The mental health benefits of sex toys

It’s an otherwise ordinary evening, but you’re in the mood for an extra treat. You slip away into the bedroom, turn the lights down low, get yourself real comfortable, and then reach for your favourite vibrator. (Yes, the one you think you’ve hidden well… in the bottom drawer.)

Good for you. No, we mean literally — sex toys are good for you and, in particular, for your mental health. The benefits of sexual wellness products are vast and worth your exploration. Whether that means helping relieve some pent up tension, creating a deeper connection with your partner, or simply improving your mood, there are many benefits here.

So, if you need another excuse to get it on, either alone or with a partner, we've got you covered. In this guide, we dive into the science-backed mental health benefits of using sex toys with the help of a Consultant Gynaecologist, Clinical Psychologist and a GP.

How do sex toys benefit mental health?

Looking for an instant mood boost? The connection between using sex toys and mental well-being is undeniable and we’ve seen the studies to prove it. In fact, according to Smita Sinha, a Consultant Gynaecologist and founder of the Serenity Women’s Clinic, having sex and using sex toys “releases endorphins and oxytocin, reducing stress, improving mood, and fostering emotional connection with a partner.”

In the following section, we take a look at the most notable psychological benefits of sex toys. You’re welcome.

1. Improve your mood and become happier

Ever noticed how amazing you feel after orgasming? It’s science. When you reach that Big O, your brain releases endorphins, also known as ‘feel good hormones’. They do what they say on the tin, i.e. make you feel good. It doesn’t end there. These crucial hormones also help you alleviate stress and act as a natural pain reliever, too.

It’s no wonder that you end up feeling happier after you’ve used sex toys. Masturbating — either with or without sex toys — can help to combat anxiety, depression, and loneliness, according to a study published in Environmental Research and Public Health. The research identified this as a form of “distraction or self-soothing” for many people.

2. Reduce stress and anxiety

While we’re on the topic of your mood, let’s talk about the S-word: stress. A massive 86% of Brits feel stressed at least one day each month. Whether you’re working flat-out to meet an important deadline, worrying about money problems, or trying hard to manage your many family commitments, it’s common to feel overwhelmed from time to time.

While there are many ways to relieve stress — from meditating to exercise — there’s one approach you may have overlooked. Using sex toys can offer instant relief and help you combat those pent-up feelings of stress and frustration. Research published in the International Journal of Sexual Health focussed on sextech and mental health benefits. Good news: The results suggested masturbation is a “reliable coping strategy” in dealing with psychological stress.

Clinical Psychologist Dr. Tracy King agrees, “sex toys can help reduce stress and tension by promoting relaxation through orgasm.

“Orgasms release a flood of feel-good hormones like oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins, which act as natural stress relievers. Vibrators, in particular, stimulate blood flow to the genital area, enhancing circulation and alleviating discomfort associated with vaginal dryness or atrophy.”

A woman holding a pink sex toy and her phone looking at her toy's usage

Some sex toy designs allow you to remotely control the toy and monitor your usage

3. Embrace self-care and break taboos

Think using sex toys is “wrong”? Think again. For far too long, there’s been an unfounded taboo surrounding self-pleasure and the use of toys. However, it’s time to switch up the narrative. Denying yourself this small joy, or doing it and feeling guilty about it, is a surefire way to wallow in a pit of needless shame. It’s time to stop.

I have regular satisfying sex with my husband but I still like to masturbate a few times a week too with a vibrator. I've always seen them as two separate acts. It's my favourite form of self care during my "me time".

GigiAnnna

Embracing sex toys as a form of self-care is about listening to your body and responding to what it needs. When you begin to reframe this as a form of self-love, appreciation, and care, it changes everything.

Research in the National Library of Medicine even found that women who had a positive outlook on using vibrators scored higher on the Female Sexual Function Index. Basically, they literally had better sex.

