More Legs chapter four - the one where life begins again. There’s a whole world out there..

[MoreLegsThanMe]

New thread for the new year.

Aiming for more positivity than negativity, although slagging off ExH, the OW and their Beautiful Home is still allowed…

x

[Bittercloudylemonade]

Happy New year. I don't comment on your threads. But I like to check in and see how you are doing. You are a phoenix, I think 2022 will be your year to rise. I look forward to reading about it.

[Melstarrynight]

I'm the same. I hardly comment but am cheering you on from the sidelines. I would imagine there are many more of us. Keep on keeping on.

[WitchDancer]

Found you - thank you Twitchy for the link.

[Billybagpuss]

Happy new year legs. It’s gonna be a good one.

[sparkleywallpaper]

I have followed your thread from day 1. What a year you've had ---- I admire you.
Happy New Year.

[MoreLegsThanMe]

Thank you x

And thank you Twitchy for the link.

This year can’t be worse than last. I truly don’t think anything could happen that would make me feel that way.

Tomorrow we’ll take the decorations down and get them all back the the garage. Then it’ll just be lazing about seeing as DD4 and DS are back to school on Tuesday.

I thought I might’ve heard something from ExH about the bill for the garage door. But of course there’s been nothing.

I’m determined this year to try and think about them less, although I’m sure that’s a natural progression as time goes on. I’m surprised they’ve lasted this long if I’m honest. No job, no money, no dick, what an absolute catch.

DD4 will start getting her Uni offers soon I think. He won’t be party to any of that. Hard to believe is only a few months to her A levels and DS’s GCSEs. Even harder to believe that come August/September it’ll be just me and DS in the house as DD4 will be away.

So there will be that excitement this year.. I can’t think of anything else to look forward to so far, just wanting to move on in general. I have Mr NM too of course.

I’m still having the horrible sweating at night thing. If it’s not Covid messing with me one last time I have no idea what it could be.

This is a very random question, but you do think I did the right thing divorcing him, don’t you?

x

[Sunbird24]

Damn right you did Legs!

[Feministwoman]

Absolutely! ( previous poster with a name change)

[AcrossthePond55]

Of course you did the right thing! Severing the legal ties is important for your future (at least here in the US) as it means you are no longer responsible for anything they choose to do and no longer the 'next of kin' for any decision-making that needs to be done. Let Ms Sugar Tits wipe his wrinkly arse and then pick out his home when the time comes. And figure out a way to pay for it.

Emotionally, I think it's absolutely imperative and an important step in severing any remaining emotional ties.

[Billybagpuss]

Oh legs of course you’ve done the right thing. You were completely loyal and faithful throughout your marriage, that’s why betrayal of what he did hurt so much.

The divorce means you are free to enjoy your new life without guilt. Even though you have developed a relationship with nm. I remember your post the first time, you still felt guilty and unfaithful. Now you’re free.

January is always a crappy month without the memories you have of this time last year. So now you have removed the decorations I challenge you to beat me to finding daffodils in the shops to bring in the spring.

[Newestname002]

@AcrossthePond55

Of course you did the right thing! Severing the legal ties is important for your future (at least here in the US) as it means you are no longer responsible for anything they choose to do and no longer the 'next of kin' for any decision-making that needs to be done. Let Ms Sugar Tits wipe his wrinkly arse and then pick out his home when the time comes. And figure out a way to pay for it.

Emotionally, I think it's absolutely imperative and an important step in severing any remaining emotional ties.

I couldn't have put it better. Your lives will be better without this emotional millstone dragging you all down. Hold onto that thought as you go through this year. 🌹

[ByeByeMissAmericanPie]

Can I start by saying I second and third the comments others have made above….


BUT … I’m going to Play Devils Advocate, @MoreLegsThanMe…

So what if you decided NOT to divorce him?

How would that benefit you and the DCs?

[WitchDancer]

Most definitely the right thing. He betrayed you in the worst possible way, plus you need that legal separation as said above.

[Justilou1]

Let me think about that of no seconds at all…. YES!!!

[MrsPerfect12]

You totally did the right thing!
I'm not much a poster but I do read your posts and cheer for you. You're coming across as happier for sure which is massive from a year ago.

[Pashazade]

Absolutely you did the right thing! Honestly you have come so far since last year, it's amazing to see/read how your life has changed for the better. All because you took that leap. You deserved to be happy and so did your children. You've done a good job, yes there have been hard days and yes there will still be hard days, we can't just switch our emotions off, but you are through the worst of it and life is getting better.

[Sitchervice]

100% right thing to do!

