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Awake with newborn, anyone else? :)

(980 Posts)
Jellybean2017 Mon 14-Aug-17 01:35:39

My little boy is nine days old. He sleeps pretty well during the day but at night just wants to be held and breastfed. He doesn't settle in his moses basket at night (but he will quite often do so during the day)

Anyone else up doing the same?! I'm not keen on the idea of co-sleeping but would be grateful for any advice. Baby sleeps in a gro-snug and we have a dream sheep but I'm guessing this frequent feeding and love of cuddles in the night is probably just par for the course at this early stage? 😊 I am napping during the day so I'm probably averaging about 6 hrs sleep in a 24 hr period.

furryelephant Mon 14-Aug-17 01:51:39

Congrats on your little baby smile I also wasn't keen on cosleeping but quickly realised that it was the key to more sleep for us, and most nights she'd end up sleeping on my chest anyway blushDD is 8 months and still a cot hater, so still cosleeps and then ends up on my chest by 5-6am hmmif you're absolutely exhausted and at the point of falling asleep sitting up to feed, then I'd advise learning how to feed laying down smiletrickier when they're so tiny but possible!
at your such early stages it is absolutely so normal for them to wake frequently and feeding overnight is near enough essential to increasing your milk supply I believe, so just try and roll with it and enjoy the cuddles! I don't have any useful advice on long term sleeping as DD is a terrible sleeper and I class a night as a success if we don't see every hour of the clock overnight grin

gluteustothemaximus Mon 14-Aug-17 01:52:10

Congratulations flowers

I'm up with my 18 month old, but each of my newborns wanted cuddles and BF at nighttime. In fact, so does my 18 month old! Co sleeping worked for us.

He's so tiny and yes it's normal. Hard work, but enjoy the tiny cuddles. They go by way too

ButterflyFree Mon 14-Aug-17 02:21:27

Congratulations OP 💐

I'm up with my 4 week old. He feeds every 2-3 hours and also doesn't like his Moses basket, or to be put down to sleep anywhere other than on my chest. It was a real struggle for the first 2 weeks and I wasn't sleeping a wink through the night. I'd stay up all the way through until around 9am, feeding him and cuddling him, and then hand him over to my mum (DH has been abroad with work for 3 weeks) so that I could get 2 or 3 hours of sleep alone between 9-12noon.

I also purchased Ewan the Dream Sheep and it hasn't helped at all so far, but the lifesaver has been the GroSnug. My baby could escape from a regular blanket swaddle from the day he was born, but zipping him up in the GroSnug (with the arms closed obviously) meant he couldn't get out, and now I can move him from my chest and put him down in the SleepyHead as soon as he falls asleep, and he doesn't stir. It has revolutionised my nights as I can now finally do what everyone advises you to do as a new mother - "sleep when the baby sleeps" 😅

Jellybean2017 Mon 14-Aug-17 02:37:35

Thanks everyone smile ButterflyFree what is a Sleepyhead?

We have the gro-snugs but I have been leaving him with one arm out as otherwise he looks a little too restricted, perhaps I need to try tucking him all in. Do you breastfeed with baby completely swaddled in the gro-snug or do you normally take it off for night feeds?

Ah yes, glad I'm not the only one hearing that old chestnut "sleep when baby sleeps" haha!

ButterflyFree Mon 14-Aug-17 03:01:05

SleepyHead is a sort of cushiony cocoon for baby to sleep in, and because it's quite cosy and snug they tend to feel happier and safer sleeping in it than in a big roomy crib.

At night I always feed him in the GroSnug (arms fully tucked in) because otherwise he won't stop wiggling and flailing his arms around. It keeps him calmer and means he goes back off to sleep more easily straight after a night feed. In his first 2 weeks he always used to drift off whilst feeding and unlatch himself, but now at 4 weeks old he's become more alert and is spending more time awake, so he gets all excited during a feed and then it's a real challenge to settle him down again afterwards, but the grosnug prevents that issue from occurring at night.

I also think the startle reflex used to wake him up, and since he's been sleeping in the GroSnug he's slept for longer stints in the night. The key to the success of the GroSnug for us is that it keeps his arms under control.

ButterflyFree Mon 14-Aug-17 03:03:55

Here's the website for SleepyHead (available at many major retail stores including John Lewis):

& this is DS 2 nights ago, sleeping peacefully in his GroSnug in the SleepyHead! smile

Jellybean2017 Mon 14-Aug-17 03:14:35

Thank you, it looks good, perhaps I will have a look into getting one! Will also try swaddling baby with arms in. It's all just a big learning curve at the moment but I am sure it will get easier 😊 was there meant to be a picture on your last post, I can't see it if so 😊

NinaMarieP Mon 14-Aug-17 03:58:25

I have spent the last hour sobbing.
Day 8 and baby has been feeding since 9.30, apart from one hour when his daddy took him through to the living room rocked him while I slept. I'm totally exhausted. My nipples are agony. I keep begging him to just sleep. He's asleep on my chest right now and I'm afraid if I move him he'll wake up and I can't bear it.

