts, sleeveless tops, loose shirts. And I wear them with a pair of Stan Smith trainers from Vinted for £10 or Birkenstock dupes from M&S for £25 - if I’m wearing for a work meeting I’ll add a blazer to smarten it up (Vinted again for £4) or a cardi if more casual

I also invested in some wrap style midi dresses (suit me more now I’m over 40 and more curvy!) which again I got mostly from Vinted in a few different colours & prints and can also be paired with trainers or sandals and a blazer to be more smart.

but I still think that if you are happy and comfortable and confident in your clothes now then don’t let your mothers comments bother you.

my mum likes to remind me every time I see her that I used to be so slim and now I have a huge bottom!!

I admire your minimalist approach and if you are happy dont spend what you dont want to....however all I'm thinking is surely those limited outfits must equal them constantly being washed and becoming washed out or faded looking?
As others hav said vinted is fab, outlets have great bargains and lots of high St stores have sales on. I bought 2 tops in matalan sale today for £16. My dad got 2 t shirts in m&s for £10.
An odd treat or even £100 could double the size of your wardrobe and won't greatly impact your level of debt

You need a few more bits so you can at least rotate a few outfits for occasions, seasons etc. Charity shops, vinted etc can be such a great way to invest in more items for less.

I am also curious as to how OP ended up with 20k in debt when she spends so little on herself while earning a very respectable salary. There was another thread a few months back where a woman didn't buy herself any clothes but was spending all the money in the world on her daughter. I wonder if this is the same OP. If this is the case, then it seems indeed unreasonable.

I think it’s interesting which questions you’re choosing to answer and which you’re ignoring.

I suspect this is going to end up as one of those threads where a lot of posters get over invested and then tell the OP off because they’re frustrated.

If you were my friend or sister, I would worry about you.

Julia-simple-styling on Instagram does good capsule wardrobe style ups.

Perhaps add some basics (t shirts, vests etc) in neutral colours to give you more options with your basics. Tesco and Asda get nice things in that won’t break the bank. I think it’s easy to get into a rut.

Supermarkets have lovely things in and they’re cheap.

I honestly don’t know how you survive on so few clothes! Don’t you get ridiculously bored of the same few things over and over?

What do you wear to work where neither jeans or running trousers would be acceptable?!

Fair enough. I hope you are prioritising clearing the debt. As I said, I am not fussed myself about clothes.