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When it comes to sex after childbirth, the consensus on our Talk boards is that new mothers can feel anxious about penetrative sex. The general advice is wait six weeks before attempting penetrative intercourse following childbirth, but many of us know that the reality is a tad bit longer than that. Saying that, while penetrative sex might be a distant thought for some new mothers, that doesn’t mean you have to - or should - shun your sexual needs.
In fact, a recent survey of Mumsnet users found that 75% of new mothers worry about reconnecting with their sexuality after birth, and 80% were unable to find relevant information about doing so. Meaning, many mothers are wanting to but unsure where to start.
Recognising this, Mumsnet, along with Smile Makers, have collaborated to create the first vibrator that’s inspired, designed and created with the needs of new mothers in mind. Smile Makers are renowned for their world class stimulation products, which support women of all sexual life phases - including those who are pregnant, and those who have just given birth.
Named The Whisperer, the vibrator is an industry first. Tackling the taboo of mothers’ pleasure, sexuality and education, The Whisperer is designed specifically to help new mothers reconnect with their bodies and sexuality after the extraordinary experience of childbirth.
From the survey, the two brands found that 84% of Mumsnetters were proud of what their body has done, but more than 60% struggle with body image and feel like a vessel for their child’s needs. Other main factors holding mothers back from resuming and enjoying their sex lives are: feeling self-conscious and reluctant to re-start sexual activity, a lack of time and tiredness, and the experience of scar tissue causing general nervousness about internal penetration.
Introducing The Whisperer
Based on the knowledge that new mothers can feel anxious about penetrative sex and that external stimulation is most efficient to reach orgasm, Smile Makers and Mumsnet have created a vibrator to help them reconnect with pleasure.
To cater for scar tissue and heightened sensitivity, The Whisperer’s patented design is made with super soft and flexible silicone which creates a gentle touch on the clitoris. Its curved tip follows the anatomy of the clitoral glans, which is highly innervated, to deliver satisfying stimulation.
Price: £34.95 | The Whisperer, buy now from smilemakerscollection.com
Commenting on the launch of The Whisperer, Smile Makers’ brand director Cecile Gasnault, said: “We are delighted to introduce The Whisperer and be working with Mumsnet, which is such a leader within the mothering world. This is something we’ve been working on for a while and are very proud of the outcome.
"We knew from previous activations with our community that sex and motherhood is a deeply-rooted taboo. The lack of conversation and resources on the topic is leaving mothers feeling side-lined as sexual beings. At Smile Makers, we have been tackling taboos around female sexuality for over 10 years and that was obviously an important one to remove.”
Here's what Mumsnet testers thought
Ahead of launch, we asked twenty anonymous Mumsnetters to test out The Whisperer, and here's what they thought...
Small but powerful
"I think The Whisperer would be a welcome addition to most peoples sex life, it's easy to use, small but very powerful, rechargeable which I love and would definitely suit adventurous people or even those just trying to get back in to being intimate."
Comfortable to use
"I felt extremely comfortable. It was nice getting comfortable again with my sexuality again after having a baby. It was very discreet, visually appealing and easy to use."
Discreet and not intimidating
"The Whisperer feels like a more discreet, sensual toy which made me feel comfortable from the start. It wasn’t as intimating as some other sex toys on the market. I’ve never really enjoyed using them until I used this one. I would be keen to explore more in the range."
Easy to use
"It's a simple small toy that's easy to use and perfect for my partner to use on me too."
Use with a partner
"Toys are something we use often and he was happy to try it with me. He liked how easy it was to use."
"He was a bit shocked at first and offended thinking he wasn't giving me sexual pleasure, however once agreed he would try it on me it was a fun addition."
Soft and gentle
"I thought that the soft feel of it was good - much more pleasant than some other sex toys I've used which are a lot harder."
Justine Roberts, founder of Mumsnet also commented, “Mumsnet has always been a place where women can share opinions, knowledge and advice on anything and everything, including sex. We hear frequently from women who are struggling to reconnect with their sexuality after having children, or who can’t find the support or information they need in order to do so.
“That’s why we’re glad to have been able to work with Smile Makers to create the first vibrator designed specifically for mothers. In doing so, we hope not only to enable women to reconnect with their sexuality more easily after childbirth, but to also counter the outdated taboos and stereotypes that can lead to some women feeling embarrassed or ashamed about their sexual needs.”
Exclusive offer for Mumsnetters
Spend £50 or above and get your hands on a free Erotic Kneads Slow massage oil and free delivery at Smile Makers. Simply use the code SMILEMAKERS when checking out. Offer valid on the Smile Makers website only.
The Whisperer is available to buy now on the Smile Makers website for £34.95.
About the author
Rebecca Roberts is a writer, editor, and content marketing expert hailing from Leeds. Here at Mumsnet, she commissions, writes, and edits to bring parents content designed to make life easier. After birthing and breastfeeding two babies in two years, Rebecca knows first-hand how hard it can be to reignite intimacy. From condoms, to lubricants, to sex toys - she’s on a quest to find the best ones, with the help of Mumsnet user recommendations.
Beyond her role as an editor here at Mumsnet, Rebecca can be found balancing life as a working mum of two toddlers and when she’s not at her desk, you’ll likely find her at a local playgroup, in a nearby coffee shop, walking the dog, or hiding from her neighbour as she attempts to buy condoms during her weekly “Big Food Shop”.