Picklepickle123 Mon 14-Aug-17 04:07:22

@ninamaria Lots of hugs for you! I don't have lots of useful advice, but didn't want to read and run! The only thing that I found useful when my nipples were blistered and bleeding was feeding for half an hour and then taking a break for half an hour. Baby may cry, but at least you can go to the toilet and grab something to eat while your poor breasts prepare for the next round. DS is now 10 weeks and a really good feeder, although admittedly we didn't have any latch problems. Can your husband take baby more frequently in the day? X

Jellybean2017 Mon 14-Aug-17 04:09:09

Bless you Nina. I had a bad night last night and got upset. Things did seem better in the morning but I was able to get a little longer to sleep after the 6am feed. Is your partner on paternity leave or is he having to get up for work? Do you have anyone else around for support during the day times? Have you tried lansinoh cream to help with the soreness? I have started using it and finding it really good, might be worth a try. It's such an emotional time isn't it, we are still recovering from giving birth, feeling overwhelmed by everything and a lack of sleep just compounds everything. I hope you are OK flowers xx

NinaMarieP Mon 14-Aug-17 04:20:16

I've got tons of support during the day but I've struggled to sleep for more than an hour or so at a time, I just keep waking up and have to check on baby. My fiancé is off work
and has been up/awake almost as much as I have the past few nights. He does all the nappy changes and tries to sooth baby to sleep to give me a break.

TittyGolightly Mon 14-Aug-17 04:23:57

Google the fourth trimester.

Your baby should still be inside you (all human babies are born prematurely), being held snugly, rocked to sleep, fed on demand and hearing your voice and heart beat.

That's what your baby wants and needs. wink

icecuube Mon 14-Aug-17 04:24:57

I am up with my 4 week old. I second the sleepyhead, my dd has always gone down in that really well because it offers more security than her crib alone. They are not the cheapest but worth looking into! Do you get much sleep through the day?

@NinaMarieP hugs to you! I really felt the same way, I even posted about it too! Things will get better I promise, the first couple of weeks are the hardest! Have you had any advice on your latch? Has your baby been checked for tongue tie? That was the problem in my case, and feeding became much more comfortable once that was resolved. You are doing a fab job, take it hour by hour right now xxx

NinaMarieP Mon 14-Aug-17 04:25:21

I do know that but it doesn't make it any easier when you're exhausted and afraid you'll fall asleep feeding him and smother him.

Newmumtobabyno1 Mon 14-Aug-17 04:27:00

I'm awake!! smile with my 5 month old after he's decided to feed at 9, 10, 12, 1.30, 3 and 4 so far hmm. Even cosleeping hasn't helped tonight yawn.

NinaMarieP Mon 14-Aug-17 04:29:00

I've had the breastfeeding support workers out a couple of times and they've really helped me with positioning him.'I'm going to ask them to come out again today to help me try some new positions to see if that helps, if he's not always latched on the same spot.

The initial latch is excruciating most of the time but the feed is comfortable after that.
But once he comes off they hurt - he's so bad for grabbing them when he's trying to latch too, I've actually smacked his face by accident the pain is so bad.

Rubbing milk in, leaving to air and then applying lansinoh helps during the day but these night feeds are so frequent they they're not getting a chance to recover.

TittyGolightly Mon 14-Aug-17 04:31:48

I do know that but it doesn't make it any easier when you're exhausted and afraid you'll fall asleep feeding him and smother him.

Millions of women (and men) co-sleep with babies all over the world every night. As long as you do it safely, the risks are very very low.

Are you doing everything you can to get rest through the day? My DH worked away during the week and DD would only sleep on my bare chest for the first 4 months. I had no family in the same country. I exclusively expressed milk for 8-9 months. Luckily I can sleep anywhere and at anytime so did sleep through the day when she slept. Use whatever help you have (especially if the 2 week growth spurt is coming) and reserve your energy for the nights. Like any marathon it's at least 50% mental. ;).

guesswhosback Mon 14-Aug-17 04:35:49

Here here! Congrats on the baby x
Just exchanged shifts with other half.
We have a 5 week old girl and sleep in shifts. It's the only insane way of functioning at the moment.
I had the 'shitty' shift - from appx 10 generally until 4..little munchkin managed to poonami herself after evening nap and got herself so riled up it took ages to calm her down. She fed 3 times in space of 4 hours... smaller amounts than daytime.. think she was making up for all that Iam trying to sleep in spare room but can't quite chill.. so here I am on mn.

Jellybean2017 Mon 14-Aug-17 04:42:15

Thanks guess 😊 hope you manage to get some sleep soon after the poonami nightmare! We are doing shifts too at the moment, not sure how that will go when my husband has to return to work though!

Timefor2 Mon 14-Aug-17 05:11:26

Hi from me too with two week old DS! He's drifting off to sleep in my arms but I know will wake once I transfer him to the sleepyhead!

Jellybean2017 Mon 14-Aug-17 05:19:24

Ahh so you have a Sleepyhead too! Do you not find it so effective? We have a moses basket which my little one doesn't seem keen on!!

NinaMarieP Mon 14-Aug-17 06:05:33

Thank you all for all the support. He stayed asleep this time so I've had a whole hour and I'm hoping for more!

It's probably fairly irrational Titty. But it's a worry of mine and I wouldn't be able to relax for it.

Jellybean2017 Mon 14-Aug-17 07:45:52

Sounds great Nina, my little one also slept in his basket for about an hour from 5am so that was a relief. Hope you manage,a little more sleep today 😊

NinaMarieP Mon 14-Aug-17 07:54:15

Thanks Jelly, and sorry for highjacking your thread.

He is still asleep now so I have had about 2.5 hours. Though he is starting to fidget and grump.

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