4. Boost your self-esteem and body positivity

Body positivity doesn’t come naturally to all of us. If yours is still a work-in-progress, spending some alone time with sex toys could help you along the way. Research published in the Sexual Medicine Journal found a positive correlation between masturbation and positive body images. GP and British Menopause Society (BMS) specialist Dr. Deepali Misra-Sharp agrees, sharing that when it comes to self-exploration, “sex toys empower individuals to learn about their bodies, preferences, and triggers, boosting self-confidence.”

“Sex toys also help shift the focus from societal beauty standards to the sensations and capabilities of the body”, adds Dr. King, “which is particularly important for those who may struggle with body image issues.”

And it makes sense. The more you love yourself (physically speaking, of course!), the better you are likely to feel about your body. What’s more, with such a wide variety of toys out there, there are plenty of new and interesting ways to better explore your body and get to know yourself.

Adding some sexual self-care to your routine could make a huge difference to how you feel.

Are sex toys safe to use?

Sex toys are safe to use so long as you follow the proper care and hygiene instructions. As Smita Sinha explains, “always clean toys before and after use, use body-safe materials, follow instructions, and avoid sharing toys between partners without proper disinfection.”

Dr. King elaborates: “choosing sex toys made from body-safe, non-porous materials such as medical-grade silicone, stainless steel, or borosilicate glass is essential for reducing the risk of irritation or infection.

“Porous materials, like jelly or rubber, can harbour bacteria even with proper cleaning and should ideally be avoided or used with a condom for added safety.

“Additionally, it’s important to avoid sharing sex toys between partners unless a barrier method, like a condom, is used, as this helps prevent the transmission of infections.”

Of course, you may also want to use lubricants to make playing with certain sex toys more comfortable. Dr. King adds: “Lubrication is another essential factor for safe and enjoyable use of sex toys.

“Choosing the right lubricant based on the toy’s material is critical—for example, water-based lubricants are safe for all toy types, while silicone-based lubricants should not be used with silicone toys as they can degrade the material.”

Related: Best finger vibrators for foreplay and sex

Can using sex toys improve intimacy in relationships?

The simple answer is yes. Since there’s now a wide array of options on the market, there are always new ways to explore what turns you on and gets you off. If you’re using sex toys alone, these are valuable lessons that you can take back to the bedroom and share with your partner.

Of course, sex toys aren’t only suitable for solo adventures. Why not start exploring some of the best sex toys for couples as well? Trying something new and exciting with your partner leads to a better connection plus higher levels of emotional and physical intimacy.

As Dr. King, explains, “sex toys can play a transformative role in enhancing intimacy within relationships by fostering communication, introducing novelty, and deepening emotional and physical connections.

“Introducing a toy into the relationship often requires honest conversations about what each partner enjoys, creating a space for vulnerability and trust. This openness can lead to a better understanding of each other’s needs and preferences, strengthening the overall bond.”

Make sure you’re both on the same page. Start by having an open conversation with your partner about what you’d like to explore together. Be sure to listen to their suggestions and be respectful of what each of you does and doesn’t feel comfortable with.

Be sure to listen to each other and respectful of each other's wishes

How do I choose the right sex toy for my needs?

Explore and experiment to find the right sex toys for you. First of all, you should do some research. Think about the type of toy you’re interested in — for example, a bullet vibrator, a rabbit, or a remote controlled toy — and take things from there.

As always, you need to go at your own pace. Consider what is comfortable for you when using sex toys and make sure that everything you do feels good. Needless to say, if you feel any irritation or unexpected pain, you should stop immediately.

Ready to give it a go for yourself? Read our guide on how to use sex toys to get started.

About the experts

Dr. Deepali Misra-Sharp is a highly experienced GP and British Menopause Society (BMS) menopause specialist. She is also a menopause trainer.
Dr. Tracy King is a Clinical Psychologist, Hypnotherapist, Jungian Life Coach, Yoga and Meditation Teacher, Spiritual Emergence Coach and writer.
Smita Sinha is a Consultant Gynaecologist and founder of Serenity Women’s Clinic.

About the author

Charlotte Grainger is a freelance writer based in Sheffield, specialising in health, lifestyle, and sexuality. She has extensive experience covering sex and relationship topics with long-form features published in leading outlets such as Men’s Health, Brides Magazine, and MSN.