[MoreLegsThanMe]

Thank you!

You’re right @ByeByeMissAmericanPie. If I hadn’t done it there would have been zero benefit to any of us.

I don’t even know why I asked if I’ve done the right things For me, divorce means a failure. That’s just me though and I don’t and wouldn’t say that of anyone else. it’s comforting that you all agree I’ve done the best thing.

@AcrossthePond55 I’d never really thought about care before. As he ages he’ll probably need it, but slutbunny will be at work to pay their rent and bills and food, so she wouldn’t be able to help. How sad if he ended up in a crappy care home, no visitors bar her. What a miserable end to a life.

Everything is back to normal here now. DD4 and DS were back at school today and I realised that today was the first day I’d been alone in the house for over a month. I missed them!

I’ve started using a journaling app. I read back through my previous threads and it doesn’t feel like me. I’m hoping by writing something down every day it will help even more. I was so, so sad wasn’t I. I still feel it now but it doesn’t consume me like it did. I’ve kind of settled into the feeling if that makes sense.

DD4 is having her mock A levels rearranged given that she missed them last month. DS has another set of mocks coming up too. They stood around in queues for testing today for two hours. I know it has to be done but that’s two hours out of the day..some teachers were absent and there were only four students on their school bus today. I imagine it’s being repeated in every school everywhere.

And @Billybagpuss I accept your daffodil challenge. I didn’t see any today so will be on the lookout next week…you’ll have to let me know when you find yours. I like flowers. If I was rich I’d have fresh ones in every room of the house, every week. I’ve also got a shortlist of new bedlinen that I need to decide on. And I want a new duvet. ExH would only ever allow a 4.5 tog summer weight one as anything heavier was apparently like “being encased in concrete”. Mr NM has a 13 tog and that’s really too hot for me, so I’m undecided between a new one the same as I have now, or a cosier one the next warmth up. Decisions, decisions.

Although I’m keeping busy and still putting on a smile, inside I am still not properly happy. Is that normal, or should I not be giving this any thought at all by this stage? I feel safe and secure when I’m with Mr NM but of course I’m not with him all the time.

I so hate ExH. I really really do.

x

[Icanflyhigh]

Happy new year legs you're sounding more positive already xx

[Chinupandtitsout]

@MoreLegs I have spent the last couple of evenings reading through your entire thread from the beginning. You are truly an inspiration. Your strength is enormous, and the way you’re sounding now is SO positive. I wish you all the happiness you deserve in 2022.

[AcrossthePond55]

If you want my honest opinion, if 'The Amazing Inflatable Man' ever does need care, Slutbunny will kick him to the kerb. Anyone so self centred to basically walk out on her own children certainly hasn't proved herself to be much of a 'caregiver', has she?

They deserve each other. And you deserve ALL good things, and you are going to have them!

[Billybagpuss]

Morning legs, I am shopping tomorrow so will be keeping my eye out for daffodils then, although my house is currently quite well decked with flowers I treated myself just before Christmas and they’re still going strong then DD got some yesterday from work for her birthday and they are looking glorious.

One thing you have to start getting your head around. Divorce does not mean failure, you were married a long time and I’m sure during that time there were some happy times and you have your amazing kids, it most certainly had its successes. Divorce means the end of one period of your life, albeit one you never envisioned ending, and most importantly the start of a new period. You need that reinvigoration, as your marriage progressed, he became more selfish and you had just pootled along with it, in a rut.


This year you will hopefully start to really appreciate the gift he has given you, you can now forge your own path and your own happiness. I know you’re too much of a lady to ever divulge details, but do you honestly think sex with him even despite his issues will even come close to nm.

[ByeByeMissAmericanPie]

Yes, I’ve also taken the view that it’s a new chapter of my life. I’m not a failure, and my marriage produced fabulous DCs.

[WitchDancer]

With regards to your new duvet, we have one that is two that popper together. You can mix and match depending on the time of year. From memory one is 4.5 and the other something like a 9.5, so you can use them individually or together to make a 14.

[Justilou1]

Failure would be dying more each day that you stayed with him, not realizing that HE was the one with all the problems and you’re just damn fine without him.
Failure would be teaching your kids to expect or accept nothing better than you tolerated for so long.
Failure would be to keep burying yourself in this hopeless morass of shame that he placed you in so many years ago to cover up his own shortcomings.
You have clawed your way to the top and though your nails are shredded and your fingers are bleeding you MUST be able to see and feel the power you have gained in such a short time.
I would consider you a success already, but you need to bring yourself to the point where YOU see yourself as one too.